The Hedy Experience

The big hoo-ha & boobies

2011-05-10T20:01:00.003-05:00

"Can I have a hug?" I asked last night. "I'm a little nervous about meeting [Mr. Big Executive Hoo-Ha] this week."

"Don't be nervous. Show boobies," says Jim helpfully.

"That's not very nice. Why wouldn't you say 'be smart' instead?"

"Because I KNOW you'll be smart. I don't know if you'll show boobies. It can't hurt."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: The air conditioner in my hotel room
I am reading: A Confederacy of Dunces by John Kennedy
And I am: Not showing boobies

Some things

2011-03-29T20:42:00.003-05:00

I've learned over the past few months (post life-altering job change):

You can, in fact take a dump during a conference call

When not dumping, you can clean something

It's better than doing other work, which can be distracting

Best to focus on the voice(s) on the phone and scrub a toilet or sink

A handful of peanuts and a couple Mini Babybels is a good lunch

You've gotta get up and move around a little

15 hour days are good for you - really

If you can take a break and scratch your dog's belly for 5 minutes

Your dog knows when you need a break more often than you do

Someday I will yell "SHUT THE FUCK UP" at the phone

And it won't be on mute

You can get very tired of hearing the word "brethren"

Keep your phone on the charger

Keep your laptop plugged in

The music at Panera seriously sucks

The music at New York Bagel Deli on Wacker at Jackson is way better but they have no wall outlets

(A seriously bad business decision on their part)

Snow days are regular work days when you work from home

Sick days are regular work days when you work from home

Sometimes you just have to work from the couch all day

Just when you think you can't do any more...you can

Nobody knows where you are

And better still, nobody cares

Some days there's just no time to shower

It's bad when you wake up humming the hold music for your company's conference call service

When your Mom brings you a sandwich and tells you to take a break

It's the best sandwich you've ever had in your life

And you wish she could be there every day, reminding you to slow down

That it'll all get done, eventually

~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am listening to (and sort of watching): The Devil Wears Prada

I am reading: The God Delusion by Richard Dawkins (trying again)

And I am: Not working tonight

Vegas

2011-03-09T17:21:00.002-06:00

"Vegas is amazing. There are whores EVERYWHERE."

"So you fit in nicely?"

~~~~~~~~~~~

I am listening to: Gromit lick his butt

I am reading: Fall of Giants by Ken Follett

And I am: A little tired

Simply Human

2011-02-24T17:39:00.002-06:00

I've been eye-balling these shower soap dispensers from Simple Human for more than a year now.

Hedy, Hedy, Hedy.

Yep. I know. It's a long story.

There's too much clutter in our shower. Between the Makes Your Ass Smell Perty soap (I swear that's what it's called) and the Makes Your Hair Smell Not Like Your Ass Before the Perty Soap shampoo and the Makes Your Face Look Young Like a Baby's Ass scrubs, there's a lot going on in that relatively small space.

So I want this wall mount woop-di-do soap dispenser.

70 bucks, Hedy?

THAT'S precisely why I've been eye-balling it for a year. It seems like a rather pricey way to de-clutter the shower when I could just get a ginormous bottle of all-purpose Pert and be done with it.

Anyhow. I'm inching ever closer to making the purchase. But we're talking about remodeling the bathroom in the fall and I don't want to buy the wall mount woop-di-do only to have to re-buy the wall mount sticker bracket thingies once we redo the shower.

So I called Simple Human customer support. And that's why I'm writing about this and not myriad other ridiculous activities from the week.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I'm looking at the Triple Wall Mount Pump soap dispenser. I want to buy it now but I have a question: We're remodeling the bathroom in 6 months. Will I need to purchase a new thingy to mount it on the wall when we tear down the old shower? Or does it hang with a bracket and screws?"

"You're remodeling when? In six months?"

"Yes."

"Here's what I'd do. Wait to buy it. It's a great product but we're in the middle of redesigning it and you'll really like the new version better than this one."

"Really? You're telling me to wait to buy something from you because a new version is coming soon?"

"Yes."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Triple Mount Wall Pump?

Yes. I want that. In my shower. Shaddap.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Isn't that great? A customer service rep tells me to hold off purchasing a product because a newer, better version is on the way.

That, my friends, is reason enough to make a purchase from the kind and thoughtful people at Simple Human.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am listening to: The shower running

I am reading: Nothing much although getting the urge again soon

And I am: Surprised & grateful

The other dog

2011-02-23T19:28:00.002-06:00

"Peyton died."

That's how I found out about the neighbor's dog: Via text from Jim while I was in Michigan last weekend.

"Lymphoma."

Apparently four weeks prior, the little guy's blood work came back just fine. Then Peyton stopped eating. And he went down hill quickly from there. Two weeks quickly.

So why am I writing about this now after being MIA - lost in the world of Oracle - for more months than I can recall?

Because I learned something from Peyton (something big) and writing about it will help me explain.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"He's just a dog."

You can't say that to me. So don't.

They're not people - I realize that - but 'just a dog' doesn't apply to these furry little friends we welcome into our lives.

You understand if you know a dog like Gromit. If you don't know, just stay quiet about it. Please.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As you might imagine, I struggled with how to respond to our neighbors' loss. I imagined what to say. But it was impossible, I always dissolved into tears. Not helpful. And so frustrating.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Maybe you know this already, if so, good on ya. I'm a slow learner but I've been noodling on this particular issue for a long time and Peyton finally helped me understand.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Here's the lesson: Part of being strong for other people is letting them feel their grief without making it about YOU. I can mourn Peyton without making it about me. Their sadness is more important than whatever I'm feeling and I need to be strong, especially around their children.

While I share in their sadness over the loss of Peyton, there is no way I can comprehend what they're feeling. And crying is not a helpful response. Being warm and supportive is. That's the lesson from Peyton.

Be strong for people who are experiencing pain. When you cry, it transfers the focus away from them and over to you. It is perhaps one of the most selfish things you can do in that situation.

That's what I learned from Peyton, the sweet fluffy neighbor dog who died way too early.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: Hawaii 5-0, the TV show
I am reading: With reading glasses now, so irritating
And I am: A slow learner

Cuddly-Wuddly Christ

2010-12-17T12:02:00.003-06:00

My good friend Dave at Rather Than Working requested an appearance of our Cuddly Wuddly Savior for the holiday season or Christmas season or Saturnalia or whatever you use as an excuse to eat/drink too much in December.

So here he is.

Realizing that I'm way overdue for any sort of meaningful update, it's my goal to spend time on this between the holidays.

It's not as if I'm not thinking about the typical stuff - why this and how this and WTF that - but my life is consumed with this new job. The folks closest to me know and (mostly) understand why I've had to go underground for the past 2 months. For the rest of you - deep, heartfelt apologies for not being more available lately. Everyone here says things will slow down in six months.

We'll see.

In the meantime, happy holidays and stay warm. Love & hugs,

Hedy
~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: A conference call
I am reading: Stieg Larsson - The Girl Who Kicked the Something or Other (these are awesome stories if you haven't checked them out already)
And I am: Busier than a whore on nickel night (Thanks, Google!)

Good Things Friday

2010-11-05T08:50:00.001-05:00

Da has 100% blood flow in the post-surgery leg
And no pain
He's back doing yard work and going to the gym
It's fabulous
Started my new job this week
It is amazing and crazy and interesting
I think I will love it
It was so hard leaving my old job
But I've gained 3 hours of my life now that I'm not commuting every day
I can work from home 100% of the time
But am on the train today
Feels good knowing I have options
And I will work closely with my friend Scott
Jim started his new job too
We are both zombies each night
But it's good for both of us to get out of our comfort zones
There is a giant man sitting across from me today
He's wearing chef pants
They're black/white small checked
They look comfy
The only reason I'd go to cooking school
Would be to wear the pants
I do NOT have to take the bus anymore
My new office is a 2 minute walk from Union Station
"Two weeks from today, baby!"
Got a new Mac Book Pro
It's beautiful
Instead of a 1.5 hour commute every morning
I'm using that time to work out
Every day this week
I feel fabulous
Our good friend Steve's knee replacement surgery went very well
And he's coming home from the hospital today
Judy stopped in Tuesday night after the hospital and it was lovely catching up finally
Laughed with my Mom on the phone this morning
These are the best moments of my days
Halloween was fun - I think I had more fun finding my costume (Mrs. Frankenstein) and dressing up than actually going to the party
Lunch with Jim the IT guy today
Dinner with the You Know Who's tonight
I'm unbelievably blessed
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: Prince - Little Red Corvette
I am reading: Nothing
And I am: Happy

Good Things Friday – Full Poop Edition

2010-10-15T08:43:00.002-05:00

“Do you know anyone looking for a marketing position?”

That’s how it started.

Almost two months ago. With a call from my good friend Scotty.

“I’m sure there’s somebody I know…let me think about it,” I replied.

I referred two people to him.

Then, in a subsequent conversation with him, the topic turned to me – what I was doing and more importantly, what I wanted to do.

“I’m happy,” I said. “I love it here. I love the work, I love the people.”

“Just talk to him,” said Scotty. “It can’t hurt.”

It didn’t hurt. In fact, it felt great.

I’ve always really enjoyed interviewing (I’m kinda mental that way) but this was something more – to be talking about what I do with a Great and Powerful Technology Company. It was pretty amazing.

“You should know there’s another candidate,” said Scotty.

It was mostly phone interviews – with the VP I’d be reporting to and a handful of people who would be my counterparts across the U.S. One interesting thing: They’ve all been with the company more than 7 years. So once they work there, they stay – which speaks volumes about their business and how they treat employees.

I kept telling myself: What’s the worst thing that’ll happen? I don’t get the job and I get to stay at the company I love? What’s to lose?

But the more I thought about it, the more I wanted it.

I’d never worked for a company with more than 800 employees. This company has more than 80,000. I’d be working alongside Scotty, which was always fun and creative and cool. I’d be focused on one product line, only one aspect of marketing (live seminars and events) and one region.

Then there were the soft benefits. Work from home 100% of the time. A nice salary boost. Plus, I’m 43. Jim is 50. We’re in our prime holy-fuck-we-gotta-retire-eventually earning years and working for (and retiring from) a company like this makes a big difference.

Did I mention the work from home thing? Only genuine dog lovers will truly understand this, but Grommie is 10 years old. Having the option to be home with him as he gets older and needs us more is very important.

Yes, important enough to make a life-changing career move.

I started really wanting it. Really. Wanting. It.

As it turns out, they wanted me, too.

I start November 1.

I’m sad to be leaving the melty chocolate chip cookie place, but it’s a good decision for my family and my career.

It’s good for me, too.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Other good things
Jim got a new job too
He starts the same day I do
Different place
Crazy
I keep thinking of all the things I can do with the extra 3 hours I’ll have each day
Not commuting
Yes, it's 1.5 hours each way
Working out is #1 on that list
We’re loving the new show Outsourced
“You treat my country like a cash register.”
And
“We call shirts like that wife-beaters in the U.S.”
“Ironic, since I do not have a wife to beat.”
I imagine there are people who do not find humor in a show about outsourced jobs to India
It bothers me
But not enough to stop watching it
And Big Bang Theory
Such an outstanding cast
Barefoot Shiraz is fucking awesome
Especially with Pizza Rolls
Yeah Pizza Rolls and wine for dinner last night
Shaddap, it was good
Makes me think of my very good friend DewMama
Had yet ANOTHER fantastic weekend in Lake Geneva
With Mr. & Mrs. You Know Who
Painted their shed
Long, lovely boat ride
The fall colors were magnificent
Watched the sunset from the boat for the first time
Then I woke up early to watch the sunrise over the lake
Listened to bantering fisherman, gathered in five or so boats near the dock
And this (just before they shot off in different directions across the lake)
“It’s smallmouth today. Everything is legal, boys. Be back here at 1.”
There was comfort in their language
I really wanted to be them for the next six hours
Then Mrs. YKW met me at the dock and we went for a long walk along the lake path It was one of the best, most relaxing weekends in recent memory
Took away all the tension of giving notice on Monday
“If I’d known she was looking, I would’ve offered her a job myself.”
The Oatmeal
www.kiva.com
The “hide” option on Facebook
My new cargo pants from Target
Super comfy and cute
“I love you and our ability to be honest with one another; and I wouldn’t trade that for anything.” - Judy
Made me smile, made my day
Jim and I are doing dinner and a movie tonight
It’s been too long
Tomorrow we’re going to All Dressed Up to look for costumes
For a Halloween/50th birthday party
I am thinking about resurrecting Bride of Frankenstein
Or Wicked Witch of the East
Although Little Red Riding Hood was fun too
(If you click the link you can see the cape I wore)
Discovered a spot even closer to Union Station for catching the #11 bus
It’s great
Just in time to not need it anymore
Oh well
“If the only prayer you ever say in your whole life is ‘thank you,’ that would suffice.” - Meister Eckhart
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: Cowboy Junkies - Misguided Angel
I am reading: My offer letter packet
And I am: Excited and no longer crazy

Good Things Friday - Running with Coffee Edition

2010-10-08T09:15:00.002-05:00

Well you didn’t wake up this morning
‘Cause you didn’t go to bed
You were watching the whites of your eyes turn red
The calendar on your wall is ticking the days off…
You’ve been reading some old letters
You smile and think how much you’ve changed
All the money in the world
Couldn’t buy back those days
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Remember that crazy awesome thing I mentioned a few weeks back?
It’s finally happening
And while I still can’t let fly with the details just yet
(There are certain people who need notifying)
Next Friday you’ll get the Full-on Poop
I discovered voice dial on my iPhone
No set up, no recording/assigning names
Just say the stinkin’ contact
And it automagically dials
So much safer whilst driving
Had the kick-off meeting last night for the woop-di-do spring charity event
For The Enterprising Kitchen
This is selfish but I think you’ll understand
Doing this sort of thing is addictive
Not necessarily because of the difference it makes to the women we serve
(Although that is the goal obviously)
But because it makes me feel really, really good
Rather than draining my energy
It makes me want to do more
Oh God I looked over the shoulder of a guy reading the Trib
And those idiots endorsed Mark Kirk
The guy who ‘misremembered it wrong’ on key parts of his military career
Bread and circuses
(panem et circenses)
One of my favorite phrases
I’ll be so glad when the elections are over
Anyhow
I love watching people running with coffee to catch the train
It’s a herky-jerky sort of walk-run
That involves keeping the cup-holding side immobile
So glad I don’t run with coffee
There are myriad reasons why I might appear ridiculous on any given day
But that ain’t one of them
Had lunch with my good friend Jeff the IT Guy Tuesday
He works in the city now
And yes, I have Jeff the IT Guy and Jim the IT Guy
("Fuck you, cheater." - Jim the IT Guy)
There's also Andy the IT Guy, but we only talk via IM occasionally
This company I’m at now doesn’t have an IT Guy
We outsource to a team of IT Guys in Wisconsin
I don’t know their names
They are not my friends
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You could’ve done anything if you’d wanted
And all your friends and family
Think that you’re lucky
But the side of you they never see
Is when you’re left alone with the memories
That hold your life together like glue
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jim ‘n me had a city date this week at Uno’s
It’s not like the chain Uno’s
It’s the original
It is better, more authentic
Jim has been going there for 30+ years
I’ll never forget the first time he took me there
He dished out the salad for me
It was one of those moments
Like PING
The cynical among you might chalk it up to Date Behavior
But he still does it
Even at home
We are helping the You Know Who’s paint their awesome new shed this weekend
I love love LOVE doing projects with friends/family
There’s something about it that is unbelievably satisfying and fun
Folks just don’t do that sort of thing much any more
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You pull back the curtains
And the sun burns into your eyes
You watch a plane flying
Across a clear blue sky
This is the day
Your life will surely change
This is the day
When things fall into place
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: The The – This is The Day
I am reading: The Bookseller of Kabul
And I am: Fucking awesome

Good Things Friday - Figuring It Out Edition

2010-10-01T09:35:00.002-05:00

It is a gorgeous autumn day
I’m wearing my favorite suede jacket
And a whore scarf
Eh, fuck it
I’m seriously not in the mood for good things today
I am sad because it seems like the people who hate
(the people who are stupid and cruel and loud)
Are winning lately
Like the student who broadcast over the Internet
His roommate making out with a guy
Three days later
The roommate jumped off a bridge, killing himself
Okay this is helping
The miracle of writing things down
Brings clarity
What happened was mean and heartbreaking and so not necessary
But the kid didn’t have to kill himself
And I wonder
How a healthy gay man who doesn’t feel any shame
Over who he is, how he was born
Would respond
Get angry and call a lawyer?
Laugh it off?
“Sure the camera added 10 pounds – to my cock.”
LOL
Certainly, homosexuality is less taboo than ever
It’s never been more acceptable – even cool in some cases – to be gay
And I am so not siding with the idiots who did this
But where did that shame come from?
From his parents?
Siblings?
Friends?
Himself?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And when do you respond to unspeakable cruelty by hurting yourself and your family?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
[This is me, putting my perceptions on him]
Maybe I’m totally wrong
Maybe he was not shamed over being gay and outed on the Internet
Maybe it was the horror of being broadcast during an intimate moment
Regardless of the gender of his partner
Maybe
I hope
I really hope
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: In Heaven There is No Beer
I am reading: The Bookseller of Kabul
And I am: Feeling a little better now

Good Things Friday - Late Edition

2010-09-24T17:54:00.003-05:00

I am having crazy dreams

About midgets

And spinning houses

Not at all Wizard of Ozzy

Although it does feel like I'm not in Kansas any more lately

Good things are happening

But not fast enough

And it's stressing me a bit

Which is prolly why I'm fighting a virus this week

I'm wearing very comfy cargo pants from Target

And my favorite hoodie from the Grand Wailea

This hoodie from Snorg Tees

Made me laugh out loud just now

Which I found from Googling how to spell "hoodie"

So here's a crazy story that is not at all related to the current primary craziness:

I work for a company that builds e-commerce sites

My favorite cousin Chris has disowned the entire family

No one really knows or understands why

But he hasn't spoken to any of us for going on three years now

And when Da had surgery two weeks ago, Chris' mom (my aunt, Da's sister)

Was there with us at the hospital and we talked about it

I know Chris was close with his brothers and sisters

But we've always been super-duper-pooper close

So Aunt Sheri and I are probably the people most hurt by this strange turn of events

Anyhow

It was a good talk

Flash forward to the Sunday following Da's surgery (four days later)

I'm poking around in Salesforce.com, our company database, looking at recent activity

Via a new Twitter-like feature called Chatter

And there's my cousin's wife

In our fucking database

Working for a potential client

With whom we've been meeting for three weeks

To possibly do their web site project

And

Get this

She was scheduled to visit our office the next day

THE NEXT DAY

It was pretty crazy, seeing Chris' wife in my office

And by the look on her face, she was surprised to see me too

I should mention they live in Michigan, last time we heard

And I live in Illinois

I will not editorialize on the 20 minute conversation we had

At her request

After the meeting

[Writing, struggling, writing, deleting, struggling, finally choosing to not say anything]

It appears we've won the business

For now

It is interesting how the Universe works, though, isn't it?

On the phone with Mudder right now

Everybody's doing great

"I've gotta get rid of this scar because I'm an exotic dancer." - Da

LMAO

~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am listening to: Mudder

I am reading: Not much

And I am: A little sleepy

Midget rapist

2010-09-21T07:49:00.000-05:00

"I had a dream I was attacked by a midget rapist."

"Midget isn't correct, they're called little people now."

"He was a rapist. Little people don't rape. Midgets rape."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: Stairway to Heaven
I am reading: Not much
And I am: Having some freaky dreams lately

Good Things Friday - Crazy Edition

2010-09-02T20:47:00.001-05:00

The Universe has thrown me a bit of curveball

And as of this moment it's heading out of the park

But we'll see

Nothing is certain yet

Gromit, barking at his big pile of barf in the yard

Wednesday night

To let me know he'd been sick

Classic, amazing, smarty pants dog

Jim's garden is bursting with tomatoes

I found the perfect color nail polish

It's by Ulta and it's called Lavendering or something

It's an awesome purple

I am watching The Devil Wears Prada

There is an amazing thunder storm outside

Jim comes home from Australia tomorrow

I miss him

But it's been a pretty good week

Quiet

Relaxing

A slower pace than usual

The Pillars of the Earth mini series was pretty good

The main character - Tom the Builder - was weak

But otherwise worth watching

Mrs. You Know Who came to get tomatoes today

And checked on Grommie for me

And brought me an awesome yummy dinner

I am unbelievably blessed

~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am listening to: Rainy night

I am reading: Outlander - Book II

And I am: A little crazy

Good Things Friday - Mobile Edition

2010-08-27T06:40:00.001-05:00

Who knows how this'll come out
I'm on the train
Typing this from my phone
Da's bladder scan was cancer-free again
Now he goes for them every six months instead of quarterly
Quitting cigarettes was the best thing
A lovely drunken dinner at the You Know Who's Saturday night
You know you're good friends when you can talk about anal for nearly an hour
And it wraps up with "Fine. Tonight. Wash."
Speaking of anal, Mr. YKW's deep dive pooper scan was all clear
The jokes on that medical event alone were totally worth the price of admission
So to speak
The Bristol Tap with Judy and Steve Wednesday night
I was super tired from work but thought "we should take every chance we get to be with the people we love"
I am changing the way I think
Tall Ships with the You Know Who's last night
My company's new web site launched early Monday morning
Worked all day Saturday
It felt really really good doing that
The content management system (SilverStripe) is making my life much easier
And fuck .NET Nuke
I'll never use that shit again
I am changing the way I do things
I was never an early bird
Always a late worm
But lately I'm really loving being up and in before everyone else
Less traffic
Fewer people on the train
And I get more done
Also learning that my posture reflects my mood
And simply by pushing my shoulders back and sitting up straight, I feel better
Jim leaves for Sydney Saturday
I love him
But I can't wait for a little quiet alone time
We have a ton of tomatoes from Jim's garden
Unbelievably good BLT's
Or just cut up with a little salt
I am watching people running to catch the train
Glad I'm not them
At Naperville, the train conductor walked over to say hi to two little kids in the back seat of a car dropping off a commuter
The kids grinned and laughed and squirmed in their seats
Something special about trains and little ones
I don't have my laptop this morning because I left it at the office
Knowing it would be a late night and I wouldn't need it
I like not having it
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: Train sounds
I am reading: Outlander book 2
And I am: Ready

Good Things Friday - Friday Edition

2010-08-20T08:25:00.002-05:00

Had an incredible time with the P's, who returned home Monday
What a blessing those two are
Had an incredible time with Jim in the city last Thursday/Friday
Willis (Sears) Tower SkyDeck
Double decker bus tour
Sea Dog boat ride
Dinner
Air & Water show practice day
An awesome 36-hour vacation in Chicago
Went to the Batavia Fart in Your Eye festival with Mom on Saturday
For about 30 minutes
The heat was suffocating
So we bought some pottery and left
So many of my friends/family donated to The Enterprising Kitchen
Very cool
Dinner with the You Know Who's Wednesday night at the Gazebo in Geneva
A nice place - good food, great outdoor view on the Fox River
Horrible mosquitos
I have mastered potato salad
Date night last night
It was a hot August night 20 years ago
When we went on our first 'date'
'Date' = the co-workers who were supposed to meet us didn't show
Mysteriously
And that night changed my life
So I celebrated with a Long Island Iced Tea
Which was horrible
But the rest of the night was lovely
Heading out to the Sycamore Speedway
For a little Redneck Racing
Can't wait
And finally, I figured out the best response to that infernal "Why don't you have children?" question:
~~It's none of your fucking business~~
"Oh, I don't know, why did you HAVE children?"
See?
The folks most interested in why we're not having children
Are the same people who spent little time considering why they should have children

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: Train - Drops of Jupiter
I am reading: Outlander - awesome series
And I am: Fabulous

Good Things Friday – Thursday Edition

2010-08-12T08:35:00.002-05:00

Jim’s coming to the city today – I leave the office at noon
And then we’re tourists for the next 36 hours
Double decker bus tour
Glass balcony at Willis Tower
Maybe a bike ride
A little bit of Navy Pier
A boat ride on Lake Michigan
An overnight stay
Then tomorrow morning, we’re on the beach watching the practice day for the Chicago Air & Water Show
BIG HUGE GINORMOUS HUGS
Plus heartfelt thanks to all of my friends and family who helped out The Enterprising Kitchen
I always knew I had awesome friends but your support has been overwhelming and I’m beyond grateful
The new iPhone arrived this week
It is zippity-do-da FAST
Still drops calls like a motherfucker
But I don’t talk much on the damn thing anyhow
Multi-tasking is very nice
Had an awesome Sunday with Judy & Steve, my P's and the You Know Who's
Cookout, pool, a little pig and dog basketball and lots of laughs
It's cool because my P's say we're blessed with great friends
And our friends say we're blessed with great P's
Speaking of great P's: Mom & Da are still here!
They've stayed nearly three weeks and like Mom says:
It’s been one of the best vacations EVER
Went to the Bristol Tap with them last night
Followed by Turtle Sundaes at Oberweis
We haven’t spent this much time together since summers during college
It’s been lovely and I will cry (a lot) when they leave
Have a great weekend people, stay cool
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: Steal My Sunshine - Len
I am reading: Outlander series
And I am: Excited

Good Things Friday - Lesbian Dinosaur Edition

2010-08-06T09:14:00.003-05:00

I just ate a banana
It was fabulous
And not at all sexy
Speaking of sexy, though, Jim 'n me celebrated 12 years of marriage last night
Went to Gibson's, as is our tradition
And ran into Lou Piniella in the bar
He's really a sweetheart
He let us buy him a drink
Grey Goose Martini with regular olives
We did not get autographs/pictures
Just couldn't do it
Because a) we're not true Cubs fans (being geeks and all)
and b) I'm not a huge fan of asking people I don't know for things
Speaking of asking for things
I really need your help
I'm on the board of The Enterprising Kitchen, a fabulous non-profit organization here in Chicago
We hire motivated, low-income women who have had difficulty finding employment to produce soaps, spa products, and gift baskets. Most importantly, we provide job, computer, and life skills training during their 6 months in the program as we strive to place them in permanent jobs elsewhere.
That's their pitch, btw
But here's the key point: Harris Bank has offered to match every donation made in the month of August
So contact me if you'd like to make a donation
And if you don't have my contact info, just leave a comment here and we'll figure it out
What I like most about The Enterprising Kitchen is that it's actually helping improve the lives of real women
Providing education and training so they can find work
And we all know the value of educating women
Plus it's a LOCAL charity - for those of you who complain about how much people need help right here in the United States, this is your chance to help out
Mom 'n Da are here and it's awesome
It's been great, soaking up all this day-to-day stuff I don't get because I live far away
We're going to North Aurora Days tonight for the emergency vehicle parade
Always a hoot
Had a glorious time in Lake Geneva last weekend with the P's and the You Know Who's
My new favorite joke: What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Lickalottapus
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: Sugar Ray - When It's Over
I am reading: Dragonfly in Amber by Diana G.
And I am: Relaxed

Good Things Friday - Trashy Novel Edition

2010-07-30T09:15:00.002-05:00

Mom & Da are here
So I'm soaking of the 'everyday-ness' of it
Since I don't get to see them this much ever
It's lovely and relaxing
"If we were any more relaxed we'd be dead." - Da
I'm reading Outlander by Diana Gabaldon
It's a totally trashy historical novel
About a time traveling WW2 nurse
And a kilt-wearin' Scot named Jamie
It's short on history and long on trashy
With lots of thrusting and bodices and dirks and whathaveyou
Can't imagine what I'd do if some charming 18th century Scottish brut asked me to meet him in the stables at noon
Who the hell am I kidding?
I know exactly what I'd do
SlimFast Rich Chocolate Royale is delicious
Went to dinner with the You-Know-Who's Wednesday night
Ordered my new iPhone
It'll be here August 18
Sold my Mac Air
The check will go towards an iPad
Attended my very first board meeting Tuesday night
And immediately wished I'd paid more attention to the parliamentary procedures part
Of whatever that class was in high school
I remember someone I didn't know very well
Calling it parli-pro
And thinking a) she's such a smarty pants and b) Woop di freakin' do
Anyhow it's never too late to regret something you did (or didn't do) in high school
Dave's column on immigration law at Rather Than Working
It's fantastic
Because no one ever talks about the employers hiring "illegals"
And why don't we have a disparaging/vaguely racist name for them?
Went to Corbin's 50th birthday party last Friday
People wore crazy 70s costumes
I'd forgotten about the white tube socks with stripes
And the curling iron induced 'flip' hairdo
"If it doesn't make sense, it's probably not true."
Finding new music from my cousins via Facebook
Like this one: The Conversation
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: Conversations about projects
I am reading: About Jamie the hot highlander
And I am: Relaxed

Good Things Friday - Bending the Truth Edition

2010-07-23T08:47:00.002-05:00

Susie was here for a long weekend - it was lovely, catching up and shopping and laughing
Discovered a new cheap yet delicious wine: Barefoot Shiraz ($5 at Walmart)
Delicious
Got an owl necklace similar to this one for $3.80 at Forever 21
Never would've gone in there if it weren't for Susie
Managed to escape without feeling old
Mom & Da are coming this weekend
Life is just good when they're here
Corbin's big 50th birthday party is tonight
It's a 70s theme party
I don't have a costume
But I'm going braless
The only fitting tribute to that decade I can muster
Since I was in elementary school for most of it
Made employee of the week again on Monday
It was surprising since I felt like I was just doing my job
But it's nice regardless
Jim and I went to the Blackberry Inn Wednesday night
Then a long, zippy drive on the farm roads west of town
It was awesome
It's like pushing the reset button on my soul
Sold my MacBook Air last night via Gazelle
Enough cash to get an iPad
Feel pretty confident in my stance that starting a business relationship (hell, any relationship) with a lie is not good
And have given up arguing the point
Although it is unbelievably disappointing, given the people with whom I'm arguing
Sometimes it's more powerful to be quietly right
I've taken to drinking SlimFasts in the morning
Having something, anything for breakfast is good for you
I knew this, but it was Susie who reminded me
And I am better for it
As I always am, after her visits
She is the one who suggested breast reduction surgery years ago
She helps with learning how to shop
"Look at the price tag before you like it too much."
"Go to the sale racks first."
Anyhow, have a good weekend people and try to be kind (and honest) with each other
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: I'm Yours - Jason Mraz
I am reading: Outlander by Diana Gaboldan or something
And I am: Disappointed

GTF - Sweating Like a Whore in Church Edition

2010-07-15T23:50:00.002-05:00

It's hot
And I am not complaining
Because soon it will be nasty cold again
But I am sweating like a whore in church lately
Which happens to be one of my most favorite sayings
Went to the Kane County Fair Wednesday night
This is not a particularly good thing - it was quite lame
But it's given me a whole new appreciation
For the best county fair on the planet
The uber-fair if you will (and I know you will)
The Sandwich Fair
It's not some suburban bullshit asphalt fair-poser show
Speaking of bullshit
Penn & Teller's Bullshit show is good clean fun
I don't always agree with them - sometimes they're just maniacally wrong
But still, it's entertainment
The Pillars of the Earth is a series on Starz starting one week from today
It's one of my all time favorite books
I'm quite certain the movie will disappoint as most books-turned-to-mini-series do
Still, I will watch a bit
Susie is coming for her annual visit tomorrow
We will shop, sun, shop, sun and drink a little
It is good
Speaking of old friends - Corbin's 50th birthday is next weekend
Jim 'n me are going to All Dressed Up for 70s costumes
I would like to be a Disco queen
Had a fantastic time in Lake Geneva with the You Know Who's and Judy & Steve
There's something very special about swimming in Lake Geneva (or Geneva Lake as it's called)
I got a haircut last night
Here's hoping we vanquished the Billy Ray Cyrus mullet
If you haven't seen Don't Mess with the Zohan, rent it immediately
It is outstanding fun but you have to watch it more than once to really catch everything
Mom & Da are coming to town very soon
Can't wait for that
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: Quiet house
I am reading: Nothing right now
And i am: Sleepy

Good Things Friday

2010-07-09T07:03:00.000-05:00

This song from Zack & Miri Make a Porno
It came up on a Genius mix from Sugar Ray's Fly
Fabulous sunny day song
My eye (MY EYE!) is slowly getting better
It's no longer got that raped/beaten look to it, just beaten
Had lunch at Dairy Queen in the South Loop last week
It was way better than I imagined
Jim's friend Tom was here twice in the past two weeks
He's a good soul
Jim & Tom were playing guitars in the basement last night
They did that 30+ years ago in Jim's parents' basement too
Wish You Were Here was quite good
Had a PB&J sammich for dinner last night
My umbrella makes me happy
The Poetry Foundation is building its new headquarters up the street from my office
Jim and I had an awesome city date Wednesday night - nice long walk on the beach followed by dinner
Made reservations for our anniversary dinner yesterday
"You have no power here! Be gone, before somebody drops a house on you, too!"
Looking forward to Corbin's 50th birthday bash - 70's style
Need to find costumes for this
I want to be a disco queen
Eric called earlier this week to thank for the visit
It was good to hear his voice
Disk Inventory X is a great tool
Weeded the whole front yard last Saturday
Very satisfying work
Jim got a flag and red/white/blue bunting for the front porch for the Fourth
It looked great
Now we have a list of dates to put up the flag
I am looking forward to this responsibility
I like the word 'bunting'
It can mean so many things
Finished watching the A&E mini series Pride & Prejudice
Soooo good after reading the book
We watched the movie Taken with Liam Neeson night before last
Actually quite good
It was a relatively intelligent thriller type movie
With no particularly disappointing moments
I recommend it
Susie will be here one week from tomorrow
YAY
For our annual long weekend of drinking, shopping and sunning
I am looking forward to at least one long, cramp-inducing belly laugh
Another lovely summer tradition
Cried as I finished the book The Help
It is just fantastic
And to think all of that happened just 50 years ago
Crazy
The bus arrived just as I reached the stop Wednesday morning
It's been a good week for public transportation
A Persian cab driver said to me yesterday: "Who came up with work like a dog? Doggies don't work. In my country, it's work like a donkey. Much better."
I couldn't agree more
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: Len - Steal My Sunshine
I am reading: Just finished The Help - awesome book
And I am: Sleepy

Good Things Friday - Peacocky Edition

2010-07-01T23:28:00.001-05:00

A peacock lived across the street from us when we were little kids
It was sort of a mini-farm with a couple of ponies, too
And other small animals I can't recall
Mom told us the peacock was saying "My Eye! My Eye!" when it would make its loud peacocky noises at night
Yesterday morning I woke up with a huge gross broken blood vessel in my eye (My Eye!)
It aches a little
My official story is "You should see the other c*nt."
Thanks to Jim the IT Guy for that one
I'm still laughing over the fact that I'm c*nt #1 in this 2-c*nt scenario
Peacocky
Eric is here again - another 24 hour visit on his way home from his cross-country road trip
He's got a lot of great stories about his trip
Mostly involving women of all walks who really like dirty, rough-looking biker dudes
Including at least one 80-ish chick
Eric reminded me that (at the house across from the peacock) we pressed our hands into the fresh cement floor of the barn
Built by Da and other family members back in the mid-70's
I forgot about that
He went there and showed it to the home's new owner
And said "That's my hand, I'm Eric"
Very cool
Saw a couple of satellites while looking up at the stars last night
By the fire
It was a very good night
A young person blew a stop sign and my dad was in a car accident yesterday afternoon - he's okay, just very sore
And pissed off that his car is totaled
Why is this good news?
Because he's okay
It could've been way worse
I was nominated to the board of a local charity
It was kinda cool - they actually read my resume and liked it
My resume is updated for 2010
It feels good but is rather odd since I'm used to updating it when I'm looking for a new job
Which I'm not
My boss told the team in our status on Monday that the company is at 83% of our revenue goal for the year
It's likely we'll be at 100% by the end of July
The rest of the year is big fat icing on a rather delicious and fun cake
So yes, still warm and yummy feelings for my job after two years (on June 18)
Speaking of cake, it feels like I'm losing weight
Happens every summer
More moving, less eating
Finished reading Pride & Prejudice last week
Such a fabulous story - and so very laugh out loud funny
Off to breakfast with Eric now
Have I mentioned he's awesome?
Have a great holiday weekend, everyone
And remember with all the fireworks, food and fun
Living here with all this glorious freedom is a privilege, not a right
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: Collective Soul - The World I Know
I am reading: Nothing right now but contemplating the Outlander series
And I am: So happy and relaxed I could cry

This moment

2010-06-30T00:52:00.006-05:00

"Do you know this song? It's Jason Mraz. I have the album," says my brother Eric.

We're out to dinner at a local fest last Friday and the band is playing I'm Yours, one of my absolute favorite songs of 2009.

It is, in this moment, that I realize (again) how much we have in common. And yet we are so completely disconnected and distant.

More my fault than his - I moved away after all. But it is painful to consider all the vast richness of day-to-day everything I am missing, being so far away. And not just with him, but with my parents as well.

This makes me unbelievably sad.

However. It's never too late, right? Eric and me, we're off to a good start and I think (I hope) to find this re-acquainting process easier than we imagined.

This makes me happy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: A quiet house
I am reading: Sister Carrie - T. Dreiser
And I am: Hopeful

Good Things Friday

2010-06-25T09:08:00.003-05:00

My brother Eric is coming to visit today
I am sitting on the screened porch with Gromit
The sun is shining and there is a lovely breeze
Had a great time at Swedish Days last night
The new Chianti beer garden is perfect
I am totally lost in the novel Pride & Prejudice
Had a GREAT time with Nelson & Kyra last weekend
Cleaned the front porch last Sunday
It was a complete wreck - cobwebs, dirt, bleh
Now it's much better
Nelson introduced me to the game Angry Birds for the iPhone
It's fabulous silly fun
I love it when the pigs laugh at me for missing them
(You slingshot various types of angry birds at laughing pigs in glass and wood structures)
It sounds crazy but it's very good
Had Cheerios for breakfast
Two highly recommended movies: Zombieland and Tropic Thunder
This enlightening article on Stan McChrystal, which got him fired
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: The Fray - All at Once
I am reading: P&P by J. Austen
And I am: Fine

Good Things Friday – Cautionary Tale Edition

2010-06-17T20:37:00.002-05:00

“Do you want me to tell you what I told everyone at work or what really happened?”
“Well that’s intriguing. Both please.”
I can’t provide any more detail on this but it is one HELL of a story and a cautionary tale for our time
It’s the perfect illustration of a man showing his true character in the face of some horrifyingly self-induced adversity
My brother Eric will be here one week from today
This really is my favorite season because of all the friends/family that visit
Nelson was here last weekend for his annual trip
Nelson AND Kyra are here this weekend
Nelson is my oldest friend (who I stay in touch with/see regularly)
I don’t know why it’s so important
But we did meet in third grade
Which is why this ridiculous article from the NY Times on the end of best friends makes me want to puke on my shoes
These ass-tards are keeping scads of little Nelsons and Heathers from a lifetime of laughs, comfort and fun
It’s tragic
Back to good things
Speaking of old friends visiting, Susie booked her flight this week
We are doing the annual long weekend of sunning/shopping/boozing in July
Tom Cruise was on the MTV Movie Awards
He did his Tropic Thunder dance as Les Grossman live on the stage
It was fucking awesome
And (nearly) cancelled out his whole Oprah/couch dance thing
Last week is over
The worst trade show of my life
And that includes the time I dropped my mobile phone in the toilet at Oracle Open World
And not a damn thing I could do about any of it
In spite of that, we got 90+ solid leads
Hosted a webinar today with 75 more
Best webinar ever
So things are rolling along nicely
Got some rather lovely, unsolicited positive feedback from our new operations guy
And made Employee of the Week (2nd time this year – yay me)
Mike the Painter is here working on the deck
He already painted the floor of the balcony “porch gray”
And it looks exactly like I imagined it would
Perfect
Had dinner with Mr. & Mrs. You Know Who Tuesday night at the Blackberry Inn
Their jalapeno cheeseburger is burn-your-face-off fabulous
Plus, did a shot of Dr. McGillacuddy’s something or other with Mrs. YKW, the bartender and wait staff
“It’s an 8 o’clock tradition for all the women”
It tasted like peppermint gum
Yummy
Got to see Susan from Susan's Snippets Wednesday night
We are working on a project together and I really really like it
Got my nails done Monday night
Is it a bad thing to say a shop is “ethnic”?
Because it is
But I don’t know if it’s racist to say it
(Maybe I do know the answer but I’d like to hear it to confirm)
It’s ethnic in that everyone there except me is not white
And they like to do nails really really really long
With all sorts of funky designs and colors and shit
And I’m just this silly white chick
Who wants a simple, short French manicure once in awhile
I’m constantly fighting to get what I want there
To the point where I have gone back and said “Do over please, too long.”
The irony is, the guy who does my nails is named Long
He is Chinese but from Vietnam
What would you do?
Go somewhere else?
Stop being so picky?
STFU and stop being a racist prima donna?
Anyhow
I am reading Pride & Prejudice right now
It is delicious
It’s awesome and refreshing to just sit and read a book
And it makes me laugh out loud
Which is good for a book written
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: Ludacris – Get Back
I am reading: Jane Austen’s Price & Prejudice
And I am: Calm

Good Things Friday – Hmm Hmm Hmm Edition

2010-06-04T10:04:00.002-05:00

44 years ago today, Mom & Da got married
That’s a very long time to be with one person
But if anyone could do it, they could
I think the key to a good marriage mostly depends on having a good sense of humor
Sang the “Happy Anniversary” song to Mom this morning (out of tune)
“Thank you. I just got done singing it to your father.”
I’m not going to tell you what she said next
But it involves partial nudity
And a good sense of humor
It’s been a tough week at work
More stressful than the usual
Not because of anything I have control over
I guess that’s what makes it more stressful
The guy who looks like the eagle from The Muppet Show is sitting across from me on the train
He looks crabby and mean
And all I keep thinking is “Naked! People…under their clothes are NAKED! Birds…under their feathers…NAKED!”
One week from today I’ll be picking up Nelson from the airport
We drink, we laugh, we bitch, we listen to music, we hang by the pool, and we play Scrabble
Can’t wait
His annual visit always kicks off Official summer around here
Went to the original Ferrara Pan Candy family bakery on Taylor Street Wednesday
If you’ve ever had Lemonheads or
You know about them
It’s very cool
Jim was in Paris & Belgium this week
So I’ve been singing “There’s a place called France where the ladies where no pants…”
He gets home tomorrow
While I really enjoy the alone time, everything is better when he’s here
I am reading a fantastic book right now: Give the Lady What She Wants – The Story of Marshall Field & Company
It was written in 1952
Great history of Chicago and the guy who pretty much invented the money back guarantee
Anyhow who sells anything should read it
It’s about customer service and marketing and merchandising – fascinating
Plus the great Chicago Fire
Lots of old photos too
Got my teeth cleaned yesterday
And a haircut
Always feels good getting spiffed up
Found out the AP Stylebook is an iPhone app
It is very cool and makes writing press releases much easier
I watched the original Willie Wonka movie earlier this week
And I’ve had the song “Pure Imagination” in my head all week
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: Morning huddle for work
I am reading: Give the Lady What She Wants
And I am: Trying to get in tune Hmm Hmm Hmm

Good Things Friday – Monkey Balls Edition

2010-05-28T08:58:00.003-05:00

10 years ago today, Grommie dog was born
Best Dog Ever
I tell him all the time
It’s a beautiful day
The Veterans are out with their poppies
There’s a woman abusing herself with an eyelash curler a couple seats over on the train
Whatever gene it is that makes you wanna do extremely private stuff in public
I don’t have it
Thankfully
Well maybe I had it for a few indiscrete moments in college
But it was just a phase
Certainly not genetic
We’re having a Welcome to the Neighborhood Party
Tomorrow night
For our new neighbors Pam & Eric
We’ve invited a lot of neighbors that we don’t typically see
From all over the ‘hood
Should be fun
Ever walk into a store knowing you wanted something but not exactly what?
I got this small wallet phone holder thingie from Carson’s
It fits my phone perfectly
This is that something
The Hipstamatic camera app for my phone is fabulous and fun
I’m wearing the scarf I bought at Coldwater Creek
Shopping with Mom Mother’s Day weekend
I met with Adam yesterday
He’s the guy who built our web site
It’s going to be awesome
I haven’t been this happy about a new web site in 6 years
The content management system is called SilverStripe
And it’s fabulous
Way better than .Net Nuke
Which sucks hairy monkey balls
Yes
Hairy
Monkey-flavored
Ball sack
Anyhow
I bet when you woke up this morning
You didn’t expect to hear about hairy monkey balls
Did you?
The woman across from me (not the eyelash curler masochist)
Is wearing pink Converse tennis shoes
As cute as they are
Those shoes have never looked all that comfy to me
It’s Memorial Day weekend
All day yesterday it was “Are you coming in tomorrow?”
“Are you coming in tomorrow?”
“Are you coming in tomorrow?”
Hell yeah, I’m coming in tomorrow
I’d sure like to know when the day before a holiday weekend became part of the holiday
It never used to be that way
Our government is finally doing (sort of) the right thing
On Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell
If the most well-trained military organization on the planet
(The Israeli Army)
Doesn’t have a problem with it
Why should we?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: All-American Rejects – Swing Swing
I am reading: Press release for Internet Retailer conference
And I am: Sunny with a chance of monkey balls

Crisis

2010-05-25T23:11:00.002-05:00

"We are out of toilet paper."
"Does that mean I can't poop?"
"You can poop all you want. You just can't wipe."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: The fan on the MacBook
I am reading: Eh nothing good, too much worky
And I am: Glad I keep a secret stash

Good Things Friday – Loading the Truck Edition

2010-05-21T09:03:00.000-05:00

There’s a guy in a rented Bobcat
At the Aurora train station
Loading chunks of asphalt and concrete into a dump truck
It’s masterful
Jockeying the scoop under the pile to maximize the load
Carefully positioning it high over the truck bed
Followed by the drop and the quick flick to empty
Sometimes I wish for a job like that
Where at the end of the day I could say
I built this or
I moved that or
I loaded the truck
It’s date night
Me and Jim are going to dinner then IronMan 2
I can’t wait
Which after almost 20 years is pretty fucking cool
I know I say it a lot
Perhaps to the point of being irritating
But it is pretty fucking cool
Speaking of irritating
I finally got to drive myself to the train station today
After a long week of being shuttled by Jim because of car repairs
This made me extremely crabby
The good thing is
I realized my moods are directly related to
How often I work out
How much alone time I have
How much I have to rely on others
For anything
This is something to really think about as I get older
Celebrated Mr. You Know Who’s 50th birthday in Lake Geneva last weekend
Realized that all of my favorite bar moments involve Mr. YKW
“And the whore will have a Jack & Coke”
“You call your wife a whore?”
“Hell no, she’s not my wife”
AND
“Thank God you’re here, before you arrived the best looking broad in the joint was the one armed junkie whore sleeping on the bar”
We went to a special beer dinner with Mr. & Mrs. You Know Who and friends
Wednesday night
Sponsored by Leinenkugl
It was a fabulous gourmet meal that paired different beers with awesome crazy fun foods
We’re going to do it again next month for sure
There’s a car wash a block from our office
Fancy-schmancy cars in and out all day
Walking to lunch, someone was backing out post-wash
And I needed to wait on the sidewalk
For this small delay I got an amazingly open delightful grin
From an old gray-haired dude in a spanking new Mercedes
It was totally unexpected and made me smile right back
One of those fantastic, unplanned moments you share with a stranger
That stays with you
For days
I finally finally finally hired someone to do our web site
It’s what we do (build web sites for companies)
But I can never get our guys to do it for me
Which is good because we’re busy and profitable
But our web site really sucks ass
Which kills me
But not for too much longer
We got a new comforter set for our bed
It is awesome and soft and comfy
Plus it’s huge – I sleep better because now I’m not fighting for covers
If someone would invent a comforter to prevent snoring we’d be all set
The diner-type joint called Yolk at Wells & Chicago in River North
It’ll put you in a good mood no matter what
I bought a 2-terabyte drive on Amazon last night
To begin storing all the movies and TV shows I’m ripping
It’s such a fun project
Another fun project: Unsubscribing
In the past month I’ve unsubscribed from at least 50
Bullshit industry newsletters, email alerts and daily news bulletins
The ones I never read are gone
Which makes me more likely to read the ones that are truly valuable
“How many mee-nutes?”
That was the wrinkly old Italian dude waiting with me for the #11 bus yesterday
He saw me checking the schedule on my phone
It was cute how he smiled and asked
Then looking up and around, he said
“Chicago…is beautiful, yes?”
“Yes, it is. Are you visiting here?” I ask
“No, I live here 27 years. Beautiful,” he says
Yes it is
I wonder
How to make my job feel more like loading the truck
Simple
More meaningful
Because I realize it’s on me to do that
Every day it’s on me to look up and around
To find the beautiful
In what’s old and familiar
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: World Exploded into Love - B. Schneider
I am reading: Nothing
And I am: Loading the truck

Good Things Friday - Glitter in the Air Edition

2010-05-14T07:32:00.000-05:00

Pink - Glitter in the Air
My new favorite song right now
FANTASTIC, RELAXING, WONDERFUL time in Michigan for Mother's Day weekend
I love how talking to my Mom always brings clarity on a subject
Got my nails done tonight
It's such a simple, silly, girly thing but it makes me happy
I think it's mostly because at least one very small part of my existence feels 'done'
Ya know?
Watched the movie Elizabeth this week - it's really quite good
And it always rejuvenates my old crush on Joseph Fiennes
He's just plain old yummy
I appreciate the fact that we live in a neighborhood where I can leave a door open and be gone for more than an hour
There's a lovely cool breeze coming in through the doorwall
Gromit is snoring on the couch
And I'm ripping movies
Hoping to have all of our shit digitized by end of summer
I'm done beating myself up over silly mistakes
Spending the weekend in Lake Geneva with Mr. & Mrs. You Know Who to celebrate his 50th
It's going to be a blast
Any time I can play a semi-dirty word on Facebook Scrabble, I will, even if it means less points
Like 'anus'
Or 'tits'
The new iPhone comes out in June and I'm thinking I might be on it
The iPad is interesting - but I can't make calls from it and don't want another device to carry around
The ideal scenario: I'd be able to make calls from it and switch it with my iPhone whenever I don't feel like carrying the iPad around
Now that would be cool
The Logitech Universal Remote has saved our marriage
I'm dead serious
It is smarter than I am when it comes to getting our shit to do what I want it to do
"Is the DVD player on?"
"Did this help?"
It's amazing
I'm wearing my Obama 44 sweatshirt
It's very comfy
Although I always have reservations about wearing it in public
Like an angry teabagger will beat me up or something
I fantasize they'll say something like "Your shirt offends me"
And then I'll have the opportunity to say something like "Eat my ass, fucktard"
Or maybe I'll just smile and say "Your ignorance offends me, so let's call it even"
Something like that
Maybe
Maybe
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: Gromit snoring and the traffic on Randall
I am reading: This blog, which has some very interesting stuff about the founder of Facebook
And I am: Okay

Flying Cars & Potato Chips

2010-05-11T09:23:00.002-05:00

I use Google Reader on my iPhone.

Translation for non-geek types: Google (the search engine) also allows me to set up news preferences, automagically sending top stories from newspapers all over the world to my iPhone. This means I don’t have to visit every news site – I get it all in one place. It’s a quick, convenient way to get a snapshot of world news during my morning commute.

Anyhow. That’s not the point.

This morning I’m on the late train to work with Google reader, when I see this über-enticing item from the New York Times:

“The Moment You’ve Waited For”

OHHHHHHH.

Really? GREAT.

The flying car is finally here!
They’ve invented a potato chip that won’t make my ass fat(ter)!
They caught Osama Bin Laden!

These are the things that came to mind. In that order. Yep.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hedy, Hedy, Hedy.

Flying cars and potato chips? Really?

No world peace? No end to hunger and other global strife?

What sort of left wing liberal whore are you?

The sort that really wants a flying car and a potato chip RIGHT NOW, goddammit.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“What could it be?” I thought. “This magical moment for which we’ve all been waiting.”

Am I part of the group ‘all’? And what makes this thing so universally momentous?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Nope. And nope. Turns out it's a cool story but certainly not the moment I'VE personally been waiting for, to my utter disappointment and disgust.

It’s a story about this very cool photography project called A Moment in Time. Here's the explanation.

So what's the Moment You've Waited For? First thing that pops into your head. Go.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: A co-worker talking too much as usual
I am reading: Google Reader
And I am: Cold and damp

Good Things Friday - Detroit Edition

2010-05-07T17:57:00.002-05:00

Drove to Michigan this morning
There is something about being on the road
No agenda
No deadlines
Nobody really knows where I am
Just me singing in the car
I am writing this from Mom & Da's computer
Per a request from Dave @ Rather Than Working
It's thundering out now
"I have a real problem with my hearing."
"What are you going to do about that?"
"Heh?"
Kisses from Rudy dog
Mom gave us a fashion show of all the clothes she bought for the big Hawaii trip in November
Everything was amazing-bursting-green on the way here, like nature exploded
I wrote another scene from my screenplay on the way here
Being on the road does that
I had a great week at work
Got so much done
And the owner/president/my boss says we're ahead of projections for the year
Which is so cool - I forgot what it's like to be part of a thriving, growing too-busy-for words company
The song "Closer to Fine" by the Indigo Girls
My Mom's home made potato salad
My Mom's home made Navy cake
The thunder is shaking the house
'Beerfart' as a term of endearment
Sleeping in my old room tonight; the dreams are always amazing
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: The storm and humming Indigo Girls
I am reading: My own stuff for a change
And I am: Closer to fine

Good Things Friday – Magneto Edition

2010-04-30T09:50:00.002-05:00

Did my very first 5k last Sunday – walked 90% of it but it felt great

Like the very start of something wonderful

Next 5K is in May, then another in June

I’m wearing flip-flops today

Just had some Light & Fit yogurt – blueberry is best

Had a GREAT conversation with Da this morning

Belly laughed with him about an extremely heated political argument we had on Monday

It felt soooo good

I told him about the first time I ever heard the word ‘magneto’

I must’ve been about 6 or 7 and he was taking apart the lawn mower

And explaining all the different parts

I remember feeling like I really needed to hold on to that moment

And soak in everything

Like the little gray sponge in the air filter

Mom & Da are really enjoying his retirement

It’s fabulous

Jim comes home tomorrow from his annual spring European tour

He is not a rock star in the classic sense of the word

But very popular there nonetheless

He was in Basel, Switzerland for part of the trip

I like saying Basel

BaselBaselBaselBaselBasel

It feels good, you should try it.

Bah-zle

Magneto is a good word too

Magnetomagnetomagnetomagneto

I missed Jim but the house sure stayed clean this week

My good friend Jim the IT guy showed me how to digitize our DVDs

I’m halfway done ripping Season 3 of Six Feet Under

It’s a good project

He recommended MakeMKV for ripping DVDs – it’s fast and easy to use

And Plex Media Center for Mac for managing and viewing our whole digital library – music, tv shows, movies, photos, etc.

It’s pretty slick and I can’t wait to get it connected to everything

Been listening to Green Day’s American Idiot this week

It’s one of those rare albums you can listen to all the way through

So much poetry, so much intensity

Really captured the Bush/Cheney era

I watched this Butterfinger commercial 30 times last night

Could not stop laughing

Something about the sound the phone makes when it hits his forehead

Awesome

Had a great week at work

Selected our new corporate logo/brand

Next up is the web site re-launch and exhibit booth

After 20 years of doing this stuff I still get excited about it

There’s a man on the corner of Wacker & Washington who says

“Have a blessed day”

To everyone during the morning and evening rush

It’s our dear friend Judy’s last day at the firehouse today

She’s going off on an exciting new adventure after 14 years there

I’m a big proponent of shaking things up and going on adventures every so often

We’re wishing her nothing but the best

~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am listening to: Green Day – American Idiot

I am reading: Nothing

And I am: BaselBaselBaselBaselMagneto

Good Things Friday - Only If I Have to Edition

2010-04-23T12:40:00.002-05:00

This morning I opened a yogurt and SPLAT - it shot out all over my chest.

Not as sexy as it sounds.

Seriously.

Then I opened an orange juice - same thing.

By 10 a.m. I looked like I'd been rolling around in the gutter.

Which also is not as sexy as it sounds.

Anyhow, I'm at work crabby as hell and then the mail came, including a letter from the Make a Wish foundation here in Chicago.

Thanking my company for donating some Bulls tickets a few weeks back.

In it, was another letter from a boy named Tony:

Even though the past two years were the worst days of my life, I have been so fortunate to have so many people reach out and be so kind and thoughtful. I cannot believe that someone would actually give up such good seats to someone they do not even know. Please let them know that I had one of the best days of my life and I was SO GRATEFUL.

I have no idea what this boy's life is like.

But I do know that the petty bullshit-stress-drama-whathaveyou we deal with on a regular basis is nothing compared to the life or death struggles of this kid.

This kid that I don't know. Who had one of the best days of his life because nobody here could use our court side tickets.

Also:

An IM from my friend Taxman earlier today

Asking about the Friday blog

And telling me that my former friend Spike called him Hedy Jr.

(which Taxman says he took as a compliment)

Which made me smile

I made Spanish rice last night and it was excellent

I have RUNNING SHOES

My first 5k EVER is this Sunday morning

It is a walk/run

I will be on the walk side of things but this is the first of many races

In which I hope to eventually run

Had a great conversation with my friend Kyra on the way home from work Wednesday night

Found out my parents are going to Hawaii with us for An Extra Special Wedding in November

To have (most) of the people I love the most in my most favorite place on Earth will be unimaginably outstanding

Road the train in with Susan this morning

Went walking with friend/neighbor Debbie two nights this week

The Daily Show with Jon Stewart makes me laugh out loud pretty much every day

Antonio and his crew came this week for the spring yard clean up and it looks OUTSTANDING

Plus, they cut out an area for the vegetable garden I'm planting next month

The research is fun

I cried a little yesterday thinking "Gosh I wish my Grandpa Kammer was here so I could ask him questions about growing a garden. What a great conversation that would be."

It was a sad, totally unexpected cry but took me to some very good memories

I am trying to figure out if his garden was really as big as I remember or if I was just so small

"I'm thinking Blackberry tonight" - email from Jim just now

It'll be three date night Fridays in a row for us

Understanding that some people survive on bullshit alone

And I am not one of them

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am listening to: Somewhere Over the Rainbow by Iz

I am reading: A client case study

And I am: Grateful

Good Things Friday - Bubbly Edition

2010-04-16T09:21:00.002-05:00

My new song list: Hed's Happy Time Tunes

My toes are a-okay and ready to be pedicured tomorrow

Walking to/from work instead of the bus - it's a hike but I love it

The cab driver who gave me a copy of the Quran Wednesday

Today is pay day

Planning date night

Planning a trip to Michigan for Mother's Day

Planning You-Know-Who's big 50th birthday in LG

Planning the trip for Nelson's wedding in Hawaii

The juggling balls from Judy for my birthday - love them

Doggies in a car next to the bus - smiling at me

My friend/co-worker Kathleen got engaged

Her ring is gorgeous - I rarely feel jealous but this is Gee Whiz Amazing Beautiful

That's about all I've got today for some reason.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am listening to: The Rainbow Connection - Sara McLachlan

I am reading: Nothing much

And I am: A-okay

Good Things Friday - Late Late Edition

2010-04-09T17:25:00.003-05:00

Today was the final battle in a life long war against my in-grown toe nails

My doctor puts smileys on the bandages

"Petersoned"

As in:

Jim the IT guy: "If I was Jim, I'd have Petersoned your ass long ago."

Me: "Petersoned?"

Jim the IT guy: "Yeah, as in Drew and Scott. Petersoned."

LMAO

I signed up for the Sweetness 5K on June 5

The movie: Sweet Home Alabama

A classic chick movie

Jake (Josh Lucas) is just awesome

Jim making me belly laugh via email today

The word 'putz'

As in, since we have no plans this weekend, I am going to putz around the house

Weather permitting, I will cut the grass for the first time this weekend

I can't WAIT

The movie: He's Just Not That Into You

Great scenes between Jennifer Aniston and Ben Affleck

Sure wish she could get more roles like that because she's not an idiot

My chiropractor

This song/video: I Love You, I Love You, I Love You

The user group/meetup I started last month now has 88 members

And people are attending from Minneapolis and Kansas City this month

It's just cool

New song by Pink: Glitter in the Air

It's just beautiful

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am listening to: Pink

I am reading: Nothing

And I am: Relaxed

Good Things Friday - Late Edition

2010-04-02T14:52:00.004-05:00

Marking days off my calendar with a blue marker
Which may not seem like much of a good thing
But I was out with mono for most of Jan/Feb so it's satisfying
Blue is for in the office, red is mono and the pink dots represent days I've worked out
Sharpies
I moved my desk at work on the advice of a Feng Shui consultant and it actually feels really good
I'm happy to say I've never shit my pants as an adult
I realize that could change at any time
It's been 80 degrees the past two days
Where are all the "Global Warming is Bullshit" folks now - the same people who crowed about all the snow
During one of the warmest winters on record
Assholes
(Assholes are not a good thing)
But oh well
I have flip flops on and it's April 2
A co-worker April fool'd me yesterday via text
I liked the emotional roller coaster - "Oh, NO" "You asshole!" "Hilarious!"
It felt good
My toes are bright pink
Well I think more fuschia
I had to look up how to spell fuschia
I've been walking to/from work instead of taking the bus or a cab
It's a 35-40 minute walk
I see a lot of cool stuff
Like men placing small squares of plywood near a building
"What are those for?"
The next day, a scaffold was sitting on the small squares
Now I know
I am blessed beyond belief with the best husband on the planet
He makes me laugh and cooks and helps me take life less seriously
My co-worker was on the news this morning for a Make a Wish room makeover
For a 12 year old girl with Long QT syndrome
(this is not a good thing)
But seeing her smile at the new bedroom - all purple and fun - was pretty cool
Hearing about a lot of people getting new jobs - hopeful sign that things are turning
Lunch with my friend Susan yesterday
Sitting on 'our' bench in the park
In the sun
Catching up
Was lovely
Text message from Jim just now: "Do you want to do a date?"
My response: "Sounds great!"
I have a full container of Wet Ones on my desk
(unrelated to the earlier statement about shitting my pants)
But it's a comfort having them
Figured out how to switch the phones over myself (moving my desk)
The phone lines in the server room were like spaghetti
But not so complicated when you really focus on what needs to be done
From my new desk, I can see the five buddhas in the conference room
And they can see me
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: Indigo Girls - Closer to Fine
I am reading: Not much
And I am: Closer to fine

Angry Republicans

2010-04-01T09:14:00.002-05:00

Here’s what confounds me most lately: All of these Republicans – they’re angry at people they’ve never met who’ve supposedly taken something from them they never had.

You know them.

The angry people. There’s a lot of them lately.

They’re angry at the current state of affairs and they’re blaming lazy, unmotivated, freeloading illegal immigrants and lazy, unmotivated, freeloading poor people. Or they're blaming socialist/communist Democrats (which if you understand anything about socialism, communism, or Democrats, you'd know there's no way in hell to be any of those three things all at once.)

Let’s take a step back, shall we?

Let’s take a long, deep breath.

Mmmmmm. Ahhhhhhhh.

Now let’s try – really try – to understand why things are the way they are rather than screaming at the sky all the time.

First, illegal immigrants. Republicans are very angry at people who come to this country illegally. Why don’t they go through the proper channels? Why do they think they can just come here and why don’t they learn English and why why why?

1) The majority of illegal immigrants come here for jobs
2) Jobs that are offered by people
3) People who, for whatever reason, don’t want to pay a fair wage or health insurance or unemployment insurance or anything else that employers are legally required to pay
4) If the illegal jobs weren’t offered, people wouldn’t come here
5) Why would anyone break the law to come to a foreign country to work at jobs that no one wants for crap pay and zero benefits?
6) Maybe it’s because it’s slightly better than what their own country has to offer and maybe they have families they need to feed
7) And wouldn’t you do the same?
8) Is it so hard to imagine someone desperate to provide for their family – are all of us fat, happy Americans so disconnected from reality that we can’t see this as a possibility
9) And have a little compassion?
10) Here’s a better question: Why is all the Republican outrage directed at illegal immigrants (foreign and brown) and not at the people making money off of them (wealthy and white)?
11) Republicans want a crack down on illegal aliens but they don’t want to look at the source of the problem – the illegal employers.

Next topic: Republicans are angry that someone, somewhere out there is getting a Free Ride.

Think of someone you know. I am right now. He’s a relative, so no, I’m not thinking of you.

They haven’t held a job most of their life, living off the good graces of family and friends. Occasionally, they come up with a Brilliant Plan for Making It Big This Time involving some un-small monetary investment on your part that invariably ends in a fizzled up pile of frustration and excuses.

We all know at least one person like this. Maybe two.

If you’re fortunate enough to be a member of two or three different families (mom’s, dad’s, spouse’s), odds are you’ll know two or three of these people, but no more.

Because:

1) Most people want to work
2) The national unemployment rate is around 10% right now; 9.7% to be exact
3) During good times, it hovers around 3%
4) Which means 97% of the U.S. population is gainfully employed
5) Which means 3% or less of the population will always be unemployed
6) Because for some, that’s the way they want it
7) And there’s nothing we can do to convince these people they should work
8) So why waste all of this anger on something a) will never change and b) we can’t do anything about?

Oh and if you’re thinking most of those people who don’t want to work are non-white – I hate to tell you this, you’re a racist.

Here’s the bottom line (mostly because I’m at work now and can’t write anymore):

Rather than being angry and/or afraid and looking for someone to blame – rather than being overly concerned with a small percentage of people you’ll never, ever change – here’s a thought: Why not be the fearless, powerful self you are and try to make a difference in the world?

You’ll feel better. And quite frankly, so will I.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: Counting Crows – Rain King
I am reading: Nothing good lately
And I am: Fearless and powerful

Good Thing Friday

2010-03-26T09:11:00.003-05:00

Here's to the best thing that ever happened to me: My Mom.

Today is her birthday and I'm ever so glad she was born.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: Tracy Chapman - Sing For You
I am reading: Not much
And I am: Happy

Good things Friday

2010-03-12T12:09:00.004-06:00

I am wearing my favorite new comfy-cuddly sweater/wrap thing from Ann Taylor Loft
I do not look like this in it
Jim calls it a poncho
“Is that a real poncho or a Sears poncho?” - Frank Zappa
The sun is shining and it’s relatively warm
A big golden dog smiling, hanging his head out the back seat of a Jeep
Kicked off a user group this week that is going to be huge
Remembering the last time I had an uncontrollable giggle fit
It was at a small playhouse in Chicago with my friend Susan
“Do you know what the Nazis did first? They took all the guns away from the Jews.”
The actor stopped in the middle of her monolog, looked at us and said, “Is there a problem?”
Which only made things worse
You really had to be there
Da’s birthday is tomorrow
I am so grateful he was born
Planning a trip to Michigan in May to shop estate sales with Mom
Planning Nelson’s annual trip to Chicago in June
Planning Susie’s annual trip to Chicago sometime this summer
The “Bang” song from How I Met Your Mother
A date with Jim at the Roundhouse last night
It’s so cool and amazing how, after all these years, we still have great conversations
The restaurant Yolk on Wells in River North – great omelets and amazing fresh fruit
I’m finally awake and thinking clearly after two months of mono
~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: Some jerk yap yap yap
I am reading: Nothing much
And I am: Comfy-cuddly

Good Things Friday - Hairy Mammoth Edition

2010-03-05T09:24:00.003-06:00

I’m finally kicking the mono’s ass instead of it kicking mine
The famous 'hairy mammoth' of Chicago
Laughing with Mom on the phone
My fingernails look great
The sun is SHINING!
Lunch @ Portillo's with Jim the IT guy today
Going to dinner with the You Know Who’s tonight
“That looks a little big on you, let’s try the medium.” - the angelic and delightful salesperson @ Ann Taylor Loft in Geneva Commons
The Old Spice commercial – “I’m on a horse.”
Still haven’t had any chips since June of last year in spite of many opportunities including a special 'mono dispensation' from Jim
The upside to mono: lots of reading. Recommended: Game Change, The Lost Symbol, and Hawaii by James Michener
“Practically every week I hear somebody say ‘You should see all the great things Heather is doing for LCG.’ We really screwed up letting you go with Larry.” - the guy who fired me 2.5 years ago
“Well I believe everything happens for a reason and I’m really happy now.” - my response
It’s funny – I didn’t even think before saying that, it just came out. Must be true.
~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: Phoenix – If I Ever Feel Better
I am reading: Nothing right now
And I am: Rockin'

The myth/math of networking

2010-02-16T17:21:00.003-06:00

I've mentioned it before: The best jobs never get posted to Monster or Careerbuilder.

If you're in the market for a new gig, it'll find you. That's the power of your professional network. It can be explained using this simple formula:

R x T(I) = QPN

R = Reputation
T(I) = Time spent in an Industry
QPN = Quality of your Professional Network

If you're good, this isn't something you should really need to work at - your professional network just grows through the normal course of your career.

That said, I'm not a huge fan of the new millennium brand of Networking.

You go to a 'Networking' event. You chat with an ass-load of boring people you don't know. And, according to Expert Networkers, VOILA! BAM! POW!

Business comes your way.

Not so much.

And here's why. Let's call it Hedy's Neediness Quotient.

Well maybe not quotient. Theorem? Ack. Hypothesis?

Eh, fuck it, I was never much into science.

Let's call it Hedy's Neediness Something-or-Other That Implies It's Not Quite a Rule Yet But Should Be.

THEORY, Hedy?

Yeah, that sounds fine. And fuck you, I'm a little rusty, cut me some slack here.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What's the goal of networking? To help your business, right?

You find people who need what you're selling OR you find people you need to hire to help you sell more. Right?

But the more needy you are, the less likely you'll be able to provide something of value to other networkers. Right?

And the less needy you are, the less likely you'll need to attend a networking event.

See the problem? The people who have the most power to be of help at networking events AREN'T THERE.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I've been trying to figure this out for months. Well off and on for months.

Okay, maybe just for a few minutes here and there while I'm on the crapper, but still.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"The difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large matter--it's the difference between the lightning bug and the lightning." - Mark Twain
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'm working on another theory for how this relates to the usefulness of social media. Again, it's all about needs.

99% of what gets Twittered, Facebooked and LinkedIn'd isn't worthwhile to anyone but the social retard who posted it. Myself included.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I'm an introvert, that's why I don't do networking events."

That was my original reason but it never quite sat well. First of all, I believe that "introvert" is mostly a state of mind - we can choose to be outgoing and sociable if we deem it worthwhile. More on that another time.

Today I've finally (roughly) figured out the real reason why I've always been so negative on networking events: They're simply not worthwhile for people like me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Please. Tell me if I'm full of shit on this. Or if I'm just full of shit in general. It'd be great to hear from you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
But Hedy, what about the altruistic aspect of networking? What about just putting yourself out there to be of some small help to The Universe?

I can think of other ways to do that - ways that don't involve making small talk with strangers while downing crappy crudites and piss-warm wine.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: Dream Big - Ryan Shupe & the RubberBand
I am reading: Zeitoun by David Eggers
And I am: Rusty

Where ya bean

2010-02-09T18:53:00.002-06:00

When I was a kid, I thought we were all human beans.

Green beans. Lima beans. String beans. Jumping beans. Baked beans.

And human beans.

Learning that I'm not a bean was one of the single most disappointing moments of my childhood.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Speaking of my childhood, I've spent the past year dissecting every aspect of my existence in a class Jim calls Charm School.

It's over now.

And this is one of the first Tuesday nights I've had free since last year around this time.

I went into the class thinking I was relatively self aware (food issues, anger issues, and maybe some - yikes - sex issues) but overall a relatively healthy, functioning human ~~bean~~.

The class helped me figure out some pretty important things about myself and it took a lot of my time and energy to do so. Thus the lack of writing.

Or the lack of public writing anyhow.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Here's the thing: Way back in Oh Hell Whenever I started writing here, I swore I'd tell the truth.

The unedited, unpretty, and the unpolished.

I uncovered a lot more of that sort of stuff in Charm School and it became decidedly dangerous and uncomfortable to let some of it fly here.

Or maybe I'm just a coward.

Anyhow. That's the poop.

This feels like I'm easing back into something comfortable and comforting, so we'll see where it goes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: The fan on the Mac
I am reading: Hawaii by James Michener
And I am: FINE

Mono without all the fun of getting it

2010-01-19T11:35:00.003-06:00

I am realizing - by the stilted reactions of several acquaintances - that there's a bit of a stigma around mono.

"Mono? Feel better."

"Mono? How'd that happen?"

"Mono? I always knew you were a whore."

You get the picture.

I sincerely wish I'd had some of the fun involved with contracting this evil virus. It would make having my ass embedded in the couch so much more enjoyable, with at least a few good memories to pass the time.

Mono IS contracted via saliva. It can be spread if a person sneezes on their hand and then shakes hands with someone or touches a door knob/handle.

Which is how I got it. I'm assuming.

Perhaps this isn't the best time to confess my penchant for sucking on door knobs?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: A very quiet house
I am reading: A user experience assessment for Zumies
And I am: Crabby and tired

MORE Good Things Friday

2010-01-15T16:38:00.003-06:00

"This is Dr. Zimmer from Dr. C____'s office, has anyone called you about your blood work yet?"

"No..."

"You have mono."

"That's GREAT. I'm not crazy."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pos: "You may have mono, but that's not a mutually exclusive condition from 'crazy'."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: Gromit breathing
I am reading: Googled 'mono'
And I am: Relieved

GTF - Late Edition

2010-01-15T13:39:00.002-06:00

"You're sick again?"
"Not again. Still, apparently."

Anyhow, here are some good things from the past week:
"You've lost 5 lbs. since we saw you between Christmas and New Year." - my doctor, today
Watched Slumdog Millionaire - good story, a little contrived, but good.
And the soundtrack is awesome
Taught myself how to add motion to a PowerPoint presentation
It might not seem like a big deal to you, but as one friend puts it, I'm easily amused
All of the Christmas decorations are finally down/away as of last weekend
I am wearing Christmas socks, compliments of Mom.
They are comfy.
The Red Cross, making it easy for all of us lazy-asses to help Haiti via texting
Craig Ferguson
Talking to Judy last night about her brilliant book exchange idea
"Did you hear Pat Robertson said Haiti made a deal with the devil?" - me
"And that's why they've been living so well all these years?" - Jim
I've been having my nails done on a regular basis for about two months now
My hands have NEVER looked nice - and now they do
It's a totally girly thing but it makes me feel good so fuck it
The mentor meeting went well last week - I'm supposed to write my obituary by Jan. 22 when he gets back from Mexico
I don't think he's planning on killing me - yet
I am wearing my favorite sweatshirt from Granite Peak in Wausau, WI
The house is clean
Two weeks, 4 days from tomorrow I'll be on my favorite beach with a few of my favorite people
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: CNN Haiti coverage
I am reading: Ugh - nothing
And I am: Tired and crabby

Good Things Friday – Back in the Groove Electric Boogaloo Edition

2010-01-08T08:46:00.003-06:00

The 2009 holiday season was the best EVER

A fabulous pre-Christmas trip to Michigan to see family and friends

Nelson and Bec are getting married in Hawaii this November and it's just crazy-awesome-cool

Skiing in northern Wisconsin – one of my very favorite traditions and a great way to kick off every new year

I'm not a great skier but it's relaxing and fun for me

The cupcake charm Mom sent for my Pandora bracelet is wonderful

"You're a cupcake. And who doesn't love a cupcake?" - Mom

1Password – software that keeps all your password, ID, credit card, and software license info in one secure and easily accessible place

Sorry, it's only for us really cool Mac people

Jim built an amazing, awesome bar in the basement

He’s calling it the Wong Way Inn

(his nickname is Wong)

It makes me think of my favorite golf joke

Anyhow, it’s growing on me

Can’t stop watching the new Star Trek movie

It’s just good clean fun

And Leonard Nemoy's cameo is priceless

Good week back at work

New Motorola wireless headphones for Christmas - fantastic sound quality, and so much easier on my tiny ears than those damn iPod earbud thingies

I hate the word 'earbud' it sounds like something ugly growing in my ear

Finally sucked it up and got another copy of my Best of Ed Bruce CD, which was stolen years ago

Definitely one of my top 5 favorite albums

“Everything’s a Waltz” and “Mommas Don’t Let Your Babies” are sublime

Ed Bruce actually wrote the song made famous by Willie and Waylon

And sang it way better than them on this CD

The guy’s like 80 years old now and still kickin’ with the ding-dang sexiest voice on the planet

Like a very old Kid Rock

He had a cameo in Public Enemies with Johnny Depp

My boss and a co-worker made it home to Chicago last night

Keith at the front desk and Andre the Giant - two guys in our office building who keep things running smoothly

It's the only way I can remember his name - he's Andre and he is the Largest Human Being I've ever met

I have my first meeting with my mentor today finally

He scares the crap outta me, that’s why I asked him to do this

Had a pretty horrible dream on Monday but by Wednesday had it mostly figured out

Fantasizing about everyone on the train singing “Mommas Don’t Let Your Babies”

It’s been like eight or nine months since I’ve had a crunchy/salty chip

Still haven’t given up sweets as planned

But I’ll get there

Realized yesterday that 2009 was the best year of my life

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am listening to: TLC – Diggin’ on You

I am reading: Eat, Pray, Love…sorta

And I am: Like peace…in a groove

Trains, planes & automobiles

2010-01-07T21:47:00.002-06:00

Because of the weather, I spent a good portion of today desperately trying to get two co-workers home to Chicago from Syracuse, New York.

Lessons learned:

1) Delta's automated phone thingy is rigged. It pretends it doesn't hear you say 'representative'. Every. Fucking. Time. How do I know this? I called them five times in the course of 90 minutes and no matter how clearly I enunciated 're-pre-sen-ta-tive' the automated douchetool said "I'm sorry, I didn't hear your answer, do you want to blah di blah di blah?"

2) "That flight was ticketed by US Airways, so you'll have to contact them." - United Airlines.

3) "That flight is operated by United Airlines, so you'll have to contact them." - US Airways.

4) If the tickets you're after are no longer available on the Delta site, try Northwest.

5) Expedia and Orbitz are completely worthless in this scenario -- apparently you need to "contact the airline to book these tickets" during snowstorms.

6) There are no Amtrak trains from Milwaukee to Chicago after 7:45 pm on a Thursday.

7) Contrary to its name, Metra's Milwaukee District North Line does NOT go to/from Milwaukee.

8) If you're super duper nice, the hotel folks will cancel your just-in-case reservation without a penalty.

9) To keep your job, resist the urge to say "You're fucked!" (like the gobble-gobble car rental clerk in Trains, Planes and Automobiles) to your stranded boss and co-worker.

I finally booked these guys on the only flight out of Syracuse that wasn't cancelled.

On Delta. Via the Northwest Airlines web site.

To Milwaukee. Via Cincinnati.

Here's hoping they made it home safely tonight.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am listening to: NBC 5 News

I am reading: Ugh - trying to get back into Eat Pray Love but haven't made it any farther than eat

And I am: Amazed it's Friday already

The last thing i want

2010-01-01T17:29:00.003-06:00

Or perhaps it's the first thing.

Anyhow, the thing I want most right now is for what I'm about to say to not sound preachy.

Here goes.

How about if this year we shit-can all of those crazy resolutions we have no intention of (or let's be honest here, a real plan for) keeping.

And instead, we take a long, hard look at the deeper reasons why we

eat

drink

smoke

talk

shop

bitch

gossip

procrastinate

surf the Internet

[insert your favorite here]

too much and actually do something to change our lives this year.

It's difficult and it sucks but it's also amazing and real and enlightening and life-changing.

You ready? You with me?

Here we go.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am listening to: The Rose Bowl

I am reading: Eat, Pray, Love

And I am: Ready for 2010

CWC

2009-12-23T15:15:00.003-06:00

In honor of Cuddly Wuddly Christ, Dave from RatherThanWorking, and the holiday season in general, here is my all-time favorite Christmas memory:

It’s December and we’re bringing down Mom’s mountains of Christmas decorations from the attic.

Da is up at the top of the stairs handing things down to us. Us is me, my brother Eric, and David, my boyfriend at the time.

It was a long process and we were all pretty crabby and dusty towards the end.

“Here’s a box of ornaments,” Da said. “Be careful.”

“Here’s the wreath.”

“Here are the outside lights, put those over in the corner.”

Finally, he got to the last box. The three of us looked up expectantly at Da, leaning down with that trademark half-serious grin.

“And here. Here’s the goddamned manger.”

Thanks to Da, every manger, anywhere (especially in my own house, dragging out decorations in December) is referred to as The Goddamned Manger.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am listening to: Bare Naked Ladies - God Rest Ye Merry Woop-di-do

I am reading: Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert

And I am: Unbelievably joyful

Good Things Friday - You Don't Need Shoes if You're Dead Edition

2009-12-11T08:41:00.002-06:00

My iPhone isn't dead, just very crabby lately
My heavy winter boots which I thought needed replacing
Just needed a good cleaning/vacuuming and
Are pretty much the warmest things I own
They're ugly but get the job done
Unlike those fucking Ugg boots that are worthless in deep snow/slush
Going to the ChristKindl-Markt (which we call the Kringle mart) then dinner with Jim and The Millers tonight - it's going to be a blast.
Putting up the village tomorrow with Tina - one of my favorite holiday traditions
The Chipmunks Xmas song
3 Advil is the poor man's Vicodin
Jim's new baked Spanish rice recipe - YUMMY
Gromit actually looked pissed and covered his eyes with his paws Thursday morning when I turned on the light to find a book
It was without question the most human thing he's ever done
Right after knowing Mom was spelling F-R-I-S-B-E-E that one time
"Why does she need shoes if she's dying?"
Jim's Xmas lights on the house are beautiful
He always sneaks off and buys new ornaments a few weeks before Christmas -this year it's an excessively chatty Robby the Robot and a Twilight Zone TV
"Are those my bras?' I say to Jim as he brings in a small UPS box from the porch.
"Your bras would fit in this box?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: Mr. Hankey's Christmas Classics
I am reading: Nothing great right now
And I am: Getting there

Good Things Friday - Freezing My Baguettes Off Edition

2009-12-04T09:56:00.002-06:00

BEST THANKSGIVING EVER - it was a truly collaborative effort and unbelievably fun, thanks to all of our good friends, xoxo!
Having some amazing, enlightening conversations with Mom over the past two days
Another favorite holiday tradition: Christmas Walk in Geneva tonight; hope to see you there!
Last year I knocked over a luminary and it burst into flames
Went to a Pampered Chef party at Mrs. You-Know-Who's with Mom W, Judy, and Debbie Thursday night
Jim: "You're just pissed off you don't have a penis."
For the first time in my life I have pretty fingernails and am getting lots of compliments on them
It's very girly and historically I've stayed away from high maintenance chick stuff, but this makes me inexplicably happy
My new lumpy brown $20 sweater from Target
Okay maybe I'm lumpy, not the sweater but who the fuck cares
My podiatrist has fixed the hell outta both ingrown toenails
His name is Robin and he's awesome
(I like it when he touches my feet)
(in a purely professional doctor-patient way of course)
(not really)
Anyhow, where were we?
I am writing again, just not here - more on that later
"Back Door Santa" by Clarence Carter
I now have a professional mentor - something new and interesting and kinda cool
Getting the Griswold family Christmas tree this Sunday
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: Blue Christmas - Elvis
I am reading: Drawing Down the Moon by Margot Adler
And I am: Pretty freakin' festive

No Thanksgiving

2009-11-24T22:45:00.004-06:00

You may not remember this but I sure do. Last year we here at HedyBlog started my new favorite pre-Thanksgiving tradition: No Thanksgiving.

If you're like me, you're just about done with all that treacly "I'm thankful for" shit on Facebook and could use a little bitching and swearing. So here's a list of things I'm not thankful for in no particular order; please feel free to join in any time.

My fucking in grown toenail which is the biggest, ugliest, throbbiest painful mess anyone has seen since Anna Nicole Smith died.
David Letterman - who is a creep and should STFU
Sarah Palin - who is a silly C U Next Tuesday and should STFU
Fundamentalist Christians
Any fundamentalist, period
The remote control for the TV which does not do as its told
Those ridiculous, ubiquitous chanting GAP commercials
People who walk and text
People who walk and text whilst going down the stairs from the El tracks when I'm in a hurry to catch my fucking train
(I so want to push them)
Troublemakers - people who like to create issues to distract from their own incompetence
Beck, Limbaugh, O'Reilly, Hannity, Coulter and Malkin
The movie Wild Hogs with John Travolta and others - one of the worst movies in the history of all movies
Old Navy ads with the creepy mannequins - not at all compelling
My fucking Sony TV which has blue dots all over it
The Sony 'warranty' which only covered this known issue with my model until last year
Now it's a giant paperweight that gives me a headache every time I watch it
Zack Ephron - he looks like he's got a squirrel camped in his head
That stupid crotch Soledad O'Brien who seriously couldn't interview her way out of a wet paper bag
Leong, the guy who did my nails last Saturday - he yelled at me because I wanted them shorter and then wouldn't speak to me until they were done
I NEVER get my nails done - EVER
My mother-in-law's spankin' new computer which hasn't worked right since someone who shall remain nameless installed AOL on it
For fuck's sake
Level 64 on Blocked
Vertical Response, which totally fucked me last Friday on an email drop: The test environment doesn't replicate the actual drop
The toilets in our house which always threaten to clog right up to the moment you wave the plunger at them
Oh great. "From the director of Wild Hogs: Old Dogs"
How do these people get to continue making movies? Seriously.
People who start every sentence with "So"
Maggie Gyllenhaal - there's something wrong with her face
My poorly designed deodorant dispenser, which is surprisingly difficult to use - can't even imagine someone with arthritis managing it
Relatives who come to your house and shit the bed
Radio ads that use ringing telephones and beeping car horns
TV commercials at the gas pump
People who lack social skills, e.g. they can't tell when people want them to shut the fuck up
Farmville, Mafia Wars, and any of those other retarded Facebook games
No, I won't help you fuck a sheep or grow turnips or kill off your sworn enemy with a cell phone. Stop it.
Lady GaGa
People who fart on the train
The conductor on the 7:22 who talks too much and never does his share of the work
This uncomfortable couch
Any vampires who are not on True Blood
Michael Jackson - so glad that creep is finally gone
Rod Blagojevich, George Ryan, Kwame Kilpatrick
That scary king from the Burger King commercials
That stupid show Cougar Town
People who persist in making fat jokes about Oprah - it was funny in 1992. Not now.
The Asian cab driver who would not drive faster than 10 mph tonight
The cab driver who wanted to drop me off at the Madison street entrance to Union Station - who the fuck does that?
Smelly cab drivers
Chicago weather
Cramps
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: Craig Ferguson
I am reading: Drawing Down the Moon by Margot Adler
And I am: Ungrateful

Good Things Friday, Fuck Yeah Edition

2009-11-20T08:43:00.002-06:00

The huge, bright orange sun on the horizon this morning
Laughing with Mom this morning
“Dead Doug”
Jim’s new Mexican chicken recipe - outstanding!
A fantastic, hilarious weekend in Lake Geneva with the You Know Who’s and the Millers – hearing the theme from ‘Rocky’ will make me crack up for the rest of my life.
In fact, I’d probably like it played at my funeral. ☺
“The Snuggie for men should have a hole in the front” - Jim
Playing with Grommie upstairs every night when I get home from work – sometimes he wants to play tug o’ war and sometimes it’s chase or hide and seek, he picks.
Reading all the “Today I am thankful for” posts on Facebook
The Daily Show – outstanding news/entertainment – if you’re not watching, you should be.
Jim is building a bar downstairs and it’s going to be amazing
The Freedom Wall, a few blocks from my office in the River North neighborhood of Chicago
Thanksgiving – my FAVORITE holiday – is next week
The guy on the train wearing the Darth Vader “Join the Dark Side” sweatshirt with his tongue pierced
Discussing the difference between bitching and nagging with Jim over dinner at Stockholm’s Wednesday night
The new Star Trek movie – just plain ol’ fun
“We need to get away, just you and me.” - Jim
The graffiti under the bridge near Union Station – beautiful owls
Upgraded the work Mac to Snow Leopard and it is noticeably zippier
I thought my bus stop at Huron/Orleans was eliminated, but the sign was just down for construction
Birch trees
Zinging my friend Spike (remember him?) on Facebook comments this week – always satisfying and fun
Becoming a fan of WhosPooping on Facebook
Turkey Raffle tonight – looking forward to an evening with all of our friends winning meat
Little Johnny jokes
The Christmas decorations at the Portillo’s on Clark in the city
Now the sun is high and pure white and fighting clouds
It’s going to be a good day
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: The Killers – Read My Mind
I am reading: Neil Steinberg in the Sun-Times
And I am: Fuck Yeah

Good things Friday

2009-11-13T07:32:00.002-06:00

Email at 6:08 this morning: "Work from home!!!"
Today is Hug a Jew Day - of course, working from home it's highly unlikely I'll have the opportunity but oh well
The Daily Show
Sean Hannity apologizing to the Daily Show
Rising above the lunacy with a bit of reason and compassion
Not succumbing to the frenzied state of others
Worked out four times this week - went to lunchtime Pilates twice
Googled a tech support issue and fixed it myself
Scrabble on Facebook
"You don't have very many points. So shut up."
Orange chicken at Panda Express
"You should walk around the house like that all the time"
Shopping, drinking and laughing for 24 hours in Lake Geneva this weekend
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: Quiet house sounds
I am reading: Nothing
And I am: Calm

GTF

2009-11-06T08:34:00.002-06:00

The mass they pulled from Da’s bladder was benign - YAYYY!!!
Benign is a great word
My friends over at UWantSavings.com are celebrating one year in business. Congratulations! Bravo!
Please visit their site if you're looking for amazing deals on all kinds of cool products from housewares to clothing and more.
And a hearty Woot! to them as well (Woot! contacted them for an alliance, another big win...way to go!)
The smell of bacon outside The Green Door Tavern in the morning
I am blogging for work – at least twice a week – so that’s something I guess
"People's civil liberties should not be put up for a vote."
Had the quintessential Halloween: Scary stories around a bonfire under a nearly full moon
The phrase “waxing gibbous”
It sounds kinda dirty/sexy, doesn’t it?
I am learning how to cook, thanks to Jim
My friend Susan F. gave me a thank you box of chocolates from Rich Chocolates – they were amazing
Saying “life is like a box of chocolates” in my best Forrest Gump voice
A date with Jim in the city last night
Watching The Daily Show on my iPhone
Planning another raucous 24 hours in Lake Geneva
“I’m sorry for bitching at you earlier.” - me
“Was that bitching? I thought that was just normal conversation.” - Jim
The One Chick Rule – if it's a group of guys and just one chick you can talk/act as if she’s not there
The crazy cat woman who always eats a breakfast bar and crackles her wrapper like mad is NOT on the 7:07 today
No big plans this weekend other than yard work with Jim and maybe a bonfire
Steve’s Deli on Hubbard across from the East Bank Club – outstanding, classic Jewish deli
Except there were no pickles on the table, which to me is the sign of a true classic Jewish deli
Anyhow
Fixed the problem with duplicate contacts on my iPhone – All By Myself (thank you, Google)
But not without first deleting every contact from all of my lists – oops
Fortunately it was an easy mistake to fix
In the process, I deleted some contacts that were Long Overdue for deleting and it felt Very Good Indeed
Chatting with my friend Jeff on the way to work this morning - he's one of the few people who shares my political/social views
Researching projectors for our office – ask me anything about lumens, throw, DLP, 1080p, whathaveyou – I’m your girl
The show Californication on Showtime – Hank Moody is my fucking hero. Literally.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: Follow You Down – Gin Blossoms
I am reading: Case study for Lucy Activewear
And I am: Okee-dokey

GTS!

2009-10-24T07:26:00.002-05:00

Sure it was a rough week but I realized last night that my foul mood was getting in the way of seeing all the really good things this week.

And the number one good thing is this: We're celebrating Jim's Mom's 80th birthday today.

That's how bad the week was - I totally forgot about this other Major Event that we've been planning since June. Sixty people. Family and her neighbors and her friends and our neighbors and our friends. And an accordion player who specializes in Polka music.

It's today.

Today we're celebrating this woman who is a blessing to everyone. She's taken great care of herself - she certainly doesn't look like an octogenarian - and still manages to take care of all of us.

I am particularly grateful because she raised a son who is unbelievably kind and loving to me.

So there ya go. Good Things Saturday.

Happy birthday, Mom W. Many happy returns.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: Plain White T's - All That We Needed
I am reading: High on Arrival by Mackenzie Phillips
And I am: Grateful

GTF - Fetal Position Edition

2009-10-23T10:17:00.002-05:00

Rough week. I feel like curling up in the fetal position - and that's just from walking to the bus this morning in the always so fucking perfect sideways rain that signifies the lovely season of Fall here in Chicago.

Please Help: Da has another suspicious growth in his bladder. They removed it in the doctor's office on Monday and we'll have biopsy results in two weeks. Please send warm thoughts and prayers to my parents this week. They're holding up remarkably well but could always use the extra special support.

Anyhow.

Here's my feeble, beaten-up-from-the-week attempt at GTF (it would've been WAY easier to bitch about how fucked up this week was, but here goes):

Jim made me laugh over my inability to say 'indemnification' in my big huge important webinar on Wednesday.
"I think that's actually pretty funny. How'd you say it, Jesse?"
It's 'Celebrate Your Mistakes' assignment week at Charm School, how fucking appropriate is that?
Jim came up with the idea that we should have an accordion player for his Mom's big 80th birthday bash this weekend.
Found one last night within a minute of Googling and he's PERFECT.
Laughing with Mom over It's a "Vanilla Shake on My Tits" day
Wore flip flops for the first time since early September Wednesday night
Finally found some time to finish book 4 of the Twilight series - it was good, mindless fiction. Certainly not on par with Harry Potter, but good.
Playing Scrabble with Jim the IT guy
Reuland's in Aurora is catering the party this weekend - they have the best roast beef sammiches on the planet
Birthday cake!
"We should have ice cream for the cake"
Loaded baked potato soup from Stockholm's in Geneva
I worked out three times this week, once at 4:30 in the morning.
Can you tell this isn't working for me? I'm really struggling.
Did I mention birthday cake?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: The Killers - Read My Mind
I am reading: High on Arrival by Mackenzie Phillips
And I am: Morose

GTF - by popular demand!

2009-10-16T14:36:00.002-05:00

Getting an email from my good friend Judy "Where's GTF??????? I look forward to that every week!"
My new Poppie Jones gloves/mittens from DSW – with the thumbs that flip off (in a good way)
Adventures with Aunt Joy last week
"I was more worried about Chicago"
Dark chocolate Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup miniatures
Riding into Chicago on the train with Jim yesterday
I have 360 people registered for my webcast next Wednesday – a new record
Understanding the idea of having the right topic at the right time
Having a dance floor in my basement
Understanding irritating people
My comfy, raggedy ol' Ugg boots
Work is going particularly well right now
Lunch with Susan on Monday
"I don't think I've got a code for robot."
Dinner at Ach-n-Lou's pizza in Aurora last night
Good, really deep dreams lately
Hearing the word 'broad' as in "She looks like an old Vegas broad" twice this week
Using the word 'tool' as a replacement for asshole, dickhead, etc.
Lunch with Jim the IT guy today
The chicken parm sammich at Portillo's
"And she shit the bed!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: Jewel - You Were Meant for Me
I am reading: Twilight - book 4
And I am: Pretty fucking happy right now

GTF: Dead-People-Don't-Have-Feelings/Eschew the Hoo Edition

2009-10-09T07:03:00.003-05:00

Mom and me have this twisty little joke we tell - it's been going on for as long as I can remember.

When somebody dies, one of us asks "How did he die?"

And the other says "Like this" with an accompanying head tilt/eyes closed thing, feigning death.

It kills (yes, I said it) every time but I guess you really have to be there to appreciate it.

So earlier this week when I told Mom about The Turd offing himself, she said "So I have to ask - how did he die?"

And it cracked me up completely even though I didn't really feel like laughing.

Humor about death is healthy and absolutely necessary. I think it's why The Big Chill is one of my all-time favorite movies - friends are grieving over an unexpected loss and they deal with it in all kinds of delightfully screwball ways.

Anyhow - I've also been thinking about this whole concept of having respect for the dead. It's taboo to say negative things about dead people. You could probably tell I struggled with it a bit earlier this week.

After Nixon died you would've thought the man was a saint. No "I am not a crook" references, just all the reverence generally afforded an elder statesman. Michael Jackson, same thing. Not a word about the twisted relationships he had with young boys throughout his life. And then there's the recent MacKenzie Phillips thing. I was at the Oprah Winfrey show where she announced her ten-year long incestuous relationship with her father. And of course the confession sparked outrage over the fact that Papa John couldn't defend himself.

I sat there in the audience thinking, in the words of Stan from South Park, "Dude, this is pretty fucked up right here."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hedy, do you and Mom do the jokey death 'like this' thing when EVERYONE dies?

No. This joke is reserved for people who were mere acquaintances and/or relatives we didn't know or like all that well.

Never for close friends/family.

I think I did it when my Aunt Ethel died and it didn't go over too well. Although I laughed like hell.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If someone is an asshole while they're alive (like The Turd) it oughtta be okay to call him an asshole after he's six feet under.

But HEDY, the asshole isn't around to defend himself. It's not respectful.

BULLSHIT. First of all, what difference does it make if I call someone an asshole, whether they're in the next room or dead? Either way, they're not around to defend themselves. In fact, it's probably worse insulting someone from the next room. At least in that case I'm insulting a real live person who may or may not care about being called an asshole. Dead people don't have feelings.

Second of all, who's bright idea was it that dead people ought to be afforded more respect than the living? If someone wasn't worthy of respect while they were living and breathing, why the fuck should they garner any respect once they're gone? Makes no sense.

But HEDY. You were all Mrs. Compassion earlier this week.

I know, fuck you and shaddap. Seriously. I have the ability to recognize when I'm on the squishy edge of bleeding heart liberal and thankfully I've managed to step out of the goo as this week has progressed.

Okay, I do understand the part about having respect for the people who have lost a loved one - absolutely I understand that. But here's the scoop:

Fact: My former boss was a selfish, insufferable prick. He made life miserable for a lot of people. He knew he was a prick. And he didn't care.

Fact: He was on medication periodically throughout his adult life and chose not to take it. The meds helped him be a 'normal' person but he wanted no part of it.

Fact: He killed himself in a way that he knew family members would find him.

Fact: I am judging the hell out of him right now and don't really give a fuck.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One of the single greatest things I've learned at charm school is that we are obligated to be the best version of ourselves - we owe it to the people around us.

We also owe it to the people we love to expect more out of them. I'm obligated to tell you if you're not making good decisions and I sure as hell hope you'd tell me the same. That's one of the finest definitions of genuine love I can imagine.

The Turd gave up trying to be a worthwhile human being a long time ago and decided if he was going to be miserable, then he might as well make everyone else around him miserable as well.

Bottom line, he needed to die. The world is a much better place without him in it.

There are three kinds of people: Those who make a difference and work hard to be good people. Those who don't really make a difference but don't hurt anyone else and just do their own thing. And then there are those who make it their mission to create havoc and pain wherever they go.

That last group - if they are conscious of their actions like my boss was - should die as quickly and as painfully as possible.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Okay, enough of that shit. Let's wrap up with Good Things Friday:

Waking up to multiple hoot-owls hooting Monday morning
And yes, they're hoot owls dammit; I'm quite certain there are some owls who eschew the hoo
Spelling owl 'wol' like in Winnie the Pooh
Monday morning - looking out at the misty trees in the backyard just starting to turn
Lunch with Ms. Moo on Monday
Text from Mrs. You Know Who: "Look at the moon!"
Aunt Joy is here for the weekend
Text from Jim, who was in Rome all week: "Exhausted. Six hours in the Vatican."
My response: "Six hours? Were you in confession?"
Shopping with Mrs. YKW on Sunday
Watching Benny & Joon Tuesday night - "You're out of your tree." "It's not my tree."
Email from my friend Wesley from the train: "What else would you do if that [magic] wand really worked?"
My response: "Laundry. Seriously. Just laundry."
Scarf weather
Breakfast for lunch at Yolk on Wells
Unexpectedly seeing someone I hadn't seen in a very long time and smiling about it all day long
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: Drops of Jupiter - Train
I am reading: I'm on hiatus from Twilight 4
And I am: Damn glad I'm not dead, like this

R.I.P. Turd

2009-10-05T20:00:00.004-05:00

“Did you hear? Doug _______ committed suicide.”

That’s how I found out my former boss – known here as The Turd – killed himself last Friday. Via a Facebook email message from a former co-worker.

Apparently he hung himself in his living room. Rumor has it he was found by several family members, possibly one of his children. No one from his/my former company attended the funeral.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I don’t know how to feel about this yet.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When friends asked if I harbored any ill feelings towards him, I’d always say that karma would catch up with him. I told myself I didn’t necessarily need to see it happen. I just knew that his story wouldn’t end well.

But this. This is something different.

Something to ponder.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He was a man who blamed everyone else for his troubles. So it seems fitting that he’d kill himself and let his family find him – a final ‘fuck you’ from someone who truly did not get the human condition.

Part of me wants to know every detail. Did he use a ladder? A rope? What was he wearing? Did he leave a note?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
His boundless anger showed in his face – it was always red, bordering on crimson. When he smiled, he looked just like the Grinch.

I wonder if he finally lost that look. If he appeared peaceful.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There are remembrances on his ‘death notice’ page. The trend of leaving condolences via a web site bugs the shit out of me for some reason – but I couldn’t keep myself from reading all of the posts.

He was 50. And there were 35 notes.

I don’t know if that’s high or low.

But I do know that the person they’re remembering is not the person we knew professionally. Some people actually loved him and will miss him.

The word incongruous keeps popping into my head.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Apparently his two business partners told him he was no longer welcome in the office earlier this year. He was unemployed, yet still owned part of the business. He did not receive a paycheck. He could not find work and became a stay at home dad to his four kids.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I just realized that rumor rhymes with tumor.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When people say ‘rumor has it’, it’s because no one else will claim it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
On the days when I was sitting in his office waiting to be yelled at, he’d often chat with his oldest son on the phone, the one who plays hockey.

He was stern and always ended the calls with “Work hard.”

These are words it's hard to find fault with – sound advice from any parent.

And yet if that was all his child heard – well who knows. I sure don’t.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I used to fantasize about running into him somewhere in the city. On my good days, I’d smile and nod but say nothing.

On my bad days I’d smile and ask him how life was treating him and if he'd found work and maybe call him a worthless douchebag or fuckwad or something equally charming/creative.

Am I sad because I won’t have that opportunity?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I remember being shocked when Doug admitted he was voting for Obama.

“It might not be best for me or my business, but it’s best for our country.”

It was the only thing I’d ever heard him say that was both reasonable and utterly selfless.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In my better moments, I’d recognize that he was deeply disturbed. That underneath all of that anger he carried a ton of hurt. That understanding why he acted that way was more important than how he treated others.

But I also vented about him here. A lot.

And maybe that’s why I’m struggling with how to feel right now.

I’m sad because I wasn’t more compassionate.

I don’t kid myself that I could’ve made a difference in his life – the thought is utterly ridiculous – but the truest test of our own morality, of the best version of ourselves is how we treat others when they’re hurting, when they are the worst version of themselves.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: A Kiss to Build a Dream On - Louis Armstrong
I am reading: Twilight Book 4
And I am: Still figuring it out

Yep, thought so

2009-10-02T12:56:00.002-05:00

"Hey I like that scarf," says Jim the IT guy at lunch today.

"Thanks. Do you think it makes me look like a whore?"

"Well, you always look like a whore..."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: Quiet office sounds
I am reading: Twilight book 4
And I am: A scarf-wearin' whore

GTF

2009-10-02T09:05:00.002-05:00

A spontaneous and FABULOUSLY FUN night out with our friends Steve & Judy Wednesday
Lotsa work-related compliments this week
Today we find out if Chicago gets the Olympics in 2016
I am wearing a pretty new brightly colored scarf today
A scarf that I didn’t have the courage to wear last week
Because I tend to be fashionably impaired
And think everyone is staring at me thinking “Look at that fashionably impaired whore with the ridiculous scarf”
But today I don’t care so much
An idiot called me a “kept woman” yesterday
The same fuckwad who implied I wouldn’t be any fun in Vegas
I am learning to ignore him
My back doesn’t hurt so much anymore
Jim made the BEST baked chicken EVER Monday night
Watching the Wizard of Oz Monday night
“You’re smiling like a little kid”
I shot myself in the eye with hairspray this morning and now it’s twitching like mad but I’m not letting it get to me
In fact I am relishing the fact that it probably makes me look like a fashionably impaired serial killer/whore
A good thunderstorm last night
Watching the Daily Show on my iPhone
Using the “Bump” application on my iPhone at trade shows
Doing the chicken dance at Oktoberfest in Plano last Saturday
Willy’s lederhosen
Seeing my friend Wesley on the train this morning
Jim’s winter pajamas: Van Halen sweatpants plus his short-sleeved soft flannel woobie
Dark chocolate Reese’s peanut butter cup miniatures
Chatting with Ed at the lost & found window in Union Station again
Neil Steinberg is back in the Sun-Times today
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: Loves Me Like a Rock – Paul Simon
I am reading: Twlight book 4
And I am: Twitching

GTF: Eschew the Moo Edition

2009-09-25T08:44:00.002-05:00

The moo-cows outside my sub at Mooseheart Farm
A great week in Vegas
Not losing any money because I didn't bother with gambling
Seeing the Psychedelic Furs Tuesday night
Chicken noodle soup at 11 p.m.
The 10-minute long greeting from Grommie after being gone for three days
The new Craig Ferguson book “American on Purpose” arrived from Amazon while I was gone
The ginormous zit on my cheek has finally crusted over
Dinner with the You Know Who’s at Bliss last night
Born shoes - extremely comfortable yet cute – you can find them at DSW
My new jean jacket from Cabela’s
The smiley memories brought on by “The Ghost in You”
Watching The Daily Show on my iPhone
Realizing that I can make it through any trade show if I just stock up on Vicodin and SlimFast
Not being any skinnier, but not being any fatter, either
Southwest Airlines – they treat you like people, not cattle – plus the flight attendants are entertaining and give you extra animal crackers
Realizing that I’ve somehow managed to memorize the two-letter abbreviations for all 50 states
Wearing one of my all-time favorite fall jackets today
Calling them moo-cows as if there are certain bovines who eschew the moo
~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: The Ghost in You – Psychedelic Furs
I am reading: Twilight book 4
And I am: Tired

Whore hair

2009-09-19T18:34:00.002-05:00

"Do you like my hair that way?"

"Yes," says Jim.

"But don't you think it makes me look like a whore?"

"Yes, that's why I like it."
~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: Hurt So Good - John Cougar What'shiscamp
I am reading: Twilight 4
And I am: A little better today

GTF

2009-09-18T08:58:00.001-05:00

Being jolted awake this morning by a sharp, unbelievably hot and stabby NEW pain in my right thigh and realizing that HEY, it could be worse.
It could be this hurty ALL THE TIME.
The beer truck that ran interference for me through a seriously orange light this morning
Understanding that calling yourself an expert is very dangerous
Being called “not fun” by someone who barely knows me
Learning this, from the Good Morning New Pain in my leg: I woke up yelling “OWOWOWOWOW” instead of swearing, which means I curse only for the benefit of others.
“Jesus meets a Democrat”
A wonderful and relatively pain-free 24 hours in Lake Geneva with the glorious You Know Whos
Borrowing Vicodin from Mrs. YKW in advance of receiving my own supply
How Mrs. YKW always makes breakfast for us on Sunday and it’s always very very very good
A full bottle of Vicodin all my own
Blue Cross/Blue Shield of Illinois, without whom all of this back-related care (esp. the Vicodin) would be cost prohibitive
Watching Jim and YKW tubing on the lake
My haircut, which I’ve decided isn’t sassy so much as just plain ol’ cute
Jim, who says it is his “charter” to make sure I’m happy and comfortable.
Cooking bacon
Exuberant kisses from Gromit the moment he realizes I’m home for the day
Coke in a glass bottle from the corner store
The neighbor’s flag at night with the light shining on it
Renewing my iTunes subscription to The Daily Show
My Eddie Bauer hooded jacket, which makes me feel like a little kid
Vicodin
Vicodin
Vicodin
~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: Hallelujah – Rufus Wainwright
I am reading: Twilight – Book 4
And I am: Really, really angry

GTF

2009-09-11T07:35:00.002-05:00

Remembering how everyone was a little bit nicer after the 9/11 attacks
The hopeful way I stand in front of the mirror admiring how an old pair of pants fits before sitting down and bloop! not quite...yet
Snow Leopard
The "Hide" feature on Facebook - to block out those really annoying 'friends'
Realizing who hasn't blocked me using the 'hide' feature by posting how much I love it
Looking forward to another raucous 24 hours in Lake Geneva this weekend
My chiropractor and my massage therapist
BioFreeze
Twilight, book three
To Kill a Mockingbird - I'd never seen it until last night - riveting
Salesforce.com
~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: Morning huddle
I am reading: Twilight Book Three
And I am: Frustrated

GTF

2009-09-04T08:37:00.002-05:00

Pausing to watch the sun rise over Mooseheart farm Wednesday morning
Soaking up the moon beams on lounge chairs last night
Waking up with Coolio’s Fantastic Voyage in my head
Recognizing where my fear of public speaking comes from
Hosting a fabulous webinar on Wednesday

Email from me to Jim early Tuesday: “I’m definitely hormonal.”
Coming home to two packages of Chips Ahoy cookies on the kitchen counter Tuesday night

Our good friends Steve & Judy – who turned a 4-hour painting project into a way more fun 1.5 hour project. Love you guys, thanks again.
The dusty-rosy sedum is starting to bloom in the garden that Judy designed for us
Finding out I’m allergic to horses, hamsters, and ham
Realizing I have Prius envy
Still no chips – I’ve totally lost the taste for them; have not managed to give up sweets yet. Yet.

Emailing about birthday/vacation plans for Jim and Mrs. You Know Who next February:
Hedy: How about this – You Know Who and I will cook for the Birthday Twins - whaddaya say, old man, you up for sporting an apron in honor of the two people we love most?
YKW: How bout you shut the fuck up.

An old couple smiling/dancing/singing along with “Cathy’s Clown” in Graham’s Chocolates on Saturday.
Dark chocolate almond bark from Graham’s Chocolates in Geneva
Chatting with Marco the jeweler from St. Charles at dinner last night - he says business is starting to pick up, another sign the economy might be in recovery
A grilled cheese sammich
Craig Ferguson
Getting this email late Thursday night: Our fearless leader has graciously decided to give us Friday afternoon off! So...please feel free to head out after 1:00.
Playing Facebook Scrabble and swearing a lot

Me: “Do you swear at work?”
Jim: “I think my office is one of the few places where you’ll hear ‘suck my dick, motherfucker’ in a status meeting.”

The douchebag with anger management issues sitting next to me on the train who tried to block someone from getting off before him. He didn’t win.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: Coolio – Fantastic Voyage
I am reading: Twilight book 2
And I am: Fucking awesome

Christ vs. Krispy Kreme

2009-09-02T08:33:00.002-05:00

Here’s what I love most about my commute: You never know when the next crazy person is gonna show up and yell at you.

Lately there’s been this small Southern-sounding white guy standing at the east side of the Adams Street Bridge yelling about Jesus.

“JESUS is the ONLY ANSWER for this COUNTRY!”

“Only JESUS can SAVE YOU from HELL and DAMNATION!”

“Y’ALL better WAKE UP and SMELL the JESUS, PEOPLE!”

Okay maybe I made up that last one, but you get the idea.

The first time he was just yelling. The second time, he was yelling AND shaking a Bible at us. I can't WAIT to see what props he’ll use this morning.

If he had any clue about this crowd, he’d pipe down and offer up a little bread and wine, Jesus-style. Then he’d have all of us stopping for an insanity-infused snack.

Anyhow.

This was entirely unintentional – I didn’t expect him to see it – but Tuesday morning when I walked by, I rolled my eyes.

Well maybe I did intend for him to see it. As you might imagine, it can be a bit of a challenge holding in that extra special brand of disgust borne from misdirected evangelical fervor.

“Don't ROLL your EYES, lady, JESUS is REAL!”

What I wanted to say: “I KNOW he’s REAL you proselytizing PRICK. You’re not doing your cause any favors by YELLING at all of these GOOD, hardworking PEOPLE so EARLY in the MORNING. How about you stop SHAKING that Bible and try READING it? Then maybe you’d KNOW that Jesus wasn’t about FEAR and VENGEANCE, but unconditional LOVE and FORGIVENESS. He didn’t NEED to YELL because he LIVED IT, ya cross-humpin’ FUCKHOLE. And HERE’S an IDEA: how about you GET A JOB. While you’re at it, SHUT THE FUCK UP, BE STILL AND KNOW I AM.”

What I say: Nothing. I laughed and kept walking.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Don’t you wonder what motivates these people? Did he just hop outta bed one day and say “I’m gonna go yell at commuters for the Lord. He’d really like that.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Was "cross-humpin' fuckhole" a bit over the top? I think so. Prolly didn't help my cause.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
On the west side of the same bridge - right outside Union Station - there's always a large black man yelling about Krispy Kreme donuts. He's usually got a tall stack of sweet dough-filled boxes sitting on the sidewalk next to him.

“BRING SOME KRISPY KREME DONUTS TO YOUR CO-WORKERS!”

“HOW ABOUT SOME KRISPY KREME DONUTS THIS FINE CHICAGO MORNING?”

"IGNORE THAT JESUS FREAK ACROSS THE BRIDGE AND TRY A LITTLE TASTE OF HEAVEN RIGHT HERE, BROTHERS AND SISTERS!"

Can I get an AMEN?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: Coolio – Fantastic Voyage
I am reading: New Moon – The Twilight Book II
And I am: Still

GTF

2009-08-28T09:16:00.002-05:00

The guy with the handlebar mustache reading the “Mormon Times” newspaper on the 7:22 this morning

Who knew the Mormons had so much news?

Imagining what Mormon news would be

Singing the “Good morning, good morning” song in a semi-operatic voice to Mom this morning

Jim got me one of those new ‘environmentally friendly’ (read: trendy) metal water bottles

Sunflowers growing next to a Porta-Potty along the railroad tracks

Purchased Snow Leopard last night

My literary umbrella

My jeans fit better

It’s been FOREVER since I’ve had a potato chip and I no longer miss them

Saying no to potato chips when they’re offered to me and not feeling anything like regret

Went to the Oprah show with a co-worker this week – trippy and interesting

144 people registered for my webinar next Wednesday

Two BINGOS in a row on Scrabble with Jim the IT guy this week – highest scoring game EVER

Catching up with Susan at her birthday lunch

The shed is being built today

A sassy haircut

The word ‘sassy’

Memories of our neighbor’s dog growing up – a red and white Spaniel of some sort named Sassy

Having no plans this weekend

Finally writing - and thinking about writing again

The fake palm trees in front of the Key Wester restaurant on Rt. 59

The two guys with Bibles across from me on the train now – why does this always surprise me?

The guy on the left – his Bible is very worn; the guy on the right, not so much

Pizza and movies with Tina while Jim was at the Bear’s game Saturday night

Stockholm’s with Jim last night – and the best baked potato soup on the planet

My $10, 90-minute massage at 5:30 tonight

Knowing the rule that if you’re the first person sitting in the seats upstairs on the train, that you get to put your arms towards the back of the seat

Bumping the guy next to me who obviously doesn’t know the fucking rule

Having him get a clue and move his arms to the forward, more uncomfortable position

The movie Gran Torino

Going to pick out invitations for my mother-in-law’s 80^th birthday party tomorrow

The smell of popcorn in Union Station reminds me of going to the Kmart on Groesbeck in Mt. Clemens with Mom and Grandma

The saxophone guy outside Union Station playing ‘Careless Whisper’

This dingbat at the Lost & Found window in Union Station: “Hi. I lost a small black umbrella on the train yesterday….”

Ed at the ticket window in Union Station:

“Two hundred dollars…and 60 cents for a ten-ride and a monthly.”

“Ugh…all I have is $200,” says me.

“You can owe me,” he says. “Now you’re not going to lose any sleep over this are ya,? I only did it because of your peace necklace…I’m old enough to remember when that actually meant something.”

Using this to remember all the good things in my head: Popcorn saxophone umbrellas tickets shake a leg

~~~~~~~~~~

I am listening to: A conference call with Magento

I am reading: Twilight book 1

And I am: Peaceful

Rainbrellas

2009-08-27T15:36:00.002-05:00

You can tell a lot about a person by the umbrella they use.

For example, there’s a smallish gray-haired woman standing outside the train below me right now and she’s holding an umbrella that looks like a giant sunflower. We could assume she has a relatively sunny disposition about life and/or she’s a gardener.

Of course there are folks who don’t pay attention to these things and perhaps that umbrella was a gift, in which case she could be a crazy bitch from hell who would happily stab you in the forehead with her cheerful yellow parasol.

You decide.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You see a lot of ginormous corporate golf umbrellas on rainy mornings in the Loop.

They’re pretty much portable patio-type umbrellas that could easily keep dry a family of four, two dogs, and one cranky aunt. They take up the entire sidewalk - these umbrellas from UBS and Northwestern University and Bank of America – typically protecting white-haired, unsmiling men who are completely oblivious to the wide swath they cut. This is how I see them in the office – powerful, yet profoundly unhappy guys, completely unaware of their impact on the world and only concerned with keeping themselves warm and dry.

Oh, here comes a guy right now under a giant Deutsche Bank umbrella. Deutsche Bank always makes me think Douche Bag for some reason.

Moving on, there are leopard print umbrellas and ladybug umbrellas and bright pink umbrellas - all cheerful anachronisms in this otherwise gloomy day. These small, fashionable parasol-type umbrellas are usually carried by small, fashionable women – both of which are completely fucking worthless in brutal Chicago weather.

There are the classic wood-handled umbrellas in various colors. People under these are more smiley than usual.

There was a woman carrying a red umbrella with a small plastic ketchup bottle on top right where the point would be on a regular umbrella – I’m assuming it was a promotional giveaway for Heinz or one of those other inferior brands but didn’t see the logo.

Of course, most people use small black umbrellas. They are anonymous, cheap, and temporary yet functional.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Met Susan for a birthday lunch today and she has a fantastic umbrella with fashionable French ladies on it. She says it reminds her of her time in Paris.

Very cool.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
umbrella
noun
1 they huddled under the umbrella parasol, sunshade.
2 the groups worked under the umbrella of the Communist Party aegis, auspices, patronage, protection, guardianship, support, backing, agency, guidance, care, charge, responsibility, cover.

(Apple Thesaurus)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In French, umbrella is parapluie. It’s pronounced just like it looks. This makes me inexplicably happy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
para- 2 |ˈparə|
combining form
denoting something that protects or wards off : parachute | parasol.

(Apple Dictionary)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parasol = protects + sun
Parapluie = protects + rain
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Just saw a HUGE man carrying a small black umbrella covered with pink breast cancer ribbons.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In the 90's, when I lived in my all-time favorite apartment in Geneva, I’d babysit the kids across the street once in a while.

The mother was Susan. The father was Scott. They are probably divorced now, mostly because they didn’t seem all that happy ever and also because Scott hit on me one night when his wife was at class getting another degree that she probably wouldn’t use.

Anyhow.

Their oldest daughter – Mariah, who was rather bratty due to lack of parental attention – called them rainbrellas.

This is another thing that makes me inexplicably happy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What kind of umbrella do YOU use, Hedy?

It’s pretty much as you’d expect: A real, classic-sized umbrella. Not huge. Not tiny. Sturdy. Black. With a large silverish hook for a handle. Heavy canvas material. And literary quotes in soft gray text all over it.

To be or not to be. Call me Ishmael. Oz, the Great and Terrible. You get the picture.

If I were Oprah, it would be one of my very Favorite Things.

What does my umbrella say about me? I’m sturdy. Thinky. Perhaps a little pretentious at times but chubby-cute to compensate for it. And I like things that last.

Or.

It could say that I was caught in a veritable downpour last summer prior to lunch with a friend and popped into the only store – a Barnes & Noble – on the off chance they’d have an umbrella.

You decide.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: KT Tunstall – Suddenly I See
I am reading: Twilight book 1
And I am: Soaked from the knees down

It's a legitimate question

2009-08-26T07:03:00.001-05:00

Posted on Facebook yesterday morning:

"Heather is going to see OPRAH today! Thanks so much Kathleen...can't wait!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Voicemail from Mom yesterday afternoon:

"Hello my little cupcake. i got a call from Aunt Sharon asking if you're going to be on the Oprah show today. I didn't know this. Let me know what day it's going to air. We were laughing - we didn't know if you were in the audience or a guest."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: Valkyrie
I am reading: Twilight
And I am: Not a guest

Get off my lawn: fantasy vs. reality

2009-08-25T09:28:00.005-05:00

"If we'd known you were sending Poncho Villa over to do the work, we never would've hired you," says the husband.

“What?” asks Mike the Painter.

“Mexicans,” says the wife. “Everybody knows they steal.”

Mike stopped by yesterday afternoon to drop off color samples from when he painted our house two years ago – Jim, who is usually pretty tenacious about this stuff – never wrote them down and we’re painting the shed this weekend.

That’s when Mike told us about our fuck-nut neighbors two doors down, whose house his team painted earlier this summer.

“What did you say? How did you respond?” I asked.

“What could I say? The job was done. And you can’t argue with that kind of ignorance.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~

You should know these neighbors already weren't well-liked for a variety of ‘get off my lawn’ type of run-ins over the years. But still, this recent bit of news came as a shock to both of us. It’s one thing to be an asshole. It’s another to be a racist asshole.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Later that night, we watched Gran Torino – a movie I did not expect to like because of every other Clint Eastwood movie I’ve seen.

But it was good. Very good.

“So why was it kinda funny when Clint Eastwood's character did it but not so funny when it’s our neighbors?”

That was me on the drive to the train this morning.

“Because that’s just how his character was,” says Jim. “He wasn’t really being negative to them, it’s how he was raised.”

“But he called them ‘slope’ and ‘zipperhead’,” I say. “That wasn’t very nice.”

“That’s from being in the war,” says Jim. “And he was old. It’s like my parents calling black people ‘coloreds’, they weren’t being racist, it’s just what they were called then. The bottom line is, our neighbors have no excuse. They’re not that old.”

Or maybe it’s because Clint Eastwood’s character in Gran Torino was infinitely more likable than our fuck-nut neighbors.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Editorial note: Jesus I’m rusty. Not writing every day has taken its toll and this is way more rough than it should be. Still, it’s something.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am listening to: Office sounds

I am reading: Twilight

And I am: Thinking

GTF

2009-08-21T08:50:00.002-05:00

According to Blogger I'm at 800 posts, so yay
A fantastic date last night including a loooong walk along Lake Michigan
Talking about trips to Rome to see where the Pope hangs his hat, Sydney to meet Bec finally and Bangkok to see Nelson
Loving the fact that Jim wants to go visit Nelson as much as I do
Having dreams in which I'm making better decisions
Saw an ear-nose-throat guy this week to hopefully help with these nasty sinus infections
“Take Your Cheese to Work” day sponsored by Mini Babybel - handing out little round cheeses at Union Station
The shed is coming one week from today
Arriving in the office this morning to discover I had multiple large bats in the cave - sexy!
Being kinda quiet/sad this week and being absolutely okay with it
The ability to search for songs on my iPhone
Watching classic movies with Jim: On the Waterfront and Cape Fear
Marlon Brando was a freak and Gregory Peck punches like a girl
The Twilight series of books – I’m in book 1 and it’s fabulous
The gracious co-worker who got me started on the Twilight series and loaned me the first three books
Jim is going to the Bears game tomorrow and I have a quiet night at home with Grommie, the Twilight books, and Facebook Scrabble
Living on a budget with no cab rides this week
It's payday - a concept I have not been terribly cognizant of since we got married and Jim took over our finances
Jason, the amazing massage therapist at my chiropractor’s office
Blue Cross/Blue Shield: $20 co-pay for a 90-minute massage (I’m going every week)
Working on my marketing plan/budget for 2010 – ahead of schedule
smcFanControl for my MacBook - puts me in control and cools it down nicely
The way we use words from previous Facebook Scrabble games to name new ones – right now I’m in the middle of ‘Mittens’ with Nelson and ‘Phat Dope’ with Jim the IT guy
A fun Saturday with Jim’s family, especially our two nephews Logan and Donovan
A nap on the porch with the little guy Donovan
Not needing to know all the answers so much anymore
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: If I Ever Feel Better - Phoenix
I am reading: Twilight, book 1
And I am: Kinda sad

The signal

2009-08-19T20:43:00.002-05:00

"There was a large woman in a small car next to me today. She had a ginormous, open box of Tampax sitting in her rear window."

"It's a signal," says Jim. "It says 'Watch out, I'm bleeding.'"

~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am listening to: Body of Lies

I am reading: Twilight by Stephenie Meyer

And I am: Still laughing

GTF

2009-08-14T08:43:00.002-05:00

My Official Route 25 Parking Pass!
An unexpected evening with friends and the Kane County Cougars
Receiving the honor of the very first shot from a fresh bottle of Gentleman Jack
Sitting in my car finishing a glass of water because I’m not stressed about missing the train because of my Official Route 25 Parking Pass
My new toothbrush: The Colgate 360. It’s got this rough, rubbery surface on the back of the brush that massages the inside of my mouth and it feels surprisingly gooooood
They’re pouring concrete for the new shed today
Niko’s Lodge in Wasco – fabulous food and great service, plus fire pits out front and s’more supplies inside the door
Seeing three shooting stars through the sun roof on the way home from dinner
Jim, Grom and me, lying on lawn chairs in the backyard looking for more shooting stars
Arguing with Jim and then laughing together right after
Gomez – See the World
Sha la la la la la - sha la la la la la - sha la la la la la
The best sweet corn on the planet from that farm stand on Bliss Road
Writing a presentation abstract that got (tentatively) accepted for the Internet Retailer conference in Chicago next year
My friend Susan’s Soon-to-be-Famous Chocolate Polka Dot cookies sold out her first Saturday at the Batavia farmer’s market
Eating almost an entire bag of Susan’s Soon-to-be-Famous Chocolate Polka Dot cookies because I ‘don’t want them to melt’ - as if I need that excuse.
Wonderful, lovely pottery bought with Judy at the Art/Fart in Your Eye Festival
Did I mention my new Route 25 Parking Pass?
A message from an ex co-worker on Facebook that totally made my day
“You can’t fight crazy”
Finding my new haircut in this month’s Real Simple magazine
Feeling better finally
Coming to the realization that Cheez-Its are NOT crackers
Still, no chips or other salty crunchy snacks for what is it, 7 weeks now? That’s gotta count for something.
Blue Cross/Blue Shield: $16 for an adjustment and a 90-minute massage with the loveable sadist Jason at my chiropractor’s office
“You losing weight? I can see it in your face.”
Understanding how unbelievably blessed I am more and more every day
~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: Gomez – See the World
I am reading: Content for the new web site
And I am: Blessed

GTF

2009-08-07T00:56:00.002-05:00

Here goes:

11 years married and he still makes me laugh every day

This silly table planter to the left which I've managed to keep alive most of the summer

Busy, busy work week in spite of having the third sinus infection in as many months

Pouring concrete for a shed this Monday

No crunchy-salty-chippy snacks for six weeks now (we'll just ignore the pretzel incident from last week, shall we?)

New case for the iPhone

"Ryan update?"

A Bingo on FB Scrabble - "Mittens"

It finally feels sorta like summer outside

Realizing that I actually do need quite a bit of alone time in order to be creative and that the lesson which posed the opposite from charm school was, in fact, utter bullshit

Still being able to have a fun, interesting conversation with your husband after knowing him nearly 20 years

"They don't have the kind of super duper tampons I was looking for."

"There's a fresh bucket of shop rags in the garage."

The FAQs on Stephen King's web site make him sound like a total douchebag

Ken Follett knows how the hell to host a fan page, so suck it, Stephen King

The "And the Pursuit of Happiness" blog at the New York Times - LOVE IT

Taking pics of Jim & Grom with my 'good' camera

Okay, folks. The reality is I'm exhausted. I haven't slept more than 1 or 2 hours each night all week. I'm up right now again because of this fucking miserable sinus infection and all I want/need/crave is some fucking SLEEP. This is not a good thing. It's a What The Fuck thing.

Sitting on the porch watching the mosquitos bombard the screen above Jim's head

Oberweis chocolate ice cream in a bowl, nothing more, nothing less

Working from home in my 'office' upstairs instead of on the couch - Jim calls it my fort

Going to The Art in Your Eye Festival this Saturday with Judy - we call it the Fart in Your Eye Festival because of a poorly designed sign

Susan's delicious cookies at the Batavia Farmer's Market Saturday morning - go get 'em!

Filed/painted my nails tonight

Have an appointment with an ENT specialist in two weeks

Debating paranoid morons on Facebook

P's are definitely coming back this month - YAY!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am listening to: Middle of the night house sounds

I am reading: Nothing interesting

And I am: Exhausted

So really

2009-07-31T08:57:00.002-05:00

Now, on top of everyone starting sentences with "So...." (17 times in less than 10 minutes during a meeting this week, seriously) I've noticed this other trendy bullshit thing: Really?

Trendy hipsters use "Really?" as a kinder gentler version of "You are so full of shit."

I thought it was just a midwestern thing until it happened in The Hangover last night.

Which is an excellent movie, by the way - right on par with Schindler's List - but it takes place in Vegas with drugs and strippers and whathaveyou.

Anyhow, good things Friday. Yep.

I am cranky today. But I will forge ahead as if my hormones aren't raging like the snows of Capistrano or something.

Here goes:

Going out for a movie with Jim for the first time in over a year.

The Hangover - "I didn't know they gave rings out at the Holocaust"

A quiet day last Sunday - just Jim, Grom and me hanging by the pool all day - can't remember the last time we did that, just us

Pilates on Tuesday

Mom & Da are coming back in August

Work is going exceptionally well - so much is happening it's hard to keep up and I love it

Jim making me laugh on the way to the train this morning even though I didn't feel like it

5 weeks without snack foods - although I broke down and had three pretzels last night so I guess it really hasn't been 5 weeks but fuck you I'm fixin' to bleed and if I WANT TO HAVE A GODDAMN PRETZEL I WILL GODAMMIT.

Sigh

Got my teeth cleaned this week

Went to the chiropractor too

My soap order arrived from Crabtree & Evelyn (my skin is soooo soft again this morning)

Two white rocking chairs make the front porch look very homey

Assembling said rocking chairs with Jim in the garage last Sunday - we're a good team

Sitting on said rocking chairs with Jim night before last and marveling at the amount of traffic passing by

Road the bus/El all week - only one cab ride for a lunch in the Loop

Playing Scrabble with Nelson and Jim the IT guy via my iPhone (yes, we're still playing)

My new favorite word: ITard (An IT guy who is not very bright)

I'm staying overnight in the city tonight and thinking about going to the Apple store on Michigan avenue to treat myself to a new smallish something

I opened up a separate bank account for myself so that I can live off of an allowance rather than just spending money willy-nilly and wreaking havoc on our finances (yes, this is a very good thing)

So maybe I won't treat myself to a smallish something now that I'm on a budget

Or maybe I'll just use my old debit card One Last Time since the new one hasn't arrived yet

Seeing Susan on the train last night

Knowing my husband and all of our friends will be having a fantastic, fun-filled weekend while I'm sitting in class Friday night, all day Saturday and all day Sunday

Okay this is not a good thing at all (and an ancillary reason for my crankiness) but I'd like to think everyone will miss me

Bleh.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am listening to: Quiet, quiet office

I am reading: Presentations abstracts for IRCE 2010

And I am: CRANKY

Good Things Friday

2009-07-24T10:56:00.003-05:00

My friend Mrs. You Know Who asked "Where's good things Friday?"

So here I am

Fabulous, amazing wonderful 10-day visit with my parents - LOVE THEM

Four weeks tomorrow no chips

Giving up sweets tomorrow for good - wish me luck - this could get ugly

Met Jennifer the massage therapy student on the bus Wednesday morning

Dinner at the You Know Who's Wednesday night, figuring out the Big 50th Birthday Trip

"You're doing it wrong"

Scrabble on my iPhone with Jim the IT guy and Nelson!

Birthday festivities for Corbin last night - a lovely, wonderful evening (plus cake)

Michael Jackson music

I LOVE MY JOB - even though it's keeping me insanely busy

The Dow was up over 9k

What goes around definitely comes around - I have an amazing update on The Turd that I will share next week.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am listening to: Michael Jackson - Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough

I am reading: Nothing much

And I am: Fabulous

Happy scrappy fuckity-foo-foo-Friday

2009-07-17T09:07:00.002-05:00

Mom & Da are here at least through the weekend and I haven’t spent this much time with them since I moved to Illinois 20 years ago.
The Toyota Prius ads with all the people in the landscape make me inexplicably happy.
Crabtree & Evelyn Nantucket Briar soap makes my skin sooooo soft.
The truck pull last night and the Megasauraus, which ate a car and then set it on fire.
Being called the “Titty Lady” by a bum outside my office.
No potato chips, Doritos or Tostitos for three weeks tomorrow.
President Obama’s speech to the NAACP.
Not living on Facebook so much anymore.
Playing Scrabble with Jim the IT guy via my iPhone.
Oberweis turtle sundaes with butter pecan ice cream.
The ‘slut slippers’ Mom and me bought at the Batavia craft fair last weekend.
Jim’s beer can chicken.
Not reading the news as much as I used to.
You can tell the really hardcore Christians because the crosses around their necks always feature the not-so-Cuddly-Wuddly, but Skinny and Suffering Christ.
My IRA is finally moving in the right direction by a healthy, satisfying amount - hasn’t done that since I can remember.
The chunky yet elegant bracelet Mom made – I’ve worn it two days in a row – my new favorite.
My new shampoo (Leonor Greyl) smells incredible and doesn’t require conditioner.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
HedyBlog Mini Quiz:

Which group of words appeals to you more?

Open, creative, progressive, diverse, free.

Exclusive, traditional, consistent, classic, secure.

Just curious.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: Talk Dirty to Me – Poison
I am reading: Nothing much
And I am: Thinky

Good things Friday

2009-07-10T08:38:00.003-05:00

Mom & Da ARE HERE! YAY!
I have no idea where this week went - work is so amazingly cool/busy/crazy I haven't felt this energized about what I do in years.
Two weeks since I've had chips, Cheetos or Tostitos. Yay, me.
FABULOUS Fourth of July weekend
Swimming in Lake Geneva
Peeing in Lake Geneva
Mine's behavin'
Went to The Bristol Tap last night and somehow resisted the chips that always accompany the best burger on the planet.
Eating Quaker Oatmeal for breakfast - the cinnamon swirl is best
I need to write a 500 word article for the Illinois Technology Association by noon and I don't even have a topic yet.
Okay maybe that's not a good thing but it's on my mind.
Pilates on Tuesday kicked my ass.
The window washer who fell three stories down the building across the street yesterday is okay.
Seeing the 20 or so firefighters who gathered to rescue the window washer hanging from the side of the building across the street.
Dole Pina Colada juice is outstanding. Especially with Capt. Morgan. Try it.
My creative guy is finally back from Disney World.
Megan at the Kinko's in Aurora is a rockstar - the sign she made for my show in San Diego is fabulous.
Mom made her world famous potato salad for the little dinner gathering we're having tonight.
I had an excellent dream last night about telling off my cousin and his C-U-Next-Tuesday wife - it was extremely healing.
Talking with Mom on the porch.
The User Experience Assessment we did for a hardware store chain in Canada was a big hit.
Watching Penn & Teller's Bullshit show with Mom, Da & Jim last night.
"I feel like we got a lot of decisions made in this meeting."
Going to the grocery store with Da.
San Pellegrino Aranciata is delicious
Mom's Navy cake
My boss might actually have some billable work for me on a writing project for a client.
Judy's gonna be a gramma again - YAYYYYY!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'm listening to: INXS - Don't Change (BEST SONG EVAR)
I am reading: Nothing
And I am: Happy

The fairy tale me

2009-07-06T08:36:00.002-05:00

There’s a mirror in the foyer that Jim gave me for Christmas many years ago.

It’s smallish and round with a dark metal frame shaped like flowers and leaves. Pretty, but not too girly-girly. Like something from a fairy tale with a princess and an ugly cruel stepmother with a big hairy wart that smells like bad cheese. Just the wart, not the whole stepmother.

Anyhow.

It’s a skinny mirror – you know the ones – it magically makes me look at least 10 lbs. lighter.

I don’t even know why I look in it, really. It’s not a true reflection of reality.

Maybe I look because it gives me a glimpse of what could be.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You've probably noticed I’m not writing any more. I’m pretty pissed off about it.

Because of charm school, I’ve lost the part of myself that liked this – writing and ranting and having fun with words.

Here’s hoping it comes back someday.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Not a huge fan of the word foyer, by the way. Especially snooty-falooty people who say it like ‘foy-A’.

These are the same folks who pronounce vase like ‘vaaaz’.

As in ‘The vaaaz in the foy-A is filled with juicy wet dog boogers.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So back to this mirror.

Love love loved fairy tales as a child. Hell, I still love ‘em.

And I’ve read a lot of them, but don’t ever recall a story like this:

What if, Once Upon a Time there was a mirror that could show you the best version of yourself?

The what-could’ve-been version who made better decisions and didn’t eat entire bags of Ruffles Sour Cream & Cheddar chips in one sitting?

Wouldn’t that be cool?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
fairy tale (also fairy story)
noun
a children's story about magical and imaginary beings and lands.
• [as adj. ] denoting something regarded as resembling a fairy story in being magical, idealized, or extremely happy : a fairy-tale romance.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The point is, because of charm school I am catching glimpses of this slightly better, fairy tale version of myself.

It’s kinda cool when it isn’t scaring the living shit out of me.

Because this new Hedy is more sociable. Has more energy. Is more conscious and aware. Is eating less. Doing more. Is more compassionate. And less temperamental.

However.

It’s coming at a price and I am seriously mourning the old version of myself. The version that liked hanging out here with you and ranting about silly shit.

Furthermore, if you’ve ever read the really old, non-Disney fairy tales, you know they're often scary and bloody and not all of them have happy endings.

So right now, the fairy tale version of me is wandering around in the woods, ate all of her fucking breadcrumbs miles ago, and is hoping that her fairy godmother will arrive - POOF - soon.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: Green Day - Basket Case
I am reading: Nothing much
And I am: Reflective

Good things Friday

2009-06-26T09:20:00.002-05:00

Slow news week, eh? Here’s when I turned off the TV:

“Dame Elizabeth Taylor has released a statement saying she can’t release a statement at this time.”

I can't be the only one who knew Michael Jackson would die early. He was a tortured, unhealthy soul and here's hoping he's finally at peace.

Here’s good things Friday:

Texting Jim about Michael Jackson yesterday:
Jim: “I wonder how he died.”
Me: “Who nose?”

Mudbone, sitting next to me on the train this morning: “I used to bleach myself,” he says. “They used to sell it down South. That bleaching agent was poplar.”

Jim texting me Richard Pryor quotes from Boston all morning (And I’m prayin’ to God I ain’t gotta kiss nothin’.)

The Grandfather from Heidi (Shirley Temple version) sitting next to me on the train last night, talking dirty to his spouse: “You keep feeling better like this, Sweetie, and tomorrow maybe we can make noises.”

This e-mail exchange from early yesterday:

To: Jim, You Know Who, Mrs. You Know Who
From: Hedy

Farrah Fawcett was only two years younger than my mom. There’s a joke in there somewhere.

To: Jim, Mrs. You Know Who, Hedy
From: You Know Who

Unlike Farrah’s, I still have the swimsuit/nipple poster of your mom in my room.

Another fabulous weekend visit with Nelson, Kyra, and Chad.
A fabulous but way-too-quick visit with Susie and her family.
Shopping at the Little Traveler with Suze on a Monday afternoon.
Impromptu post-charm school drinks with Jim, Corb & Debbie at the Caboose bar in Geneva
“Sticky tits”
Realizing that saying yes increases my energy
Swimming at night with Grommie and the stars
A text just now from Kathleen, our recruiting goddess: “You in the office yet? Feel like going to the Cubs/Sox game today?”
Going to the Cubs/Sox game on a beautiful Friday afternoon.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: Mudbone yapping into his phone
I am reading: Nothing
And I am: Smiley

Word peeve

2009-06-25T09:21:00.002-05:00

Got an e-mail just now from the Business Network Chicago:

"IF you are in transition, here are a couple of good people to follow on Twitter..."

In transition?

What a lovely way of saying out of work and couch-bound with one orange-fingered hand in a bag of Crunchy Cheetos and the other flipping channels between Oprah Winfrey and soft core porn.
~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: Co-workers discussing BBQ stuff
I am reading: Nothing
And I am: Not in transition

Today

2009-06-22T12:21:00.002-05:00

Susie and family arrive within the hour, but thought I'd share this amazing 'JesusPhone' story with you (it's a long read, but so worth it):

http://happywaffle.livejournal.com/5890.html

I have more thoughts on this - thankfully the thief wasn't armed/dangerous/insane - but we'll revisit this topic another day.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am listening to: Birds chirping from the side yard

I am reading: Nothing at the moment

And I am: Looking forward to another hot summer day with good friends from far away

Good things Friday

2009-06-19T08:51:00.002-05:00

A great weekend with Nelson
Looking forward to another great weekend with Nelson, Kyra and Chad
Two graduation parties on Saturday
It's not raining right now
Fuck You Tuesday helped me get angry again
Yesterday was my one-year anniversary in the melty chocolate chip job and the team brought in donuts, plus the recruiting director sent me a wonderful e-mail
Chick dinner with Mrs. You Know Who and YKW's sister Wednesday night
Working on a strategic planning project
Eligible for 401k now
A few good leads from the Chicagoland Chamber breakfast yesterday
Ran into my old editor from the Daily Herald at the breakfast - he's got a great gig in PR now
The house is relatively clean
The flowers are growing like mad
Cut the backyard last night
Downloaded the iPhone 3.0 OS upgrade - it's considerably faster, and now I can cut/paste and search
Found out The Turd (remember him?) was fired, and the person who took over (someone I worked with briefly there - long story) wants to meet and talk about my original marketing plan/strategy
I am wearing pants that didn't fit a month ago
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: Muted office conversations
I am reading: Four Seasons: The Story of a Business Philosophy by Isadore Sharp
And I am: Sorta giggly reading all that old Turd stuff

Shit-pants

2009-06-17T09:28:00.002-05:00

Through an informal and ongoing survey, I have learned that practically everyone I know has shit his or her pants as an adult.

Yes. Everyone.

Except me.

I’m still waiting. This makes me nervous. Extremely nervous.

Because when nearly everyone you know has shit themselves, it’s not good being the odd person out. It’s not normal. It means that I’m overdue.

Hedy, you’re telling us that you actually want to shit your pants?

YES!

Seriously. It’s like the first time I dropped my motorcycle.

I was making a left turn from Route 31 onto Mooseheart Road and didn’t accelerate enough so the bike stalled and fell over. I wasn’t hurt – I let it fall and kept standing. But in addition to that rush of OHFUCKWHATNOW adrenaline and a bit of fear about causing an accident at this busy intersection, I actually felt relieved.

“Well, I got that over with,” I remember thinking. “I knew it was going to happen, now it has and I don’t have to worry about it.”

That’s how I feel about shitting my pants. I really just want to get it over with.

I want to be like everyone else.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Combos,” says one shit-pants friend of mine who shall remain anonymous. “Eat a bag of Combos. That’s what did it for me.”

That would be cheating. You can’t force yourself to shit your pants anymore than you can force yourself to drop a bike or laugh at something that isn’t funny.

It just has to happen. Spontaneously. Uncontrollably. Often publicly.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Best case scenario:

It’s a Friday night out with all of our friends – drinking and eating and laughing and laughing and eating and drinking.

I’m all stuffed and smiley-faced.

Someone I know and love does or says something that is just bust-a-gut hilarious and Voila! I laugh so hard I fill my pants.

That's how it should happen for all of us desperate skid-free folks waiting for the inevitable - in the company of our very own shit-pants support group.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: Nothing
I am reading: Yield Software Getting Started Guide
And I am: Anxiously waiting

Fuck You Tuesday

2009-06-16T09:28:00.004-05:00

“The class is changing me in small ways,” I say. “Like this morning the septic alarm went off…normally I’d wake up Jim and make him go downstairs to turn it off but I got out of bed and did it myself.”

“I didn’t even hear it,” says Jim.

“You need a class to learn how to be nice?” asks Nelson.

“Kinda. I guess. Maybe. Fuck you.”

“Well I don’t like it,” says Nelson. “Where’s the bitchy Heather? Since you started taking this class you’re all sunshine and bunnies. And cut the Good Things Friday shit on the blog, would ya please? Nobody cares.”

“Fine. Fuck you.”

He’s right, though. I’ve lost a bit of that Fuck-You-I’m-Heather attitude because of charm school. Probably another reason why I haven’t been writing so much. Lost my edge.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So here goes. It’s Fuck You Tuesday.

Fuck you, Metra for cancelling the 5:49 to Aurora last night and cramming all of us on the 5:44. I stood in a fucking aisle all the way to fucking Lisle with some Asian bitch pushing into me and sweat dripping from my earlobes down to my asshole.

Fuck you, Twitter and Facebook and LinkedIn for distracting people from what’s really important.

Fuck you, charm school for forcing me to think about all of this fucking baggage from childhood. You say we create the lives we have – well looking around, mine isn’t so goddamn bad is it, ya fuckos?

Fuck you, sweater with the bleach stain on it.

Fuck you, people who talk too much.

Fuck you, thorny weeds in our backyard.

Fuck you, birds for shitting all over my deck and patio.

Fuck you, people who walk slow and block the sidewalk.

Fuck you, Rod Blagojevich and your stupid fucking wife for not having a little sense and a little more humility to go away quietly.

Fuck you idiot jealous control-freak women who give the rest of us a bad rap.

Fuck you idiot men for killing your wives rather than divorcing them.

Fuck you, people who aren’t talking to me anymore (you know who you are) – Good Riddance and pass the peanuts.

Fuck you, Apple for making it cost-prohibitive for your best, most loyal customers to get a new iPhone 3Gs. I’ll keep my sorry-ass old iPhone until it’s nothing but a brick before I give you more of my money.

Fuck you, 7 Pounds, with your seriously flawed premise and M. Night Shyamalan wanna-be ending.

Fuck you, Microsoft Update and any software update installer bullshit application.

Fuck you ingrown toenail.

Fuck you, AC/DC, your music sucks.

Fuck you, Rush Limbaugh. And fuck you, George Bush and Dick Cheney.

Fuck you, Colin Powell for not having enough sack to stay in and fight Bush&Co.

Fuck you, one-and-a-half hour commute.

Fuck you, bunnies and fuck you sunshine.

Fuck you, septic system for waking me up early on Saturday and starting this whole fucking mess.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: Fuck You by Freddie Fuckstick and the Fuckettes
I am reading: None of your goddamn business
And I am: Angry

Good things Friday

2009-06-12T08:59:00.003-05:00

It is a BEAUTIFUL day
Jim is finally done traveling - YAY!
Nelson arrives from Bangkok this afternoon
Judy came over last Friday - a lovely surprise visit
A long, lovely e-mail from DewMama regarding yesterday's post
Laughing with Mom this morning over MyFace - her version of Facebook and MySpace
This African proverb: "Much silence makes a powerful noise"
Date night with Jim in the city yesterday - a mini pub crawl through River North
I'm finally writing again
A wonderful, thoughtful dead-on comment from Crusty on yesterday's post - Thank you!
Learned tons of new stuff this week
An always hilarious visit with Mr. & Mrs. You Know Who Wednesday night
Pilates two weeks in a row - Woo HOOO!
Planning birthday parties for people we love
The French bulldog puppy in the neighborhood by my office
Hi my name is Heather and I'm a cabaholic; it's been four days since my last cab ride
Taking the #66 bus from Ohio to Orleans yesterday
A small possibility of going to Rome with Jim in October
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: I'm Yours - Jason Mraz
I am reading: Neil at the Sun-Times
And I am: Smiley

Stranded in the land of average

2009-06-11T09:02:00.002-05:00

I’ve always marveled at these rare people who know early on exactly what they want to do with their lives. I know maybe three of them.

One is a teacher. One is a firefighter. And right now I can’t think of the third.

At some point, the rest of us realize that we need to pay the bills so we fall into careers that sorta kinda feel comfortable then we proceed to mill about our lives vaguely dissatisfied – numbing that feeling with things like alcohol or food or TV or whathaveyou.

There are millions of people just like me – stranded in the land of average – waiting to find out what we’ll be when finally we grow up.

Don’t get me wrong, I like my job. But I don’t believe Cuddly Wuddly Christ tapped my little fresh-from-the-womb forehead and said “Hedy, You Will Be A Tech Marketer.”

Does that make sense?

Whoa, Hedy, wait a minute. It sounds to me like you’ve got a pretty fucking awesome life. You’ve got a husband who loves you in spite of your hormonally induced nut-jobbery. You live with the World’s Greatest Dog. You are blessed with family, friends, health, and more than your share of laughter. You want for nothing. It sounds to me like you need to be a little more grateful, Miss Pissy Pants.

Yep. Right.

I’ve got everything except that higher purpose and meaning driving what I do. I could be satisfied but I’m being honest here, admitting I’m not.

So here are the next questions:

1) Is it the job? Or is it that I’m simply not injecting more of myself into it?
2) Is it that I need a new career?
3) What would that look like?
4) Where do I start?
5) What do I LOVE to do?

I’m going to start with that last question because it’s the easiest one to answer. I am a writer. I love telling stories. They don’t have to be my stories – I’m happy to write stories about other people doing great things. I’m pretty goddamn good at it, too.

I also like giving massages. And I’m goddamn good at that, too. Ask Jim and Gromit.

I like traveling and learning about different people and places.

I’m passionate about the news and politics.

And I like helping people. But not in the wipe-yer-ass way. Those folks, bless their twisted little hearts, get a Do Not Pass Go Do Not Collect $100 ticket straight to Heaven.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Here’s where I’m at right now: The mature thing to do is inject every part of myself more fully into my current work with the belief that my Higher Purpose (whatever the hell that is) will come.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Here’s my favorite example of what it means to really put yourself into your job – and if you’re tired of hearing about Portillo’s, I’m sorry, but a lot of profoundly Good and Right things are happening there.

There’s a rather large smiley African American woman working the pick-up counter at Portillo’s at Clark and Ontario in Chicago. When your order is ready, she lets you know by shouting:

“NUMBER 1 YOUR ORDER IS DONE!”

or

“NUMBER 5 YOUR FOOD HAS ARRIVED!”

or

“NUMBER 3 YOU BETTER COME AND SEE ME!”

You get the idea. She makes it fun. You never know what she’s gonna say but it always makes people smile.

And if you need an extra fork or some mayonnaise or something, she’s all about “What can I get for you, baby?” and “You’re welcome, honey.”

Think about it. She’s handing out fast food to people. It could be categorized as one of the more mundane jobs on the planet. She doesn’t have to make it special or interesting.

But she loves it. She obviously loves people. And because of who she is and her infectious attitude, she makes the whole experience special for everyone.

That’s how I want to be with my job.

It’s powerful. Recognizing that I can make this difference. It's not that my job is changing - but my perception of it is changing.

So even if you're doing a job that you don't really love, you can do it in a way that makes a difference to other people.

Because ultimately it’s not about finding the perfect job or the perfect husband or the perfect anything, it’s about what you put into it that makes it perfect for you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: Breathe Me – Sia
I am reading: Doctoral papers from my coach
I am: It’s 8:09 AND I AM JUST FINE

All writey then

2009-06-10T09:04:00.003-05:00

So part of the reason I haven’t been writing much is that I’m learning a lot.

This class – Jim calls it charm school – is consuming me. It is forcing me to look at what I do, why I do it, and how I feel.

That last one is tough for me. How I feel.

Remember that one bathtub scene in Pretty Woman? Not where Julia Roberts does a naked soapy impression of Prince. The other one – when Richard Gere explains how he was “very ANGRY” with his father and that years of therapy helped him say that without freaking himself right out the door.

Well I’m not angry with my father. But I am learning tons of really cool stuff about why I am the way I am and why I do some of the bat-shit crazy stuff I do.

Example, Hedy?

Here’s a big one. Get ready.

For most of my adult life I’ve been utterly convinced that something really horrible will happen and my life will come crashing down around me, and that it will be ALL MY FAULT.

It’s called catastrophic thinking.

It’s the idea that if things are going particularly well then I’m over due for something truly awful to happen.

The reality is, bad shit happens all the time.

But fantasizing about it – and no, I’m sorry to report that all my fantasies don’t involve a big fat Russell Crowe-Craig Ferguson sandwich – is NOT healthy. Some of us have negative fantasies all the time. Some people even act on them.

Anyhow. I’m learning that catastrophic thinking is not healthy; that living in fear that your life could come crashing down around you at any moment is not good.

Can you see how thinking that way all or even part of the time would have an impact on how I view the world and my role in it? It has given a decidedly temporary and unsettled feeling to any major endeavor of mine. Which might explain all of that career related turmoil from before.

So I’m learning how to change my patterns of thinking. Here's the really cool thing: changing the way I think is also changing the way I behave.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Remember the phrase ‘not so much’? It was the trendy thing to say about a year ago.

Here’s the most recent language trend I’m noticing: Beginning sentences with ‘So’.

Here’s how it goes. Ask someone a question like “How will you prepare dinner tonight?”

The trendy word hipster will say “So I want to make a salad, right? So I plan on cutting up the lettuce, tomatoes, cucumbers, and olives first.”

See?

So let me know if you’re noticing it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
You want another big learn from my class?

Shit I don’t even know where to start on this one.

How we perceive God (especially from childhood) has an impact on how we perceive the world.

If you grew up with a punishing, vengeful God who gets off on getting all smotey on sinful six-year-olds, you’re probably going to have a different perspective on society than if you grew up with a benevolent, forgiving God who loves you know matter what you do.

It’s Old Testament vs. New Testament for you Bible freaks.

The concepts are abundance versus scarcity. Faith versus fear. Love and acceptance versus hatred and punishment.

How do you view the world?

Is it an abundant, loving place? Or is life scary and scarce?

Here’s where I’m at:

I grew up in a house where love was abundant. Hopefully you know by now that my Mom and Dad rocked the whole parenting thing and that my childhood was filled with lots of love and play. My brother Eric and I knew pretty much every day of our lives that we were loved and that we mattered.

However, I grew up with a God who was scary and vengeful. He did not love me no matter what. He loved me ONLY if I followed his impossible rules ALL THE TIME.

Here’s little 6-year-old Hedy: “Don’t lie? What the fuck? Are you kidding me?”

Kids lie. It’s part of growing up. It’s part of how we assert ourselves into adulthood.

Christ got that. He knew that people make mistakes. Sometimes really big ones.

But we’re all worthy of love and forgiveness. ALL THE TIME.

From this class, I'm realizing that what I learned about God and religion as a child contradicted the loving way my parents lived with us kids every day.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Here's an example of how I might apply what I'm learning to the Wife Rage situation from yesterday:

Me: So why do you get so angry when you can't reach your husband on the phone?
Mrs. Lecter: Because I'm afraid he's cheating on me.
Me: Why?
Mrs. Lecter: Because I'm afraid he will leave me for someone else.
Me: Why?
Mrs. Lecter: Because I don't feel good about myself and he might find someone he likes better.
Me: Why don't you feel good about yourself?
Mrs. Lecter: Because I'm not as young-thin-fun-sexy-whatever as I used to be.
Me: So the problem isn't so much with your husband as with you, right?
Mrs. Lecter: Fuck you.
Me: No, really. You're angry with your husband because he doesn't answer the phone but you're really angry and afraid because of how you feel about yourself. It really has nothing to do with his behavior, and everything to do with yours. Right?
Mrs. Lecter: Maybe. But fuck you anyway.

It's a process. See? The light bulbs don't always spark immediately but it's the talking/thinking part that matters.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Anyhow. Sorry to get all preachy.

Some of you probably don’t want to think about this stuff. Hell, half the time I don’t want to think about it. It’s exhausting. But it’s worth it.

I’m changing in small ways. People I love are noticing it. And that’s pretty cool.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: Quiet office sounds
I am reading: Neil Steinberg at the Sun-Times
And I am: Working on it

Taxicab confession

2009-06-09T07:03:00.005-05:00

I have a problem.

No shit, Hedy.

Right. Fine. I have many problems.

But to be a little more specific, my current Major Problem involves cabs. Yes, cabs.

I am addicted to taxicabs.

It’s coming up on a year that I’ve been at the Wondrous Melty Chocolate Chip Job in the Egregiously Far and Inconvenient River North neighborhood of Chicago. And while I'm still rockin' the aforementioned cookie sheet, anything I found remotely interesting or convenient about public transportation is gone-daddy-gone.

So I’ve been sneaking cab rides. Lots of cab rides.

It goes something like this:

“I really need to get to the office-home-doctor-lunch-seminar-dinner-store-dry cleaner so I’ll just grab a cab. It’s faster.”
~~~~~~~~~~~
“You’re taking cabs?” asks Jim. “That’s where all your money is going? I thought you had a crack habit.”

“Crack is probably cheaper. And think of how much fun I’d be if I lost all my teeth.”
~~~~~~~~~~~
Here’s the upside to this unsavory addiction: I have tons of cab driver stories. I meet guys – they’re all guys – from all over. Mostly from Pakistan for some reason. But also Nigeria. Afghanistan. Turkey. Syria. And one remarkably bad driver from China.

Anyhow.

Last night I got a dead ringer for Hannibal Lecter. I never caught his country of origin and here’s why:

Do do do di do
Do do do da do

Do do do di do
Do do do da do

Shortly after climbing in and saying my standard “HihowareyouUnionStationplease” his phone starts ringing.

Do do do di do
Do do do da do

Do do do di do
Do do do da do

And ringing.

Do do do di do
Do do do da do

Do do do di do
Do do do da do

And ringing.

Not irritating. Just a sing-songy sort of soft ring floating back from the depths of the front seat.

After about the fourth call, I say “Somebody really needs you.”

“This is Secretary of Interior,” says Hannibal, glancing back in the mirror. “You know who this is?”

“Your wife?”

“Yes, she thinks I am with someone else when I don’t answer,” he explained. “She doesn’t like it.”

Call me twisted but I look straight into his bright blue Hannibal-esque eyes and say: “Well, you are with someone else right now, aren’t you?”

Which earns me a great big belly laugh and this: “Next time she call, how about you pick up? Okay? We see what happens.”

Then we both giggle maniacally like serial killers on crack.

This poor guy gets at least 20 calls in between my office and the train station. The phone rings the entire trip. We feel what could only be described as Wife Rage oozing from his phone.

“Why don’t you just pick it up?” I ask. “It’s okay.”

“No, it is my policy,” he explains. “I do not talk on my phone when I am working. When I am driving. My wife, she knows this.”
~~~~~~~~~~~
But Hedy, what if it was a wife-related emergency?

Right.

What if?

I'd believe that IF he hadn't said the thing about how “She thinks I am with someone else when I don’t answer” and “She doesn’t like it.”

If by some dark miracle it actually was an emergency, this bitch has been calling wolf for so long the poor guy wouldn't believe it anyhow.
~~~~~~~~~~~
By the end of the ride, I really really really want to pick up that phone.

Here’s what I want to say:

“Honey, I’ve been there. I’ve been you. Desperately dialing my guy and getting No Answer until poor little Hedy is ready to go kersplody all over the phone. It’s time. Time to let it go. He’s cute. But he’s not cheating on you. He loves you. You’re the one he comes home to every night. You are the best thing that ever happened to him. Start acting like it. You may not be the one he thinks about every time he jacks off in the shower, but if you’re keeping him happy in the sack he won’t be doing that so much. Sure, he had some fun before he met you. That's a good thing. All that fun helped him figure out what he likes and he likes YOU. If you don’t trust him by now you really need to look at yourself for the reason why because he’s never given you a really good reason to doubt him. Fine, you may not trust other women, but you can definitely trust him. TRUST HIM. He’s working. He’s fixing a furnace. He’s in a meeting with a client. Or he’s driving some cab-addicted chubby chick to the train station. But he’s thinking about you the whole time and wishing you’d just chill the fuck out and let him do his job. His job is important. Not as important as you and the kids, but it’s important. So take a deep breath, put the phone down and let him do it. Thank you.

By the way your husband is really hot. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

Okay maybe not that last part. But you get it.

Meanwhile, back at Hannibal’s phone. Still ringing.

We arrive. I've got my cab ride fix, so I stop twitching and pay.

“Thankyouverymuchhaveagreatnight,” I say.

“Okay, we gonna fight now. Bye.”

Seriously. If I’m Hannibal Lecter’s wife, I’m not calling him with Wife Rage while he’s working.

Because my sorry ass just might end up on a plate with some fava beans and a nice Chianti.
~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: Do do do di do
I am reading: A proposal for Restaurant.com
And I am: Finally feeling all writey again

I work here

2009-06-08T07:03:00.000-05:00

"Did you order the large fries?"

"No, you did."

"No I didn't. I had the regular."

That's me and Jim the IT Guy, sorting out our weekly lunch at Portillo's last Friday when an older, dark-haired man sitting at the next table stands up and interrupts:

"Excuse me, I work here, did we miss something from your order?"

"No thanks," we explain. "We're just arguing over who ordered the large."

Amazing. He works there.

Right.

Turns out, the guy who said "I work here" is Dick Portillo, the founder of Portillo's restaurants - a veritable institution here in Chicagoland.

Of course it's fast food. But it's the tastiest, freshest and FASTEST fast food on the planet.

Sure, they're known for overly verbose table signage.

But visit their drive-thru at noon on any Saturday and you'll witness a highly efficient, borderline militaristic operation designed to move move move hungry customers through as quickly as possible. It's a wonder.

It's coming up on 20 years that I've been living in Illinois.

I had my first Portillo's Chicago-style hot dog ("What the hell? I didn't order a salad, I ordered a hot dog!") about two weeks after moving here.

I've NEVER been disappointed by the food or the service. Never.

Anyhow. Now I understand why Portillo's does what they do.

It's all because of the guy who works there.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: Divine Design with Candice Olsen
I am reading: Nothing
And I am: Sorta back

Good Things Friday

2009-06-05T08:40:00.003-05:00

It’s sunny
Got up early enough this morning to water and dead-head some flowers
Jim cracking me up via text messages from Berlin
Mowed the lawn last night and somehow managed to avoid hitting any Grommie bombs even though I was lazy and didn’t pick up beforehand
House is clean
There’s lovely, fresh brown mulch everywhere and no weeds anywhere thanks to Antonio & crew
Got all the pots and planters planted last weekend
Didn’t gain any weight this week (I didn’t lose, either, but what the hell)
Wearing my favorite comfy jacket from Eddie Bauer
Scored a regular forward-facing blue seat on the 7:22 this morning (the blue ones are more comfortable than the brown ones, FYI)
Had a liver sausage sammich for dinner last night
Our creative director introduced me to Cooliris, a photo/video browsing plugin for Firefox
Business really seems to be picking up for us and our vendors/partners
An unexpected lunch with my boss on Monday
The movie Traitor – great story starring Don Cheadle
Wearing my favorite necklace today from my dear friend Judy
Went to a Pilates mat class with a co-worker on Tuesday – now we’re going every week
Having a sore ass from Pilates
Seeing my orthopedic surgeon unexpectedly on Wednesday and having him tell me the strength in my ACL is exceptionally good
The word ‘noogie’
Singing the Happy Anniversary song to my parents yesterday. Twice.
Giggling with Mom over the thought of my brother Eric getting into a bar brawl with a priest from St. Peter’s.
He didn’t, FYI. But I kinda wish he had.
Mid-week walkies with Grommie on Tuesday and Wednesday
Nelson is here one week from today
Which means I get to have a chocolate cake shake from Portillo’s (I have one once a year when Nelson is here)
Two weeks from today, Nelson AND Kyra are here for what's become a lovely tradition and one of my all-time favorite summer weekends
Susie & family visiting for one precious day - June 22 - YAY!
Another neighborhood graduation party tomorrow
Knowing that ‘DELAYED’ means ‘APPROACHING’ on the CTA bus tracker thingie
Breathing in the wonderful-smelling salt and pepper-haired gentleman in a summer suit and white Converse sitting in front of me on the bus
Getting off a stop early to walk a little in the glorious sunshine
Taking the stairs rather than the elevator to our third floor office
Singing along with Tracy Chapman and thinking of Mom
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: Sing for You – Tracy Chapman
I am reading: Nothing
And I am: Still not writing but okay

Don't try

2009-05-29T07:03:00.001-05:00

'Somebody at one of these places ... asked me: "What do you do? How do you write, create?" You don't, I told them. You don't try. That's very important: not to try, either for Cadillacs, creation or immortality. You wait, and if nothing happens, you wait some more. It's like a bug high on the wall. You wait for it to come to you. When it gets close enough you reach out, slap out and kill it. Or if you like its looks you make a pet out of it.'

- Charles Bukowski
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: Barfly
I am reading: Nothing
And I am: Still waiting

Good things Friday

2009-05-22T08:55:00.003-05:00

Last weekend in Michigan with Mom, Da, Eric & Rudy - wonderful.
We live in the best country on the planet protected by amazing men and women willing to give up their lives for our freedom.
Mowed the lawn for the first time last Sunday.
Mistyped Google this morning and found Booble.
I've worn sandals all week.
We are blessed with so many wonderful friends.
We're attending Justin's commencement ceremony on Sunday.
Made dinner for Jim last night - my specialty - Sloppy Joes.
Grommie went swimming yesterday for the first time.
Sycamore Speedway tonight with Susan, Keith, Judy & Steve - a fantastic way to kick off summer.
I'm not writing - completely uninspired right now - but am okay with it for once.
A co-worker's boyfriend accepted a job offer yesterday.
Sold the motorcycle Wednesday - Craig's List is a beautiful thing.
Looking forward to playing in the dirt with Jim all weekend.
The last bit of furniture Jim bought with his starter wife will be leaving the house tomorrow.
A fresh keg of Miller High Life arrives today and the Hula Lounge is officially open - c'mon over!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: Let's Groove - Earth, Wind & Fire
I am reading: The Well and the Mine by Gin Phillips
And I am: F.I.N.E.

The teacher dog

2009-05-20T09:02:00.003-05:00

"I'm watching TV and G is on the porch barking at me."

"He wants you out there. It's a good idea - it's a beautiful night."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
They'd do well to listen to me, She and He.

They're always off running around the house painting this and folding that when they should be kicking back and enjoying life.

I try telling them. There's a lovely spot right here in this patch of sun. A warm breeze. Sit down. Take a break.

Just be.

They don't always listen. But I will always keep trying.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: Gromit
I am reading: A dissertation on evolating
And I am: Quiet

Grommie is GREAT

2009-05-11T15:06:00.003-05:00

All the biopsies came back clear! YAYYYYYYYY!

He has inflammatory bowel disease and it will be treated with a special prescription dog food and steroids (for a while).

Thanks again for your care and concern for our guy. Love & hugs.

Marketing

2009-05-10T19:29:00.002-05:00

"What are we watching?"

"It has Nazis in it."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: The Sound of Music
I am reading: Nothing
And I am: Unconvincing

Happy Mother's Day

2009-05-10T18:13:00.002-05:00

Best wishes to all of the truly fantastic Moms I know, especially my own.

Love & hugs.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: Sing for You - Tracy Chapman
I am reading: Nothing
And I am: Grateful