Fuck You Tuesday

“The class is changing me in small ways,” I say. “Like this morning the septic alarm went off…normally I’d wake up Jim and make him go downstairs to turn it off but I got out of bed and did it myself.”

“I didn’t even hear it,” says Jim.

“You need a class to learn how to be nice?” asks Nelson.

“Kinda. I guess. Maybe. Fuck you.”

“Well I don’t like it,” says Nelson. “Where’s the bitchy Heather? Since you started taking this class you’re all sunshine and bunnies. And cut the Good Things Friday shit on the blog, would ya please? Nobody cares.”

“Fine. Fuck you.”

He’s right, though. I’ve lost a bit of that Fuck-You-I’m-Heather attitude because of charm school. Probably another reason why I haven’t been writing so much. Lost my edge.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So here goes. It’s Fuck You Tuesday.

Fuck you, Metra for cancelling the 5:49 to Aurora last night and cramming all of us on the 5:44. I stood in a fucking aisle all the way to fucking Lisle with some Asian bitch pushing into me and sweat dripping from my earlobes down to my asshole.

Fuck you, Twitter and Facebook and LinkedIn for distracting people from what’s really important.

Fuck you, charm school for forcing me to think about all of this fucking baggage from childhood. You say we create the lives we have – well looking around, mine isn’t so goddamn bad is it, ya fuckos?

Fuck you, sweater with the bleach stain on it.

Fuck you, people who talk too much.

Fuck you, thorny weeds in our backyard.

Fuck you, birds for shitting all over my deck and patio.

Fuck you, people who walk slow and block the sidewalk.

Fuck you, Rod Blagojevich and your stupid fucking wife for not having a little sense and a little more humility to go away quietly.

Fuck you idiot jealous control-freak women who give the rest of us a bad rap.

Fuck you idiot men for killing your wives rather than divorcing them.

Fuck you, people who aren’t talking to me anymore (you know who you are) – Good Riddance and pass the peanuts.

Fuck you, Apple for making it cost-prohibitive for your best, most loyal customers to get a new iPhone 3Gs. I’ll keep my sorry-ass old iPhone until it’s nothing but a brick before I give you more of my money.

Fuck you, 7 Pounds, with your seriously flawed premise and M. Night Shyamalan wanna-be ending.

Fuck you, Microsoft Update and any software update installer bullshit application.

Fuck you ingrown toenail.

Fuck you, AC/DC, your music sucks.

Fuck you, Rush Limbaugh. And fuck you, George Bush and Dick Cheney.

Fuck you, Colin Powell for not having enough sack to stay in and fight Bush&Co.

Fuck you, one-and-a-half hour commute.

Fuck you, bunnies and fuck you sunshine.

Fuck you, septic system for waking me up early on Saturday and starting this whole fucking mess.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: Fuck You by Freddie Fuckstick and the Fuckettes
I am reading: None of your goddamn business
And I am: Angry

Good things Friday

It is a BEAUTIFUL day
Jim is finally done traveling - YAY!
Nelson arrives from Bangkok this afternoon
Judy came over last Friday - a lovely surprise visit
A long, lovely e-mail from DewMama regarding yesterday's post
Laughing with Mom this morning over MyFace - her version of Facebook and MySpace
This African proverb: "Much silence makes a powerful noise"
Date night with Jim in the city yesterday - a mini pub crawl through River North
I'm finally writing again
A wonderful, thoughtful dead-on comment from Crusty on yesterday's post - Thank you!
Learned tons of new stuff this week
An always hilarious visit with Mr. & Mrs. You Know Who Wednesday night
Pilates two weeks in a row - Woo HOOO!
Planning birthday parties for people we love
The French bulldog puppy in the neighborhood by my office
Hi my name is Heather and I'm a cabaholic; it's been four days since my last cab ride
Taking the #66 bus from Ohio to Orleans yesterday
A small possibility of going to Rome with Jim in October
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: I'm Yours - Jason Mraz
I am reading: Neil at the Sun-Times
And I am: Smiley

Stranded in the land of average

I’ve always marveled at these rare people who know early on exactly what they want to do with their lives. I know maybe three of them.

One is a teacher. One is a firefighter. And right now I can’t think of the third.

At some point, the rest of us realize that we need to pay the bills so we fall into careers that sorta kinda feel comfortable then we proceed to mill about our lives vaguely dissatisfied – numbing that feeling with things like alcohol or food or TV or whathaveyou.

There are millions of people just like me – stranded in the land of average – waiting to find out what we’ll be when finally we grow up.

Don’t get me wrong, I like my job. But I don’t believe Cuddly Wuddly Christ tapped my little fresh-from-the-womb forehead and said “Hedy, You Will Be A Tech Marketer.”

Does that make sense?

Whoa, Hedy, wait a minute. It sounds to me like you’ve got a pretty fucking awesome life. You’ve got a husband who loves you in spite of your hormonally induced nut-jobbery. You live with the World’s Greatest Dog. You are blessed with family, friends, health, and more than your share of laughter. You want for nothing. It sounds to me like you need to be a little more grateful, Miss Pissy Pants.

Yep. Right.

I’ve got everything except that higher purpose and meaning driving what I do. I could be satisfied but I’m being honest here, admitting I’m not.

So here are the next questions:

1) Is it the job? Or is it that I’m simply not injecting more of myself into it?
2) Is it that I need a new career?
3) What would that look like?
4) Where do I start?
5) What do I LOVE to do?

I’m going to start with that last question because it’s the easiest one to answer. I am a writer. I love telling stories. They don’t have to be my stories – I’m happy to write stories about other people doing great things. I’m pretty goddamn good at it, too.

I also like giving massages. And I’m goddamn good at that, too. Ask Jim and Gromit.

I like traveling and learning about different people and places.

I’m passionate about the news and politics.

And I like helping people. But not in the wipe-yer-ass way. Those folks, bless their twisted little hearts, get a Do Not Pass Go Do Not Collect $100 ticket straight to Heaven.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Here’s where I’m at right now: The mature thing to do is inject every part of myself more fully into my current work with the belief that my Higher Purpose (whatever the hell that is) will come.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Here’s my favorite example of what it means to really put yourself into your job – and if you’re tired of hearing about Portillo’s, I’m sorry, but a lot of profoundly Good and Right things are happening there.

There’s a rather large smiley African American woman working the pick-up counter at Portillo’s at Clark and Ontario in Chicago. When your order is ready, she lets you know by shouting:

“NUMBER 1 YOUR ORDER IS DONE!”

or

“NUMBER 5 YOUR FOOD HAS ARRIVED!”

or

“NUMBER 3 YOU BETTER COME AND SEE ME!”

You get the idea. She makes it fun. You never know what she’s gonna say but it always makes people smile.

And if you need an extra fork or some mayonnaise or something, she’s all about “What can I get for you, baby?” and “You’re welcome, honey.”

Think about it. She’s handing out fast food to people. It could be categorized as one of the more mundane jobs on the planet. She doesn’t have to make it special or interesting.

But she loves it. She obviously loves people. And because of who she is and her infectious attitude, she makes the whole experience special for everyone.

That’s how I want to be with my job.

It’s powerful. Recognizing that I can make this difference. It's not that my job is changing - but my perception of it is changing.

So even if you're doing a job that you don't really love, you can do it in a way that makes a difference to other people.

Because ultimately it’s not about finding the perfect job or the perfect husband or the perfect anything, it’s about what you put into it that makes it perfect for you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: Breathe Me – Sia
I am reading: Doctoral papers from my coach
I am: It’s 8:09 AND I AM JUST FINE

All writey then

So part of the reason I haven’t been writing much is that I’m learning a lot.

This class – Jim calls it charm school – is consuming me. It is forcing me to look at what I do, why I do it, and how I feel.

That last one is tough for me. How I feel.

Remember that one bathtub scene in Pretty Woman? Not where Julia Roberts does a naked soapy impression of Prince. The other one – when Richard Gere explains how he was “very ANGRY” with his father and that years of therapy helped him say that without freaking himself right out the door.

Well I’m not angry with my father. But I am learning tons of really cool stuff about why I am the way I am and why I do some of the bat-shit crazy stuff I do.

Example, Hedy?

Here’s a big one. Get ready.

For most of my adult life I’ve been utterly convinced that something really horrible will happen and my life will come crashing down around me, and that it will be ALL MY FAULT.

It’s called catastrophic thinking.

It’s the idea that if things are going particularly well then I’m over due for something truly awful to happen.

The reality is, bad shit happens all the time.

But fantasizing about it – and no, I’m sorry to report that all my fantasies don’t involve a big fat Russell Crowe-Craig Ferguson sandwich – is NOT healthy. Some of us have negative fantasies all the time. Some people even act on them.

Anyhow. I’m learning that catastrophic thinking is not healthy; that living in fear that your life could come crashing down around you at any moment is not good.

Can you see how thinking that way all or even part of the time would have an impact on how I view the world and my role in it? It has given a decidedly temporary and unsettled feeling to any major endeavor of mine. Which might explain all of that career related turmoil from before.

So I’m learning how to change my patterns of thinking. Here's the really cool thing: changing the way I think is also changing the way I behave.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Remember the phrase ‘not so much’? It was the trendy thing to say about a year ago.

Here’s the most recent language trend I’m noticing: Beginning sentences with ‘So’.

Here’s how it goes. Ask someone a question like “How will you prepare dinner tonight?”

The trendy word hipster will say “So I want to make a salad, right? So I plan on cutting up the lettuce, tomatoes, cucumbers, and olives first.”

See?

So let me know if you’re noticing it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
You want another big learn from my class?

Shit I don’t even know where to start on this one.

How we perceive God (especially from childhood) has an impact on how we perceive the world.

If you grew up with a punishing, vengeful God who gets off on getting all smotey on sinful six-year-olds, you’re probably going to have a different perspective on society than if you grew up with a benevolent, forgiving God who loves you know matter what you do.

It’s Old Testament vs. New Testament for you Bible freaks.

The concepts are abundance versus scarcity. Faith versus fear. Love and acceptance versus hatred and punishment.

How do you view the world?

Is it an abundant, loving place? Or is life scary and scarce?

Here’s where I’m at:

I grew up in a house where love was abundant. Hopefully you know by now that my Mom and Dad rocked the whole parenting thing and that my childhood was filled with lots of love and play. My brother Eric and I knew pretty much every day of our lives that we were loved and that we mattered.

However, I grew up with a God who was scary and vengeful. He did not love me no matter what. He loved me ONLY if I followed his impossible rules ALL THE TIME.

Here’s little 6-year-old Hedy: “Don’t lie? What the fuck? Are you kidding me?”

Kids lie. It’s part of growing up. It’s part of how we assert ourselves into adulthood.

Christ got that. He knew that people make mistakes. Sometimes really big ones.

But we’re all worthy of love and forgiveness. ALL THE TIME.

From this class, I'm realizing that what I learned about God and religion as a child contradicted the loving way my parents lived with us kids every day.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Here's an example of how I might apply what I'm learning to the Wife Rage situation from yesterday:

Me: So why do you get so angry when you can't reach your husband on the phone?
Mrs. Lecter: Because I'm afraid he's cheating on me.
Me: Why?
Mrs. Lecter: Because I'm afraid he will leave me for someone else.
Me: Why?
Mrs. Lecter: Because I don't feel good about myself and he might find someone he likes better.
Me: Why don't you feel good about yourself?
Mrs. Lecter: Because I'm not as young-thin-fun-sexy-whatever as I used to be.
Me: So the problem isn't so much with your husband as with you, right?
Mrs. Lecter: Fuck you.
Me: No, really. You're angry with your husband because he doesn't answer the phone but you're really angry and afraid because of how you feel about yourself. It really has nothing to do with his behavior, and everything to do with yours. Right?
Mrs. Lecter: Maybe. But fuck you anyway.

It's a process. See? The light bulbs don't always spark immediately but it's the talking/thinking part that matters.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Anyhow. Sorry to get all preachy.

Some of you probably don’t want to think about this stuff. Hell, half the time I don’t want to think about it. It’s exhausting. But it’s worth it.

I’m changing in small ways. People I love are noticing it. And that’s pretty cool.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: Quiet office sounds
I am reading: Neil Steinberg at the Sun-Times
And I am: Working on it

Taxicab confession

I have a problem.

No shit, Hedy.

Right. Fine. I have many problems.

But to be a little more specific, my current Major Problem involves cabs. Yes, cabs.

I am addicted to taxicabs.

It’s coming up on a year that I’ve been at the Wondrous Melty Chocolate Chip Job in the Egregiously Far and Inconvenient River North neighborhood of Chicago. And while I'm still rockin' the aforementioned cookie sheet, anything I found remotely interesting or convenient about public transportation is gone-daddy-gone.

So I’ve been sneaking cab rides. Lots of cab rides.

It goes something like this:

“I really need to get to the office-home-doctor-lunch-seminar-dinner-store-dry cleaner so I’ll just grab a cab. It’s faster.”
~~~~~~~~~~~
“You’re taking cabs?” asks Jim. “That’s where all your money is going? I thought you had a crack habit.”

“Crack is probably cheaper. And think of how much fun I’d be if I lost all my teeth.”
~~~~~~~~~~~
Here’s the upside to this unsavory addiction: I have tons of cab driver stories. I meet guys – they’re all guys – from all over. Mostly from Pakistan for some reason. But also Nigeria. Afghanistan. Turkey. Syria. And one remarkably bad driver from China.

Anyhow.

Last night I got a dead ringer for Hannibal Lecter. I never caught his country of origin and here’s why:

Do do do di do
Do do do da do

Do do do di do
Do do do da do

Shortly after climbing in and saying my standard “HihowareyouUnionStationplease” his phone starts ringing.

Do do do di do
Do do do da do

Do do do di do
Do do do da do

And ringing.

Do do do di do
Do do do da do

Do do do di do
Do do do da do

And ringing.

Not irritating. Just a sing-songy sort of soft ring floating back from the depths of the front seat.

After about the fourth call, I say “Somebody really needs you.”

“This is Secretary of Interior,” says Hannibal, glancing back in the mirror. “You know who this is?”

“Your wife?”

“Yes, she thinks I am with someone else when I don’t answer,” he explained. “She doesn’t like it.”

Call me twisted but I look straight into his bright blue Hannibal-esque eyes and say: “Well, you are with someone else right now, aren’t you?”

Which earns me a great big belly laugh and this: “Next time she call, how about you pick up? Okay? We see what happens.”

Then we both giggle maniacally like serial killers on crack.

This poor guy gets at least 20 calls in between my office and the train station. The phone rings the entire trip. We feel what could only be described as Wife Rage oozing from his phone.

“Why don’t you just pick it up?” I ask. “It’s okay.”

“No, it is my policy,” he explains. “I do not talk on my phone when I am working. When I am driving. My wife, she knows this.”
~~~~~~~~~~~
But Hedy, what if it was a wife-related emergency?

Right.

What if?

I'd believe that IF he hadn't said the thing about how “She thinks I am with someone else when I don’t answer” and “She doesn’t like it.”

If by some dark miracle it actually was an emergency, this bitch has been calling wolf for so long the poor guy wouldn't believe it anyhow.
~~~~~~~~~~~
By the end of the ride, I really really really want to pick up that phone.

Here’s what I want to say:

“Honey, I’ve been there. I’ve been you. Desperately dialing my guy and getting No Answer until poor little Hedy is ready to go kersplody all over the phone. It’s time. Time to let it go. He’s cute. But he’s not cheating on you. He loves you. You’re the one he comes home to every night. You are the best thing that ever happened to him. Start acting like it. You may not be the one he thinks about every time he jacks off in the shower, but if you’re keeping him happy in the sack he won’t be doing that so much. Sure, he had some fun before he met you. That's a good thing. All that fun helped him figure out what he likes and he likes YOU. If you don’t trust him by now you really need to look at yourself for the reason why because he’s never given you a really good reason to doubt him. Fine, you may not trust other women, but you can definitely trust him. TRUST HIM. He’s working. He’s fixing a furnace. He’s in a meeting with a client. Or he’s driving some cab-addicted chubby chick to the train station. But he’s thinking about you the whole time and wishing you’d just chill the fuck out and let him do his job. His job is important. Not as important as you and the kids, but it’s important. So take a deep breath, put the phone down and let him do it. Thank you.

By the way your husband is really hot. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

Okay maybe not that last part. But you get it.

Meanwhile, back at Hannibal’s phone. Still ringing.

We arrive. I've got my cab ride fix, so I stop twitching and pay.

“Thankyouverymuchhaveagreatnight,” I say.

“Okay, we gonna fight now. Bye.”

Seriously. If I’m Hannibal Lecter’s wife, I’m not calling him with Wife Rage while he’s working.

Because my sorry ass just might end up on a plate with some fava beans and a nice Chianti.
~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: Do do do di do
I am reading: A proposal for Restaurant.com
And I am: Finally feeling all writey again

I work here

"Did you order the large fries?"

"No, you did."

"No I didn't. I had the regular."

That's me and Jim the IT Guy, sorting out our weekly lunch at Portillo's last Friday when an older, dark-haired man sitting at the next table stands up and interrupts:

"Excuse me, I work here, did we miss something from your order?"

"No thanks," we explain. "We're just arguing over who ordered the large."

Amazing. He works there.

Right.

Turns out, the guy who said "I work here" is Dick Portillo, the founder of Portillo's restaurants - a veritable institution here in Chicagoland.

Of course it's fast food. But it's the tastiest, freshest and FASTEST fast food on the planet.

Sure, they're known for overly verbose table signage.

But visit their drive-thru at noon on any Saturday and you'll witness a highly efficient, borderline militaristic operation designed to move move move hungry customers through as quickly as possible. It's a wonder.

It's coming up on 20 years that I've been living in Illinois.

I had my first Portillo's Chicago-style hot dog ("What the hell? I didn't order a salad, I ordered a hot dog!") about two weeks after moving here.

I've NEVER been disappointed by the food or the service. Never.

Anyhow. Now I understand why Portillo's does what they do.

It's all because of the guy who works there.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: Divine Design with Candice Olsen
I am reading: Nothing
And I am: Sorta back

Good Things Friday

It’s sunny
Got up early enough this morning to water and dead-head some flowers
Jim cracking me up via text messages from Berlin
Mowed the lawn last night and somehow managed to avoid hitting any Grommie bombs even though I was lazy and didn’t pick up beforehand
House is clean
There’s lovely, fresh brown mulch everywhere and no weeds anywhere thanks to Antonio & crew
Got all the pots and planters planted last weekend
Didn’t gain any weight this week (I didn’t lose, either, but what the hell)
Wearing my favorite comfy jacket from Eddie Bauer
Scored a regular forward-facing blue seat on the 7:22 this morning (the blue ones are more comfortable than the brown ones, FYI)
Had a liver sausage sammich for dinner last night
Our creative director introduced me to Cooliris, a photo/video browsing plugin for Firefox
Business really seems to be picking up for us and our vendors/partners
An unexpected lunch with my boss on Monday
The movie Traitor – great story starring Don Cheadle
Wearing my favorite necklace today from my dear friend Judy
Went to a Pilates mat class with a co-worker on Tuesday – now we’re going every week
Having a sore ass from Pilates
Seeing my orthopedic surgeon unexpectedly on Wednesday and having him tell me the strength in my ACL is exceptionally good
The word ‘noogie’
Singing the Happy Anniversary song to my parents yesterday. Twice.
Giggling with Mom over the thought of my brother Eric getting into a bar brawl with a priest from St. Peter’s.
He didn’t, FYI. But I kinda wish he had.
Mid-week walkies with Grommie on Tuesday and Wednesday
Nelson is here one week from today
Which means I get to have a chocolate cake shake from Portillo’s (I have one once a year when Nelson is here)
Two weeks from today, Nelson AND Kyra are here for what's become a lovely tradition and one of my all-time favorite summer weekends
Susie & family visiting for one precious day - June 22 - YAY!
Another neighborhood graduation party tomorrow
Knowing that ‘DELAYED’ means ‘APPROACHING’ on the CTA bus tracker thingie
Breathing in the wonderful-smelling salt and pepper-haired gentleman in a summer suit and white Converse sitting in front of me on the bus
Getting off a stop early to walk a little in the glorious sunshine
Taking the stairs rather than the elevator to our third floor office
Singing along with Tracy Chapman and thinking of Mom
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: Sing for You – Tracy Chapman
I am reading: Nothing
And I am: Still not writing but okay

Don't try

'Somebody at one of these places ... asked me: "What do you do? How do you write, create?" You don't, I told them. You don't try. That's very important: not to try, either for Cadillacs, creation or immortality. You wait, and if nothing happens, you wait some more. It's like a bug high on the wall. You wait for it to come to you. When it gets close enough you reach out, slap out and kill it. Or if you like its looks you make a pet out of it.'

- Charles Bukowski
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: Barfly
I am reading: Nothing
And I am: Still waiting

Good things Friday

Last weekend in Michigan with Mom, Da, Eric & Rudy - wonderful.
We live in the best country on the planet protected by amazing men and women willing to give up their lives for our freedom.
Mowed the lawn for the first time last Sunday.
Mistyped Google this morning and found Booble.
I've worn sandals all week.
We are blessed with so many wonderful friends.
We're attending Justin's commencement ceremony on Sunday.
Made dinner for Jim last night - my specialty - Sloppy Joes.
Grommie went swimming yesterday for the first time.
Sycamore Speedway tonight with Susan, Keith, Judy & Steve - a fantastic way to kick off summer.
I'm not writing - completely uninspired right now - but am okay with it for once.
A co-worker's boyfriend accepted a job offer yesterday.
Sold the motorcycle Wednesday - Craig's List is a beautiful thing.
Looking forward to playing in the dirt with Jim all weekend.
The last bit of furniture Jim bought with his starter wife will be leaving the house tomorrow.
A fresh keg of Miller High Life arrives today and the Hula Lounge is officially open - c'mon over!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: Let's Groove - Earth, Wind & Fire
I am reading: The Well and the Mine by Gin Phillips
And I am: F.I.N.E.

The teacher dog

"I'm watching TV and G is on the porch barking at me."

"He wants you out there. It's a good idea - it's a beautiful night."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
They'd do well to listen to me, She and He.

They're always off running around the house painting this and folding that when they should be kicking back and enjoying life.

I try telling them. There's a lovely spot right here in this patch of sun. A warm breeze. Sit down. Take a break.

Just be.

They don't always listen. But I will always keep trying.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: Gromit
I am reading: A dissertation on evolating
And I am: Quiet

Grommie is GREAT

All the biopsies came back clear! YAYYYYYYYY!

He has inflammatory bowel disease and it will be treated with a special prescription dog food and steroids (for a while).

Thanks again for your care and concern for our guy. Love & hugs.

Marketing

"What are we watching?"

"It has Nazis in it."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: The Sound of Music
I am reading: Nothing
And I am: Unconvincing

Happy Mother's Day

Best wishes to all of the truly fantastic Moms I know, especially my own.

Love & hugs.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: Sing for You - Tracy Chapman
I am reading: Nothing
And I am: Grateful

Good things Friday

Confession: It doesn’t feel like Good Things Friday.

It feels like We Still Don’t Know What the Fuck is Going on With Our Puppy Friday.

HOWEVER.

The best time to count our blessings is when we’re filled with fear, uncertainty, and doubt. Right?

So let’s forge ahead as if all is right with the world.

My good friend Judy, who listened to me blubber and let me blow snot on her shoulder after hearing all the (potentially) awful news about Grom
ALL of our good friends who expressed care and concern here and in the ‘real’ world
A veterinarian who takes 20 minutes with you on the phone explaining what happened during the scope/biopsy procedure
Grommie is a smiley dog once again but we don’t know if it’s because of the prednisone shot or because he’s actually feeling better…we’ll know the prognosis today hopefully
A very good date night with Jim at El Taco Grande
Still looking forward to – and loving – dinner conversation with your spouse
Dinner with Mr. & Mrs. You Know Who Last Night
Laughing again about my impromptu and inexplicable imitation of Gilbert Godfrey the last time we were up at the lake
Planning our next trip to the lake
Being more present – even while doing mundane things
A very productive week
Dancing every Tuesday night
Not stressing about what to wear anymore
Being blessed with the ability to recognize the truth in both people and situations
Finally wearing the sandals I bought back in March
Jim is not losing his job (as we momentarily feared due to a poorly-worded e-mail from his boss)
In fact, they’re un-shelving a product once deemed too expensive to support – a product that no one else offers in his market – and this means nothing but good things for him and his division
Resisting the profound urge to punch the woman next to me on the train who has been babbling non-stop into her phone for nearly an hour – way to go, me!
Watching Twister with Jim – a Springtime tradition
Inspiring someone to dance on the El platform earlier in the week
Downloading the song in my head from iTunes to my phone
Dancing on the Quincy El platform to the song that was in my head
Losing 5 lbs. this week
Neil Steinberg commented on my Facebook status so I know he’s listening
The trees and the flowers are bursting
Being able to tell your boss you're 15 minutes late because you danced on the El train platform
My all-time favorite view: Looking out to the backyard and seeing Jim and Grommie together on the lounge chair
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: Let's Groove - Earth, Wind & Fire
I am reading: Nothing
And I am: Sweaty

He's listening

Hedy 9:01: okay I have chills

Hedy 9:01: neil steinberg COMMENTED ON MY STATUS ON FACEBOOK

Hedy 9:01: HE'S LISTENING

Jeff 9:01: chills or arousal?

Hedy 9:01: BOTH
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: Piece of My Heart - Big Brother & The Holding Company
I am reading: Today's Neil
And I am: Chillingly aroused

Gromit, sweetheart dog

"What's his name?" asks a large gray-haired man unsuccessfully reigning in an exuberant black lab/boxer mix named Scout in the lobby of the vet clinic.

"Gromit," I say, ready to explain his rather unusual moniker.

"Gromit?" he asks, smiling. "Is Wallace at home?"

He bends over, gives Grom a quick scratch and says "Gromit, you are a real sweetheart."

Yep. A sweetheart dog. That's the word most people use for Gromit. It's what we've called him since he was a puppy. And while many of you have never met Gromit, if you did, you'd say the same thing within minutes of meeting him.

He's just that kind of guy.

So when doctors (who have to give you the worst case scenario) say things like "this kind of abnormality in the stomach, I just can't think of a good scenario for that" and "two hard swollen lymph nodes" you can probably understand why I sobbed on the couch all morning.

He's eaten next to nothing for more than a week. In that time he's transformed from Gromit, smiley sweetheart dog, to a forlorn little guy who looks incredibly uncomfortable both day and night.

Around 3 p.m. today, the doctor called to say they'd found no masses, tumors, or obstructions in his stomach or small intestine. However, his small intestine is extremely red and irritated and, while they haven't ruled out some sort of lymphoma, the preliminary diagnosis is Inflammatory Bowel Syndrome (which I swear is what Jim gets after El Taco Grande).

We still don't know the scoop on the lymph nodes -- but the chest x-rays looked normal and all of the biopsies will come back in a few days. The doctor was very positive.

It's hard to explain what this fuzzy little mutt means to me and Jim, but if you knew him, you'd understand that life is significantly sweeter with Gromit in it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: The birds outside
I am reading: Nothing
And I am: Sort of relieved but not quite

A small favor

Grommie Dog is in for a stomach scope and biopsy at noon. Please send warm healing thoughts and prayers for our guy today.

Good things Friday

Bulls win in double triple OT
A pre-haircut scalp massage
Talking about The Shack with Mom & Da
I'm no longer drinking Diet Pepsi - just water
Washed down all the cupboards in the kitchen last Saturday morning
Being blessed with too much work
Re-connecting with Mary, Alison, and Dennis and helping out with web 2.0 stuff
Down 4 lbs. since Monday
Wearing the peace necklace I got with Susie in Long Boat Key
Nelson & Kyra are visiting for a weekend in June
The commute was a breeze for some reason this morning
Dinner at The Bristol Tap with Steve & Judy - sure love you guys
Jessica the Vet Tech, caring for our sad, sick Grommie Dog
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: Keep Me in Your Heart - Jorge Calderon
I am reading: Neil Steinberg in Sun-Times
And I am: Wishing for just one good thing today - a healthy dog

Honesty

Subject: CareerBuilder Job Application : Business Development Manager

You have received an application to your job posted on CareerBuilder. You can respond to this candidate by replying to this email. Your Reference ID for this job is xxxxx.

Job Information
---------------
Job Title: Business Development Manager
Location: US-IL-Chicago
Job Details: http://www.CareerBuilder.com/blahblahblah

Contact Information
-------------------
Name: M_____ A_____
Phone:
Email:

Cover Letter
------------
No cover letter submitted.

Resume
------
RESUME OF M_____ A_____

Education 1996-1997 HARVARD LAW SCHOOL


1996-1996 UNIVERSITY OF CONNECTICUT


1978-1984 CHUO UNIVERSITY,TOKYO


Business Experience
Almost nothing because economic support has been sufficient from our family.


Language Ability
Fluent in English and Japanese
Basic level in French and German


References
Personal references available upon request.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: Erasure - Chains of Love
I am reading: The Shack
And I am: Kinda tired

100 days

It’s three months and then some since Obama took office.

I haven’t read any of the myriad ‘How’s He Doing at 100 Days’ stories. Yet.

Because I’m trying to capture how it has felt having him in charge rather than reading about how I’m supposed to feel or think about it. And I wanted to see how much I could remember of what this new administration has done, rather than cheating and researching and regurgitating what everyone else is saying today.

So here goes.

Well, the flubs come to mind first thing. Isn’t that odd? I guess it’s just easier.

And there’ve been some Big Ass Flubs for sure: Not demanding more accountability earlier from the banks that received TARP funds. Cabinet appointees with tax issues. Appointees with ties to lobbyists.

Then there are the Small Ass Flubs like the Special Olympics comment on late night with Leno, the kingly bows and queenly hugs, and the terrorist photo op flyby over New York more recently.

As for the good things, tax cuts for 95% of Americans tops the list. The reversal on stem cell research funding. Preparing to shut down Gitmo. Eliminating the use of torture. Pushing through a stimulus package that, while deeply flawed, was entirely necessary. Allowing photos of the caskets of dead soldiers as they return home – a much-needed reminder that the ultimate price of war is not in dollars, but in the loss of brave loved ones. Allowing Cuban Americans to travel and send money back home more easily.

If the word ‘strategery’ captured the essence of the Bush administration, I’d have to say ‘transparency’ is the word for Obama and his crew.

They seem to be doing a lot and they’re telling people about it. Better still, they don't hide it or lie about it when they screw up. There appears to be a new measure of accountability and openness in Washington and it feels good.

Now I'm off to read what I should've said had I done my homework. We'll see how it measures up.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: Office sounds
I am reading: The Shack (again)
And I am: Emotional but I don’t know why