"Your clitoris is really blooming nicely," says Judy yesterday."You mean the chlamydia? Yeah, it's gorgeous, isn't it?" says me.
Explanation: Jim can't remember the name of the purple clematis out back, so he's been calling it 'chlamydia' for years.
Now all our friends and neighbors do it, too.
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I am listening to: Meet the Press without Tim Russert (sad)
I am reading: Sin in the Second City by Karen Abbott
And I am: Looking forward to another great day
A purple clematis?????? Jeeez Jim....take it easy on that thing!
ReplyDeleteActually, I think I got Clematis in college once (or twice). Thank God for "Rid." Total Lifesaver!
ReplyDeleteDuring my fabulous marriage - he bought me a rosebush for a mother's day gift from the children - the name of the rose - "Golden Showers"....I told him only in his dreams.
ReplyDeletethere would have been screams
Some other plants Jim has trouble remembering…
ReplyDeleteReal Name - Tithonia
Jim’s Name – Nice Tits On Ya Flower
Real Name - Fockea
Jim’s Name – The Fuck Ya Tree
Real Name - Backhousia
Jim’s Name - I’d Back Hose Ya
Real Name - Azolla
Jim’s Name – The Ass Hole Fern
Real Name - Pinus
Jim’s Name – The Penis Tree
Real Name - Virgilia
Jim’s Name - The Puss Bush
Real Name - Bloomeria
Jim’s Name - The Blow Me Till I Shit Plant
I love our yard...
Gromit
Perhaps the whole Garden should get a cool, groovy, hip name -- something like the G-Spot!
ReplyDeleteMakes me want to dance.