Confession: I will be getting a divorce. Soon.
As soon as
Craig Ferguson arrives to take me to L.A. so we can live happily ever after.
He will wear nothing but a kilt and speak to me with his lovely Scottish accent.
And I will wear nothing at all and do WHATEVER THE HELL HE WANTS.
I'm not kidding.
Craig Ferguson could say: "Heatherrrr! I'm goin' t' crlap in yer shoooz!"
And I'd hear: "Heather! I'm going to rub your boobs!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
But Hedy, I thought
Neil Steinberg was your guy.
Nope. Not anymore.
Sorry, Neil.
Ya got no accent. Well, maybe you do. But it's a nasally Midwestern thing that's fairly common in these parts and doesn't exactly butter the muffin, ya know?
Plus, as far as I can tell, you're short and bald-ish. Craig is tall. Messy dark hair. Devilish blue eyes. And did I mention the accent?
Of course you
are one damn fine writer, Neil. But it's time for me to be moving on.
And call me shallow, but the Scottish funnyman always trumps the Jewish brainiac. Always.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What does Jim say about all this, Hedy? Is he concerned?
"If it means Jessica Alba and I can finally be together, I'm all for it."
See, Craig? It's meant to be. Call me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: Craig on the Late Late Show
I am reading: Nothing
And I am: Leaving soon
