That’s great, but

“He gave a great speech last night, Hedy,” says Da this morning.

“Now do you understand why I like him?“

“He said everything we wanted to hear and more. If he can do half of what he says he can do, he’s a miracle worker. I’ll pray for him.”

“That’s great, but will you vote for him?”

“Ah. I don’t know about that.”
~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: Like a Prayer - Madonna
I am reading: Neil at the Sun-Times
And I am: Happy

Great day

"It's a great day," said the cab driver, winding his way through Chicago, helping me get to Union Station. Helping me get a little closer to home.

"It sure is," I say.

"Obama is our candidate for president," he said.

"He sure is."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Listen.

I realize I can't convince any of you to vote for Obama. And that's okay.

Even if he doesn't win, tonight changed everything.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: Obama in Denver
I am reading: Henry VIII by Margaret George
And I am: Elated

Getting it straight

Thanks for all the great comments yesterday.

My favorite was submitted by brave little Anonymous. I was really hoping someone would pick up on my disingenuous jab at McCain. Thank you. Whoever you are.

"Let me get this straight. You're not contesting that the man spent extra time in a POW camp because he refused to leap-frog other POWs and accept an out-of-sequence repatriation offer...But you are questioning his motivation for doing so? That truly saddens me."

Confession time.

I don’t actually believe that McCain passed up a Get Out of Hell Free card for political gain.

I can believe a lot of bad things about politicians – hell, John Edwards and his wife were willing to jeopardize the entire democratic process earlier this year – but I don’t believe McCain was focused on anything beyond surviving his time in Hanoi.

Really.

Here’s my point: How is what I said any different from the right-wing whack-jobs claiming Obama is a Muslim terrorist?

The fact is, both are extreme, ridiculous claims with no basis in reality or fact.

But if my pseudo-cynicism about McCain saddens you, then good. As that brainiac Bush would say, Mission Accomplished.

Because what saddens me more than anything is when people don’t bother to investigate the facts before spewing garbage about political candidates.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: Songbird - Fleetwood Mac
I am reading: The Autobiography of Henry VIII by Margaret George
And I am: Sad, too.

Two choices

The way I see it, you have two choices: You can vote for McCain – a tired, angry old man who represents the party that plunged us into the worst economic crisis of our time, not to mention a war based on nothing but lies and greed that has killed thousands of American soldiers.

Or you can vote for Obama – an intelligent, patriotic young man who represents a break from politics as usual, a break from our disgracefully racist history, and a break from an economic policy that has helped the rich get richer over the past eight years.

But Hedy! Obama will tax the crap out of our businesses. If we don’t elect McCain, companies like mine will simply shut down.

Bullshit.

All of the brilliant Bush/Cheney tax cuts for the wealthy and tax breaks for big business have done what for us? C’mon. They’re economic morons. Admit it.

The Republicans – who claim to really understand finances, ironically enough – have done nothing but increase our debt and lower our standard of living since they’ve been in office.

But go ahead, vote for McCain if you want more of the same.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hedy! You call Obama patriotic when McCain is the veteran and former POW? Shameful! Show some respect!

Yes, being a veteran is the ultimate patriotic trump card, isn’t it? McCain deserves respect for the sacrifices he made for our country. No question on that.

However. Being a veteran is not the only way to define what it means to believe in your country.

Because of Obama’s history – because of his heritage – and because of his accomplishments, I believe that he understands more about what this country means to regular folks like you and me, than McCain ever could.

McCain is just like Bush. He got where he is because of his family, because of the privileged life he lead, and ultimately because of his connections (and don’t get me started on what uber-wealthy wife #2 has done for him.)

I know, I know.

As a POW, McCain could’ve used his connections to get out earlier than the rest of his men – he chose not to. Maybe because it was the right thing to do. Or maybe because he didn’t want it coming back to haunt him in his political career. We’ll never know, will we?

Obama got where he is through good old-fashioned hard work. And intelligence. And a willingness to make sacrifices to make a difference in the lives of others. He believes in everything this country stands for because he’s lived it and benefited from it and ultimately, his children will benefit from it.

Being a patriot isn’t something you can inherit. It’s not something you can assimilate by simply knowing the right people.

It’s an effort.

And as far as patriotic efforts go, McCain and Obama are more than equals.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hey.

Vote for McCain if you want more of the same.

It almost has the same ring as 'Be a Moe Ho'. I like it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
But I’m a one-issue voter, Hedy. I’m pro-life. And McCain is my man.

Okay. What has the Republican Party done for you on that issue, really?

They’ve held more sway over the Supreme Court than the Democrats, by far.

And yet Roe v. Wade still stands.

Here’s my theory: Republicans love, love, LOVE you pro-lifers because you’ll give and give and give ‘til it hurts in hopes that abortion someday will be illegal again.

It ain’t happening. As long as abortion is legal, people like you will support Republicans, who care more about being re-elected than about the Right to Life. But go ahead, continue to support these folks. Sure.

To summarize: The Republicans take your money and do nothing.

Don’t you want to at least give the Democrats a shot at taking your money for a change? Who knows what could happen? And you’d be no worse off, that’s for sure.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“I stopped forwarding you stuff about Obama so we won’t argue,” says Mom this morning.

“Like what?” I say, knowing what’s in store.

“Well, that he’s a Muslim.”

Sigh.

Like I asked Mom, I’ll ask all of you: Please, please focus on what the candidates say and not what others say about them.

And please, rather than relying on the endless stream of crap forwarded from people too lazy and too shortsighted to care about the truth, do your homework.

Care more about your country and your way of life than to trust it to anonymous, fear-mongering assholes who have a vested interest in keeping things just the way they are by keeping you desperate and afraid.

I would also ask that you focus on what’s really important. Things that will have a direct impact on your family, your work, your lifestyle, and ultimately your freedom.

Things like our piss-poor economy. The deficit. Our antiquated energy policy. The war in Iraq. Healthcare. The environment.

I don’t give a fig if Obama worships the God of Bacon Bits and Oreos.

Is he more capable and more committed than McCain when it comes to making a difference for you and me? Yes.

Two choices. Care enough to make the right one. Please.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: Walk This World - Heather Nova
I am reading: Neil Steinberg
And I am: Worshiping the God of Bacon Bits and Oreos

Hillary

She always sounds like she's reminding us to clean our room.

Whether you like Obama or you're a total Moe, you have to admit Barack's way better than Hillary.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: "CLEAN YOUR ROOM!" Clinton
I am reading: Nothing
And I am: Grateful

God bless California

They finally did it - they legalized gay marriage in California.

Clapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclap.

I'm sure a certain percentage of homosexuals in that state are positively thrilled to finally have the same rights as those of us who happened to be born heterosexual.

Although I'm guessing this was not particularly welcome news for a good number of gays.

Think about it.

Thursday: "I'm SORRY, honey, you know I'd LOVE to MARRY you, but it's ILLEGAL."

Friday: "Damn, baby, what's the rush?"

I know plenty of long-suffering heteros who would've loved that excuse.

So let me just take this opportunity to welcome the gays of California to the lovely, hellish, wonderful and maddening world of marriage. Be careful what you ask for, ladies and gentlemen, because you just got it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: Let's Get It On - Marvin Gaye
I am reading: Step by Step by Bertie Bowman (thank you, Nelson!)
And I am: Pretty goddamn good

Gas tax holiday schmoliday

If you're not visiting The Washington Post's Fact Checker blog every now and then, you really should.

Michael Dobbs provides a refreshing take on the hot air around Major Issues in the presidential race and doles out "Pinocchios" for the candidates who get it wrong (on purpose or otherwise).

Dobbs' current assessment of the summer gas tax break touted by both McCain and Clinton is near perfect.

Thomas Friedman from the New York Times also provides a good perspective on this misguided idea here.

Whether you like Obama or not, at least he got this one right.

And not because of politics. Because of - of all things - actual experience right here in Illinois.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: How Far We've Come - Matchbox Twenty
I am reading: Nothing
And I am: Busy

Calling Pennsylvania

Say what you will about Obama.

But when it comes to the whole campaign fund raising + volunteer thing, he's just slick. Slick in a good way, not the Willy way.

His wife Michelle sent out an e-mail Saturday morning asking volunteers to help make calls into Pennsylvania in advance of the primary.

No, I don't believe it was actually his wife who sent out the e-mail, but it worked and that's the only thing that matters.

Within five minutes of receiving her message, voila, I was actually making calls. Once you're registered (I already was), Obama's web site provides you with a list of names/numbers to call, a detailed script, and tips.

Unfortunately the only thing that got me through my list of 25 registered voters was the idea of actually reaching Pos or Molly on the phone. Here's the tally:

7 wrong numbers (4 within the first 10 minutes)
12 voice mail messages
2 busy signals
1 “She’s tired of getting phone calls.”
1 “No, not right now.”

And only two live people. Two.

Of 25 calls, I actually spoke with two people.

What's more depressing, they were both women and hardcore Hillary supporters.

You're not supposed to waste any time once you've identified a hardcore Hillary-head, according to the script. You're supposed to say "Thank you, have a great day, and good luck pulling your head out of your ass."

I made up that last part.

Confession: I did deviate slightly from the script with the two Hillary supporters, only because I'd never actually spoken with someone who plans on voting for her.

"I'm voting for Hillary," says Julia.

"May I ask why?" says Hedy in her friendly/curious tone.

"Sure," she says. "It's because of her experience and I just don't know enough about Obama. Can I ask why you're voting for him?"

"Sure," I say and give her all the reasons I've given you a hundred times before. Not politics as usual, works for the people, doesn't take money from PACs or big oil, and knows how to shake his ass.

Then there was Brenda.

"May I ask why you're voting for Hillary?"

"Because I prefer her."

Brilliant.

"Okay, then. Thank you and have a great day."

And good luck pulling your . . .oh, never mind.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: 4 Minutes - Madonna/J. Timberlake
I am reading: Mary Queen of Scots by Margaret George
And I am: Busy

But a bitch ain't one

Read this story from the Washington Post, then tell me Obama isn't fucking brilliant.

It makes him even cooler than we thought and wipes out the bullshit elitist label in one move.

And Hillary doesn't dare criticize his appreciation for rap music because, well, you know why.

Brilliant.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If you feelin like a pimp nigga, go and brush your shoulders off

Ladies is pimps too, go and brush your shoulders off

Niggaz is crazy baby, don't forget that boy told you

Get, that, dirt off your shoulder
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Prediction: Within the next 48 hours Hillary will make reference to some inane pop song and parade out her iPod for public inspection.

Clinton Staffer #1: "But what are we gonna do? It's all fucking Barbara Streisand and that skinny bitch from Canada, whatshername? Celine Dion."

Clinton Staffer #2: "Get on iTunes. Now. Give her some Madonna - she's a whore, but she's from Michigan and they love us there - and Mariah Carey. Sprinkle in some of that soulful feminist crap from Sarah McLachlan and Dido, but for God's sake nothing too angry. No Alanis Morissette."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Of course this rap revelation does absolutely nothing to help Obama with the Crabby Old White Guy demographic. But they were never big fans anyway.

You just know Rush Limbaugh or someone like him will ask the question: "Do you people really WANT someone who listens to RAP MUSIC in the WHITE HOUSE?"

I guarantee they're looking up the lyrics now.

And it would be dubbed BallerGate, if those silly out of touch bastards actually knew what a baller was.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The best part of all this?

If Obama really is a Jay-Z fan, then he's definitely got 99 Problems on his iPod.

If you're having girl problems I feel bad for you son

I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one

Brilliant.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: Dirt Off Your Shoulder - Jay-Z
I am reading: Mary Queen of Scots by Margaret George
And I am: Chill

Only outlaws will have pillows

Did you hear? Those crazy Brits have outlawed Samurai swords, of all things.

I'm guessing it's what finally killed that old coot Charlton Heston.

"Samurai swords are part of Japanese history and genuine artifacts can change hands for large sums of money. But in recent years there has been a trade in reproductions which can be bought over the Internet for as little as £35 and they have been used in several attacks."

Several attacks? Jeez, no wonder they banned 'em.

Actually, according to this web site, there have been upwards of 80 sword attacks in England over the past four years. That's roughly 20 per year.

"Care for a spot of tea, Charles?"

"How can you think about tea at a time like this, Camilla? I'm simply overwrought by this Samurai sword crisis. It's got my smalls all scrunched."

"Let me help you with that."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
According to this fascinating little tool brought to you by the CDC, there were 2,097 cut/pierce homicides per 100,000 in the United States in 2005 (the most recent stats available.)

Homicide suffocation deaths per 100,000 for the same year: 633.

Yes, I understand there are more of us silly Americans and therefore more of us silly homicidal Americans.

But Charlton Heston is DEAD, people.

And when pillows are outlawed, only the outlaws will have pillows. Seriously. Moses has left the building so there's no one left to protect us from the bleeding-heart Brits and Michael 'I'm a fat retard' Moore types.

So I say use your guns to protect your pillows and swords, and don't give up without a fight.

Now I'm off to get a new bumper sticker.

It'll be 'You will take my pillow when you pry it from my cold dead hand' or 'Charlton Heston is My (dead) President.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: The Chris Matthews show
I am reading: Everything
And I am: Re-loading

I’ll bite on Wright

“Okay, I gotta ask,” says Mom this morning. “How come you haven’t written about Obama and that Wright minister?”

“Oh, I don’t know. I’ve been trying to stay clear of writing on anything religious lately.”

Neil Steinberg wrote a short piece on it yesterday in the Sun-Times and acquitted Obama quite nicely as we’ve come to expect. You can read it here.

My man Steinberg is always good for leveling the playing field by drawing comparisons to similar situations throughout history. It works most of the time.

However, as Mom is quick to point out, Obama is a member of Wright’s church and has been for 20 years. We also know that, at least since Harvard and possibly much earlier, Obama has wanted to run for president.

So if this preacher spent every single Sunday spewing the kind of hateful crap YouTube has made him famous for, I’m guessing Obama would’ve left a long time ago – simply to avoid any kind of major political fallout.

The fact is, these are sound bites. Offered up by the media. And we know that no one in the media ever, ever has an agenda, right?
~~~~~~~~~
This is what’s most ironic and interesting about Wright: This golden-robe wearin' dude is a hardcore, rolling-around-the-aisles, speaking-in-tongues Evangelical Christian.

Where are all the right wing-nuts who proclaimed Obama is secretly a radical Muslim set to destroy our fragile Christian nation if elected?

If anything, this silly non-scandal was orchestrated by the Obamites themselves to crush any last vestige of the Muslim rumors.

Can I get an amen here? Hallelujah!
~~~~~~~~~
I know you’re not running for office. But indulge me.

There’s at least one person you know and love who says crazy-ass, embarrassing shit once in a while.

If you were running for office, would you abandon this friend or relative because of their views? Of course not.

“Is it true, Ms. W_______, that your husband Jim believes Jesus Christ was an alien and will eventually return to take all the half-human/half-aliens back home in the Mother Ship? And don’t you think this is a problem with you running for Queen of the Neighborhood?”

“Yes, it’s true. My husband believes he is descended from aliens. What does that have to do with Gort! Klaatu barada niktu!”

Listen. Obama’s doing everything he can – more than any candidate in history quite frankly – to make sure we know where he stands on the issues.

So he’s got at least one freaky acquaintance.

So what? This makes him like the rest of us. And there’s nothing wrong with that.
~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: Ghost Riders in the Sky – Johnny Cash
I am reading: Into the Wild by Jon Krakauer
And I am: Gort!