Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Some things

I've learned over the past few months (post life-altering job change):

You can, in fact take a dump during a conference call
When not dumping, you can clean something
It's better than doing other work, which can be distracting
Best to focus on the voice(s) on the phone and scrub a toilet or sink
A handful of peanuts and a couple Mini Babybels is a good lunch
You've gotta get up and move around a little
15 hour days are good for you - really
If you can take a break and scratch your dog's belly for 5 minutes
Your dog knows when you need a break more often than you do
Someday I will yell "SHUT THE FUCK UP" at the phone
And it won't be on mute
You can get very tired of hearing the word "brethren"
Keep your phone on the charger
Keep your laptop plugged in
The music at Panera seriously sucks
The music at New York Bagel Deli on Wacker at Jackson is way better but they have no wall outlets
(A seriously bad business decision on their part)
Snow days are regular work days when you work from home
Sick days are regular work days when you work from home
Sometimes you just have to work from the couch all day
Just when you think you can't do any more...you can
Nobody knows where you are
And better still, nobody cares
Some days there's just no time to shower
It's bad when you wake up humming the hold music for your company's conference call service
When your Mom brings you a sandwich and tells you to take a break
It's the best sandwich you've ever had in your life
And you wish she could be there every day, reminding you to slow down
That it'll all get done, eventually
I am listening to (and sort of watching): The Devil Wears Prada
I am reading: The God Delusion by Richard Dawkins (trying again)
And I am: Not working tonight

Wednesday, March 09, 2011


"Vegas is amazing. There are whores EVERYWHERE."

"So you fit in nicely?"
I am listening to: Gromit lick his butt
I am reading: Fall of Giants by Ken Follett
And I am: A little tired