Sure this is a cop-out but what the hell, it's already written:
1. I have eight scars, the longest of which measures more than eight inches.
2. Oprah Winfrey changed my life. Seriously.
3. I fantasize about living in Paris for a year.
4. I feel best when I’m wearing brown.
5. I love my dog Gromit more than 90% of my relatives. Of course that doesn’t include you, [insert your name here.]
6. Old cemeteries are among my most favorite places on Earth.
7. I worship the sun but am ruled by the moon.
8. Tidal waves are my biggest fear. Thank the gods I live in the Midwest.
9. The older I get, the less I like talking on the phone.
10. My life is fabulous because of three people: My parents, who gave me a great start. And my husband Jim, who gave me a happy ending.
11. If I could go back in time and visit my 18-year-old self, I would say: a) Go to a community college until you figure out what you really want to do; b) Stop screwing around so much and try holding hands once in a while; and c) Trust your gut. It’s always, always right.
12. Nelly Olson really pissed me off.
13. I would wear a baseball hat every day if possible.
14. The Twelve Dancing Princesses is my favorite fairy tale.
15. It’s difficult for me to swim in bodies of water where I can’t see the bottom.
16. I’ve already written my acceptance speech for the Oscar for Best Original Screenplay. How fucked up is that?
17. I do not believe that men and women are equal. We couldn’t be more different and should be treated that way when it makes sense.
18. I eat spoonfuls of peanut butter straight from the jar on a daily basis.
19. My favorite joke: What did the Dalai Lama say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything.
20. I prefer listening to talking and dancing to singing.
21. I worked in a liquor/convenience store (The Party Pantry) throughout high school and college. It was without question one of my all-time favorite jobs.
22. I’ve had some fairly meaningful conversations with trees.
23. I can count my regrets on one hand. And most of them are recent. No, I’m not telling what they are.
24. It would be great if Christians paid more attention to Jesus' life than his death.
25. I am trying to live my life with a more open heart.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: The busy busy washing machine
I am reading: Nobody's Fool by Richard Russo (I like it even better than Empire Falls)
And I am: Home again home again jiggity jig
2 months ago
6 comments:
"16. I’ve already written my acceptance speech for the Oscar for Best Original Screenplay. How fucked up is that?"
I only know who I am going to thank, as I need to know which of my many unmade films I am getting the Oscar for before I write the actual speech.
"12. Nelly Olson really pissed me off."
She wasn't even hot. No way was she worth the effort.
"7. I worship the sun but am ruled by the moon."
What does that even mean?
"4. I feel best when I’m wearing brown."
I feel best while wearing black. Or gray.
"7. I worship the sun but am ruled by the moon."
What does that even mean?
It's fairly literal. I love baking in the sun. I know it's bad for me but it makes me feel better. And as for the lunacy, my mood kinda goes haywire around full moons.
1) I actually enjoy licking my anus.
2) I like the taste of yellow frisbees
3) I love having my picture taken
4) Gays don't offend me as much as bigots
5) I don't understand the physics of propane
6) I don’t really like smelling crotches but I am compelled by them
7) I too am afraid the pool will explode like a volcano and disappear
8) I think birds are God’s only mistake… they should have wheels
9) I don’t talk to trees anymore… I piss on them… they’re rude…
10) Oprah Winfrey is fat and bad for the country
11) I prefer squirting to pooping and barking to growling
12) My favorite joke is any joke Jim tells
Old cemeteries are among my most favorite places on Earth.
I have to agree with this. As an amateur genealogist, I love spending an afternoon in an old forgotten cemetery transcribing gravestones.
Weird huh?
For the record and archives...
I forgot to sign my comment above...
Grommie
Hey Kvatch - not weird at all. People who don't get graveyards are really missing out on some amazing stories. And they're not creepy - even at night - they're some of the most peaceful places on earth. Thanks for being here. I'm adding a link to you now.
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