The Story of What I Believe (In Three Parts)

Part One: Confusion

When I went away to college way back in 1985, I knew just one of the four roommates I was assigned. It was close quarters for sure – five people sharing a two bedroom/one bath suite, but we worked it out most of the time.

One of those roommates happened to be a born again Christian.

Sometimes referred to as Evangelicals – these Christians are non-denominational, believe in a very literal interpretation of the Bible and are profoundly devoted to Christ. Central to being born again is the concept of “accepting Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior” which often occurs during a personal crisis of some nature.

President Bush is a good example – he became a born again Christian after realizing he had a serious problem with alcohol.

Please understand that not all born again Christians become believers at a moment of crisis. However, the very nature of this type of faith – the concept of having all your sins washed away in a moment of accepting Christ – draws a large number of people that, how can I put this delicately, have lead pretty fucked up lives for the most part.

The other key aspect to the born again crowd is the concept of witnessing – spreading the “good news” to everyone. It’s important that they share their personal experience with Christ with as many people as possible.

Having grown up Catholic, I had never heard of this kind of Christianity and it was fascinating to me, these people who believed they had found The Truth.

From 1985 to 1992 I moved around quite a bit and had a lot of roommates. And somehow I always ended up with at least one born again Christian.

You could put them in two categories: The Quiet Believers and The Jesus Freaks.

The QB’s were easy to be around – confident in their faith and devout without shouting. They would answer your questions if you were curious, but didn’t throw it in your face all the time.

You can guess what the Jesus Freaks were all about: I AM A BORN AGAIN CHRISTIAN! I AM SELF RIGHTEOUS AND JUDGING AND DON’T YOU FORGET IT!

The best Christian roommate I had was AJ. She once said, “Even if what I believe isn’t true, even if Jesus didn't die for my sins, I am living a good life. These are good principles to follow.”

I liked that. AJ was the one who explained to me that these new Christians weren’t interested in the ceremony and rhetoric that organized religions offer; they follow a more direct path to salvation by fostering a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.

I really didn’t get the whole personal relationship with Christ thing, but the concept of having a spiritual existence without religion struck a chord with me as I had never once felt close to God in a church (I felt mostly just scared and out of place.)

Sadly, the majority of new Christians I encountered were Jesus Freaks and their blind faith could be disturbing and frightening at times.

“Ever since college, somehow I’ve always had Christian roommates,” I told Lori, a huge Jesus Freak and the last roommate I ever had.

“Maybe God is trying to tell you something,” she replied.

Yep.

God was telling me to live alone.