Inflamed wieners

A few weeks ago I walked through the better parts of the Loop behind a backpack with the following words printed on it:

6th World Congress on Inflammation
Vancouver
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In·flam·ma·tion n.

1. The act of inflaming or the state of being inflamed.
2. A localized protective reaction of tissue to irritation, injury, or infection, characterized by pain, redness, swelling, and sometimes loss of function.

Not to be confused with:

Flambé v.
To drench with a liquor, such as brandy, and ignite.

This is just speculation, but I’m thinking more than a few flambés have led to some unexpected inflammation. Oui?
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Just think: These folks gathered at least six times to talk about – of all things – inflammation.

And it’s not a simple meeting or conference. It’s a World Freakin’ Congress, for pity’s sake.

What do they talk about? Isn’t inflammation just a symptom of some other problem like a burn or cyst? And is there a special session on boils?

[Editorial note: Boils are my favorite type of inflammation. What’s yours?]

“Are you going to the WCI this year, Betty? It’s gonna ROCK! David Blaine is the keynote. He’s gonna soak in a brandy-filled aquarium for three days and then set himself on FIRE.”

They party it up, watch a slide show and do shots of Jagermeister every time somebody says “inflamed.”

“Oh, look at THAT one, Stanley. That one’s REALLY inflamed.”
“Is that the frank or the beans?”
“YOUCH!”
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Speaking of franks, yesterday afternoon I found myself walking through the Loop again, this time behind a backpack with “Johnsonville” on it.

Johnsonville. As in bratwursts.

Again, fascinating. What did this person have to do to get a Johnsonville bratwurst bag?

Send in proofs of purchase? Win a brat-eating contest?

The obvious answer is that she works/worked for them. But that would be too easy.

I prefer to imagine the following:

“Keep eatin’, honey! Just 12 more to go and Momma gets her bratwurst backpack!”
“Brats for dinner again? I want some chicken, Momma!”
“Shut UP and EAT your BRAT, brat!”
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I looked up boil, just to be certain it qualified as an inflammation. I think it does:

Boil n.
A painful pus-filled abscess on the skin caused by bacterial infection of a hair follicle.

On the way past boil, I discovered:

Car·bun·cle n.
A multiple-headed boil

Ew. Completely lost my appetite for brats.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: Wire Train – Last Perfect Thing
I am reading: Vanishing Acts by Jodi Picoult
And I am: Neither hungry nor inflamed