You Christians

“Good morning, you Christian,” I said into the phone on my way to the train station today.

“Good morning, you flag-burning slut,” replied my Mom, who loves me way more than I deserve and in spite of my somewhat progressive views.

She says I’m too hard on Christians.

She’s right, as usual.
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Yesterday, a Sun-Times article stated that 90% of Americans believe in God.

90%.

The article didn’t say which God, but I’m fairly certain the majority adheres to the most popular flavors of Christianity – they're Catholics, Lutherans, Baptists, Methodists, and Protestants.

As with most religions, there’s also a teeny-tiny faction of Christian fundamentalists – the whack-jobs who bomb abortion clinics and scream at the funerals of U.S. soldiers who died in Iraq “because God hates fags.”
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So why are you so hard on Christians? Because of the fundamentalists? They’re not even close to representing the true face of American Christians.

I know that. Of course not.

I’m tough on Christians for two reasons. The first one is logical, the second completely irrational (hey, at least I can admit it, you flag-waving fascists.)

Let’s talk logic first so those of you who don’t feel like diving down the rabbit hole with me have the option to cut and run.

Christians are the majority in this country. By their nature, majorities tend to a) believe everyone else is just like them (because a good percentage are), and b) ignore or marginalize the small groups of people who aren’t like them.

It’s not unique to Christians, either. In any situation, the majority will do this.

If you haven’t guessed by now, I am not part of that majority. I am part of that quirky lesser-known faction that doesn’t believe in organized religion, Christian or otherwise.

As a minority, it’s my job to stand up and remind the majority that everyone isn’t like them. Because that’s what minorities tend to do.

That’s why I had a Darwin fish on my car for a long time. Not because I’m a militant theosophist – but because I wanted to remind the folks with those ubiquitous Jesus fish that this is the United States.

Again, with the patriotism. The Fourth of July is coming. Consider it a Theme Week.

I love this country because I can worship who or whatever I want, as long as I don’t hurt anyone. I love this country because of its diversity, not in spite of it.

And I’m tough on Christians because they need to get their noses tweaked once in a while to be reminded that we’re not all the same, goddammit.
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Now, for you brave souls, stick around and pop the red pill. The rest of you, please punch out at this point.

I am tough on Christians because I’m angry. Actually angry is too benign for what I feel.

I am outraged. Pissed off. Punch-a-fucking-wall nuts with fury.

I’m angry because the flavor of Christianity that I got growing up (Catholicism) focused solely on the died-for-our-sins aspect of Christ.

I didn’t get the love-others-as-yourself part until much later and I had to figure that out all on my own, thank you very much.

I’m NOT pissed at my parents (we’ve talked about this.)

I am pissed at organized Christian religion for twisting and perverting Christ’s true message of love and acceptance and peace into sin-focused bullshit rhetoric.

Tell me, what’s a better message?

That we’re all sinners and going to Hell unless we worship some dead bearded dude?

Or that we’re all essentially the same and we should treat others as we want to be treated, with love and respect?

Take either route and you’ll supposedly get to heaven. Doesn’t my way – what I’ve come to believe is the true Christian way – sound just a little more rational and meaningful?

The concept of sin has caused the subjugation of women for thousands of years. Sin is a word that separates people into the classic Christian us versus them mentality. And I’m convinced that focusing on sin is what’s lead so many pedophiles to become priests (or vice versa, who the fuck knows.)

So yeah, I’m hard on you Christians.

Because just like Jesus, I expect more out of you.
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I am listening to: Redneck Woman – Gretchen Wilson
I am reading: The Devil Wears Prada by Lauren Weisberger
And I am: A flag-burning slut