Monday, August 07, 2006

The intelligent up-sell

It’s 8:45 Sunday night.

I’m at the corner Walgreens on an emergency run for what Jim charmingly refers to as field dressing.

You’re prolly thinking this is too much information, but trust me, there’s a point.

Usually there’s a perky little high school chick working the cash register. Of course that’s not the case tonight – it’s a high school boy with rubber bands in his braces.

Great, I think, setting the conspicuous pastel boxes on the counter without looking up.

“Can I interest you in some chocolate-covered PayDay bars? They’re just two for a dollar,” he asks.

You’ve got to be kidding. There is no way this kid is up-selling me chocolate.

“What the HELL is THAT supposed to mean?” I scream, grabbing a fistful of his cheap Walgreen-issued uniform and jerking him over the counter. “Do you think because I’m buying nearly $20 worth of feminine products that I NEED chocolate? Huh? Ya pimply little PUNK! ANSWER ME!”

That’s not how I replied. Really.

But I thought about it.

It was a good thing I noticed the big two-for-a-dollar PayDay display on the counter before responding.

“Thanks, I’m all set,” I said with a smile.

He smiled back through his braces, more knowingly than any high school kid should.
I am listening to: Bob Dylan – Things Have Changed
I am reading: PGA Championship schedule
And I am: “Cute and need to go shopping,” according to Jim.


the dilf said...

you ever have to buy condoms from a 18 year old girl behind the counter?....."Uh...could you hand me a box of the MAGNUMS?"....What am i gonna do with Magnums????...I'm the epitomy of the Average White Man!!!!!!!