Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Ya had me

Dear Buddha,

Your book is great.

I get the whole ‘oneness in everything’ thing. Your instructions on being a master of your mind were very helpful. And that compassionate wisdom concept? Just beautiful.

But what’s up with this regarding the Duties of Brotherhood on page 386?

“First, they wear old and cast-off garments; second, they get their food through alms-begging; third, their home is where night finds them as under a tree or on a rock; and fourth, they use only a special medicine made from urine laid down by the Brotherhood.”

Heh?

I gotta drink pee to achieve Enlightenment? What the hell is that all about?

Ya had me, then ya lost me, Buddha.

Your disappointed fan,

Heather
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Why do the world’s major religions have to ruin things with their quirky little rules?

Jews: Abide by God’s laws, love one another, don’t eat bacon.
Catholics: Love one another, don’t eat meat on Friday.
Muslims: Love other Muslims, bomb everyone else.
Hindus: Love one another, don’t eat beef.
Buddhists: Love one another, drink piss.
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The Buddha book really had me. It’s not nearly as challenging to read as the Bible with all of its begats, chapters, psalms, and shit.

The Teaching of Buddha is for the most part practical, interesting, and logical.

And I really like the fact that it is unequivocal on the equality of all people – especially when it comes to men and women.

The Bible is peppered with misogyny – both the Old and New testaments. And don’t even get me started on those kooky Muslims and their screwy views on women.

It was so refreshing to find a religious text that doesn’t emphasize an “us versus them” mentality. You won't find one word about smiting thine enemies in the Buddha book.

It’s all love and compassion. Except for that urine thing.
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Before all you Really Smart People go writing about how unfair it was for me to categorize all Muslims as fundamentalists, lighten up. Seek your Inner Sense of Humor.
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From what I understand most of these silly religious quirks were: 1) leftover sectarian practices from that particular time or 2) inserted by religious or political whack-jobs with their own agendas.

Either way, I’m quite certain that I won’t be washing down my hamburger with a glass of piss this Friday.
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I am reading: The Teaching of Buddha
I am listening to: R.E.M. – Talk About the Passion
And I am: Disappointed

2 comments:

groundhogger said...

you seem to have touched on everything but the Tao. the writings of Lao-tse are difficult for me to argue with. I've tried twice to comment but seem to not get through, maybe this will fly.

Groundhogger

CawfeeGuy said...

ROLMAO!
FABULOUS!