Tuesday, July 08, 2008

Reasons I'd like to be a man (or husband)

My Dilfy friend Moe was whining like a little bitch about how he's all outta fresh ideas for his blog. So I made a deal with the fascist free marketeer that I'd help him out with a bit of blog fodder today.

20 reasons why I’d like to be a man (or husband)

1. No bleeding, bloating, or bitching every month
2. No underwire bras
3. No shaving your legs/under your arms
4. You rule the world, albeit badly
5. You can screw around all you want and you’re a stud (not a slut)
6. The world is your toilet
7. The dog respects you
8. No panty hose
9. You never have to concern yourself with finding any of your stuff because your wife will always locate it for you
9.5 On that same note, you never have to concern yourself with putting away any of your stuff because again, your wife does that for you
10. You get gray hair and look 'distinguished'
11. You have no hair and you look 'sexy'
12. As the primary breadwinner, you get to lord it over the rest of us
13. You NEVER fake an orgasm
14. You get old and you win a 'trophy' wife, while we get old and are labeled after pathetic, predatory felines
15. You receive a blowjob in the White House and get away with it
16. You’re physically stronger – handy for unscrewing lids and carrying luggage
17. You seem to have been born knowing the difference between a Phillips and a regular screw driver
18. You make more money for doing the same (and often less) work
19. You can wear the same thing every day and no one notices
20. You never seem to be troubled by clutter or dust or crumbs
I am listening to: Enjoy the Silence - Depeche Mode
I am reading: Nothing but work stuff lately
And I am: Actually pretty happy being a chick, mostly because of Moe's reason #9


Anonymous said...

Reason's I Would Like to be a Woman or a Wife

1) I could play with my own funbags

...ah ...okay... that's enough for me!

The Un-Bitch

Moe Wanchuk said...

Listen Sweetie...I've faked an orgasm! I can only ....you know....Hump so much!

Anonymous said...

Well now that he mentions it. I've faked orgasms too.
This does not come as a suprise to women does it?