Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Big day

Warning: The following entry is about politics and therefore naturally includes several Very Bad Swears. You sensitive, easily offended pussy-ass types would do well to avoid HedyBlog today.
Finally. Today’s the big day.

Mid-term elections?

Nah, the last day of all those awful, ass-eating political commercials.
“I gotta remember to vote tomorrow,” said me at lunch yesterday.

“Who are you gonna vote for, the douchebag or the cunt?” said my decidedly eloquent friend and co-worker, Jim the IT guy.
From porn to politics: Here at HedyBlog, we’re full service for sure.
Yep. Douchebags and cunts.

That about sums up our options here in Illinois. How are things in your state?

The race for governor here is particularly devoid of substantive choices.

Our governor (the aforementioned douchebag and current Democratic candidate) has 10+ scandals that have rocked his administration since he took office. Plus he has Exceedingly Bad Hair.

The current Republican candidate (and aforementioned C U Next Tuesday) has practically no scandals but was literally thick as thieves with our previous governor who is heading to Federal Pound Me In The Ass (PMITA) prison this January.
I use the Neighbor Test for politicians.

If this candidate was your next-door neighbor, would you socialize with him? Would you have a beer with her? Let him borrow your tools?

Sadly, both gubernatorial candidates in Illinois failed the Neighbor Test. Miserably.
Public service.

I’d like to believe that folks are drawn to politics because they want to serve the public.

That’s what it is supposed to be about, anyway.

And maybe a small percentage of them have good intentions starting out but by the time they find themselves in the throes of campaign season, all that goes out the window.
"Under democracy one party always devotes its chief energies to trying to prove that the other party is unfit to rule - and both commonly succeed, and are right." - H. L. Mencken
I’ve seen only two positive TV commercials for candidates since they started airing in earnest about three weeks ago.

The rest are ugly and irritating.

I heard somewhere that going negative is viewed as the only way to win an election. I find that hard to believe.
I am not a Republican because I believe women should have the right to choose. I also believe in stem cell research. I believe that free speech covers flag waving and flag burning alike. I believe in social programs designed to help the poor and disabled – especially children, old people and veterans. I believe that anyone who wants to join the rest of us in the joyful misery of marriage oughtta have that option. I don’t believe government should be in the business of bailing out businesses. I believe that religion, Christian or otherwise, has no place in public institutions including our schools. And I believe that if people are willing to risk their lives to come to this country to work for a better life, they should be welcomed with open arms and the large companies that benefit from them being here should foot the bill.

I am not a Democrat because I don’t like high taxes. I don’t believe in gun control. I believe that privatization is the best way to solve problems in public schools. I don’t believe that throwing money at social problems is the answer. I believe that English should be the main language spoken and taught in our public schools. And I believe that diplomacy only goes so far when it comes to foreign affairs and that sometimes ya just gotta blow the evil motherfuckers right the fuck up to ensure the safety of your citizenry.

Find a candidate who matches my beliefs and she’ll get my vote for sure.

And maybe even a beer over the fence in my backyard. Maybe.
I am listening to: Nothing
I am reading: Nothing
And I am: Sore