Free crazy

Is this bad?

When I walk down the stairs in my house I hear the theme song to Deal or No Deal in my head.

Dun dun DUN da da da DUN dun dun!
Dun dun DUN da da da DUN dun dun!

I march down the steps like I’m a hot, size 4 bimbot toting a briefcase worth a million bucks.
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I’m no more nutty than these guys:

LOS ANGELES (AP) — Orthodox Jews who want to use a strand of fishing line several miles long to create a symbolic religious enclosure are getting entangled in a dispute with beachfront residents and California environmentalists, who fear the string will snag birds and spoil the ocean view.

The 70 or so families who attend a synagogue on Venice Beach's boardwalk are asking coastal regulators for permission to string the line above one of Southern California's most popular stretches of sand. Within that enclosure, the Orthodox would be free to do things they are forbidden to do outside the home on the Sabbath, such as pushing strollers and carrying bundles.

Orthodox Jews cannot do work or certain physical tasks outside the home on their day of rest and prayer, which begins at sundown Friday and ends at nightfall Saturday.

"It's a major social inconvenience," said Lea Geller, who dreads spending Saturdays indoors with her newborn while her family walks to prayer at the Pacific Jewish Center.
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It’s a major social inconvenience?

It’s your religion, honey.

And putting up some string and calling it a wall is just crazy.
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At least one person agrees:

"This is really nuts," Mark Massara, director of the Sierra Club's California Coastal Program, said of the proposal. "To the extent that we're allowing public property to be used for religious purposes is very troublesome."
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Speaking of crazy, we’ve got this from our friends in Minnesota:

By Oren Dorell, USA TODAY – Scores of Muslim cabdrivers in Minneapolis who say their faith prohibits them from driving passengers with alcohol have sparked a debate over how far a government must go to accommodate Islamic law.

Muslim cabdrivers at the Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport have been refusing to take passengers who carry wine or spirits from duty-free stores or who are loaded down with bottles after visiting wine country.
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You’re a cab driver. You’re Somali Muslim. A fatwa is issued prohibiting you from transporting alcohol. Do you:

1. Find a new job
2. Relax about your rules just a bit since you’re not the person who is actually consuming the alcohol
3. Piss and moan about the fact that you have to wait up to three hours for a fare that’s not carrying alcohol
4. Expect the local government to make special accommodations for your religious restrictions

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"When I'm American, I have freedom to practice my religion and freedom to work anyplace I want to work," says Abdisalam Hashim, a Muslim from Somalia who manages Bloomington Taxi. "This is the way we address Islam. We have the right to say this is how we do it."
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But wait, there’s more:

For two years the Metropolitan Airports Commission, which regulates taxi service at the airport, had been in discussions with drivers about how to accommodate them.
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Two years?

I love this country. Really, I do.

Freedom of religion is one of the very best things about living here.

But your freedom of religion ends when it starts costing the rest of us time and money. Practice your religion in privacy.

And if it interferes with you carrying bundles or booze, the practical thing to do is re-think your religion or line of work, rather than expecting the rest of us to accommodate your particular brand of madness.
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Look, Ma!

I wrote about religion without picking on "You Christians."

Woo-HOO!
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You are NOT gonna believe this. In the middle of writing the above section, like a sign from the god of your choice – DING DONG – the doorbell rang.

What are the odds that a member of the Christian fringe would come calling at exactly that moment? Hmmm?

"The end of the world is near!" said Jim, returning from the front door to hand me a copy of the Watch Tower.

Jehovah's Witnesses. Almost enough to make me a believer.

Almost.

If it was Jesus himself, maybe.

Until he arrives, I’m gonna keep walking down those steps, fantasizing about briefcases and Howie’s cute little bald head.

The best part?

My craziness isn’t costing you or anyone else a goddamned thing.
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I am listening to: Dun dun DUN da da da DUN dun dun!
I am reading: Steinberg in the Sun-Times
And I am: Free crazy