Monday, November 06, 2006

Game on

Get ready for the results from:

The First Annual HedyBlog Internet Porn Survey


I just had to do that again since it was so much fun the first time.
76% of you watch porn on-line.

What does this tell us?

76% of the HedyBlog audience is male.

Seriously. Most chicks don’t dig porn.

If you’ve got a wife or girlfriend who is into it as much as you, then you better give her an extra long shtup tonight because she’s a keeper for sure.
Your survey didn’t include a question regarding our gender, so how do you know that most of the readers that responded are male?

Good point, I should’ve included that. Next time for sure.

But based on questions that allowed for free form comments, it was obvious that mostly men were responding. (e.g. Why do you like on-line porn? “Tits”)

Either that or I have a huge and decidedly inexplicable lesbian following.
I’m sure you’ve heard this before, but the results weren’t surprising because men are more visual. Women are more aural.

“Goddamn, I wish my wife was more aural!”

Not that kind of oral, you stooge.

Aural as in:

au·ral adj
relating to the ear, hearing, or to receptiveness and response to speech or other sounds.
Hedy, I hate to tell you this, but your numbers are probably skewed because men were more likely to respond to a survey regarding porn. Self-selection and whatnot.

Right. Gotcha.

Again, this is an unscientific poll.

And it was my first time, so cut me some slack here. I promise the Second Annual HedyBlog Internet Porn Survey (Ta-da! Clapclapclapclapclap) will be better.

“In his landmark interview studies in the 1940s and '50s, conducted with nearly 17,000 men and women, Alfred Kinsey and his colleagues found that 54 percent of men and only 12 percent of women reported being erotically aroused by seeing photographs, drawings, or paintings of nude people.”
And what did Jimmy-poo have to say about his wife’s porny little blog on Friday, hmm?

He was completely outraged.

“You NEVER make me dinner. Borrowing Wesson oil, my ASS.”
Why do you watch on-line porn?

Mostly because it’s entertaining and fun, you said.

But also, there’s this – which I suspect is the real source of every man’s preoccupation with porn:

Cuz i don’t get enough action from my wife...Take the last 5 nights for example..."I'm too tired, how ‘bout tomorrow, I have a headache...Can we watch Grey's Anatomy first?" Then she falls asleep...I don’t need another girl, cuz i love humpin’ my wife...but the Internet never has an excuse…and it's always willing and available...I don’t see it as cheating, cuz I've touched no one but myself!
85% of you spend upwards of 10 hours each week viewing porn.

That’s almost 1.5 hours a day on the high/horny side.

Here are some follow up questions to think about: How much time do you spend each week having sex with your significant other? Is it more or less than the time you spend on porn?

What does that tell you about how important sex is to you? To your significant other?
It was surprising to learn that 73% of you get your porn from free sites.

I thought for sure it was from sharing with friends, but that was a close second.

One porn aficionado was particularly helpful:'s a peer to peer site

What do you like most about on-line porn?

Variety and hot chicks was the big trend among your answers.

Again, not surprising. Men crave strange.

It’s that primal caveman need to spread yourselves around that most women can’t relate to.

But here’s the other thing that us chicks could learn from:

I love watching what those girls will do...I would do anything to get my wife to do just 10% of what porn stars do...I don’t need anyone other than my wife....I just want her to have a heartbeat and get a little crazy.....Fun sex is not "Sick"'s Fun!

And another comment:

I love the chicks – they are so game on it's unreal – they love sex and will do ANYTHING
Point taken, boys.

We need to make more of an effort to get creative and make you feel like you’re wanted when it comes to sex.

We’ll explore that topic a little more in a blog titled “A little something for the ladies” later on this week.
At the same time, I really hate to be a cynic when it comes to women and sex, but of course they’re “game on” and willing to do ANYTHING.

They’re porn stars. And they’re getting PAID for it.
Are you saying that if I start paying my wife for sex she’ll jingle my balls a little better?

No. I’m saying it’s a job for porn stars. They’re being paid to create a fantasy just for you.
fan·ta·sy n
1. the creative power of the imagination
2. an image or dream created by the imagination
3. the creation of exaggerated mental images in response to an ungratified need
4. an unrealistic and impractical idea
I’m not saying most wives aren’t capable of being porn stars in the rack.

You did, in your responses.

And that, my friends, seems to be why porn is so popular.
Finally, a Great Big HedyBlog Salute to the two people (yes, just two) whose significant others know exactly how much time they spend with on-line porn.


There’s a twisty little relationship between the “why you like it” question and the “does your spouse know” question, for sure.
So what have we learned from this? Porn is the norm.

Here are some final questions: Would you still spend as much time and energy on porn if you were getting laid as often as you’d like?

What are you going to do with this information?

Are you going to apply it to your relationship with your significant other? Or are you going to continue browsing porn, more guilt-free than ever?

Whatever you decide to do, thanks for participating in the first HedyBlog survey.
I am listening to: Trick Daddy - Sugar
I am reading: A presentation on lab-based implementations & upgrades
And I am: Stupid, for leaving my goddamn lunch on the goddamn train again.