Thursday, October 11, 2007

I'd rather be lost with dry pants

“How’s your butt?”

“Heh?”

How's my butt, I think. How's my butt? It's fat and kinda jiggly. And I'm all for experimentation, but if he thinks we're gonna be exploring new realms at this late stage of our marriage, the timing couldn't be worse. Seriously.

“How’s your butt?” Jim asks again, with a sneaky little smile.

“It’s . . . fine,” I say with obvious trepidation. “How’s yours?”

Then I start to feel it. A tiny bit of warmth coming up through the seat.

Feels like I’m peeing my pants.

It was cold out and Jim decided to try out the seat heaters in the new car on the way home from dinner.

Ahhh.

An odd bit of relief and discomfort came over me. Kinda like when you pee your pants.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My old car was a ’98 Honda with nearly 200,000 miles on it. It was my all-time favorite because it was the first one that I actually picked out and saved for and bought on my own.

Of course 1998 was before all them fancy schmancy navigation systems that are pretty much standard now.

We thought the map thingy in the dash of the new car was extremely cool until the first time we went for our usual summer night drive on the farm roads and realized that we’d never be able to truly get lost again.

It was more depressing than peeing your pants.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: Cowboy Junkies – Misguided Angel
I am reading: Nothing – still recovering from Harry Potter
And I am: Missing my Honda

6 comments:

S.Ray said...

Hedy...I'm DYING to know what kind of car it is?...and WHY you didnt tell us, what kind of car it is.

Taxman said...

Hedy, help us out a little. I've been looking at these hybrids too. I don't really see you as the Prius type (cool if that's the one you went with). The Saturn and the Civic are probably considered more 'marketing person' type. Let us know which one you chose. Congrats on the new car and keep on keepin' Green.

phatdoggy said...

Hedy bought a 1974 Chevy with aftermarket seat heaters and a pimped out sound system with one of those nav screens that pops out and flips around. When she said new, she really meant new to her, although I will say it looks liek brand new. Click on my name to see a picture of Jim filling the old beast up.

I love seat heaters. MsMoo's red rocket has 'em, and I almost decided to pay $300/seat to get them in my Exploder - all in the name of having a hot ass!

Hedy said...

I forgot about that pic, phatdoggy. Where were we going that day? A Greenpeace rally? I think so.

Posolxstvo said...

You know, they do sell cars without nav systems. And without seat heaters too. You just have to pay less. I realize how unamerican that really is, but you know sometimes you have to give something up to get what you want.

molly gras said...

Sweet ride!

Nothing like a warm fanny to get you through a Chicago winter.

[I'm just jealous that our Toy Sienna didn't come with such bitchn' wheels!]

FYI - your word verification thingy: tzueo = formal Chinese attire for men