Wednesday, June 25, 2008

I passed

From Hedy, to Jim via e-mail on June 20:

Check this out – the results of my personality test. Apparently I’m an ‘ambivert’.

From Jim to Hedy via e-mail 20 minutes later:

“Your behavior may be offensive to those who are socially proper.”
Yep. A personality test.

It was part of the screening process at this new place.

I had to sit at a computer for 40 minutes sweating out whether “I prefer praise or presents.”
Read your report with an open mind, without prematurely judging its accuracy. Some statements may not be complimentary; however, it is essential that you not become defensive. Remember, the information presented in this report is based solely on the answers you gave to the questionnaire. We suggest that you read your report several times, and allow yourself to thoroughly analyze and integrate the information. It is imperative that you understand the relationship between each individual trait description and your overall behavior.

The purpose of this report is not to compliment or criticize you, but rather to bring into focus areas that may need attention.
Presents, of course. Definitely presents.

Praise is nice, but it doesn’t teach you anything.

That’s one of my favorite quotes. No idea who said it.

But I'm sure she liked presents, too.
The whole point is to answer honestly, rather than trying to make yourself look good. And they put these silly “control” questions in to keep you in line.

For example: “I am the queen of the universe.”

You really have to pay attention to the wording and punctuation in each question.

Had it said “I am the Queen of the Universe” then I would’ve said yes, of course.

Tricky, these brain invaders.
The accuracy of the test was immediately called into question when I came upon this silly statement:

You have little, if any, desire to be the center of attention, and dislike having an audience. You are very unlikely to say or do anything that would cause others to focus their attention on you.

This test clearly wasn’t on the beach in Longboat Key last year when, juiced up on tequila, I whipped off my bathing suit top to ‘let the girls have a swim’ in the ocean. In the middle of the afternoon.
You also do not go out of your way to gain the respect of others, or do things simply because you think society expects it. Consequently, you are very casual about social rules and tend to set your own standards of behavior. This can cause you to do some things which others may consider to be eccentric or anti-social.

Then again, maybe this test was on the beach in Longboat Key. Hmmmm.
Under the “flexibility” trait: You are rather slow to accept changes in your environment, and would prefer that most things stay as they are. In your career, home, and social life, you are content with the routine of patterned activities and rarely seek out new and different experiences.

Under the “boldness” trait (two sections down): As a rather adventurous person, you are receptive to trying new and different experiences. You rarely hesitate to venture into new and unfamiliar environments.

I could blame these inconsistencies on the test.

But I’m clearly whacked.

And just really happy they hired me in spite of my anti-social, hermit-like tendencies.
I am listening to: I'm Yours - Jason Mraz
I am reading: Sin in the Second City by Karen Abbott
And I am: Obviously conflicted


Anonymous said...

Those tests are bullhockey.
I was given a psych test that said I was dogging it and if it were left to me the world would go to the dogs. Surely, every dog deserves his day but these are dog days indeed and I was dog tired the day I took the test so stop dogging me with the dogma perpetuated by these dog gone tests!

Pavlov's Dog

ps - The oldest dog that has been reliably documented was an Australian cattle-dog named Bluey. He was put to sleep at the age of 29 years and 5 months!

Cindiloo said...

Congrats on the new job!!!

Moe Wanchuk said...

She's BSin all of you...I got the actual results

1.)You're obsessed with boobs and p**p.
2.)You're not a're a left wing loony tune.
3.)You've had an insane amount of desire to punch your boss in the teeth.
4.)You're infatuated with some dope named "Moe"
5.)You hate to shower
6.)You think dumb people should be clubbed like harp seals
7.)You are secretly in love with some stupid chicago newspaper writer
8.)You're still mad you didn't get accepted to MSU
9.)You've secretly deleted a few comments on your blog....LIAR..LIAR..LIAR
10.)You're a total MILF....You're Hired!

******This test result is owned by the Chicago Prison System and can not be re-distributed without our prior knowledge******