Thursday, June 05, 2008

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of Crap

Spoiler alert on the new Indiana Jones movie; don't read this if you plan on seeing it soon.
I am now convinced that if Steven Spielberg could've figured out a way to include aliens in Schindler's List, he would've done it.

"But Mr. Schindler, you can't save anymore people, the list is full," says Ben Kingsley.

"DAMN YOU, tiny Hebrew list man! There's always more room on the MOTHER SHIP!"
The upside: Because I'm unemployed, we were able to catch the early bird special, so we're only out $10 for this ridiculous time waster of a movie.

I remember seeing the original Indiana Jones movie for the first time. It was fresh and funny and exciting and so different from all the other crap movies out back then.

This time around, everyone - including Shia LaBeouf and the silly aliens - looks tired and bored and ready to cry.

Which is kinda how I felt leaving the theater.
I am listening to: The Space Between - Dave Matthews
I am reading: Literally, The Best Language Book Ever by Paul Yeager
And I am: Disappointed


Anonymous said...


I was wondering if you might do a blog on the great dogs of the movies. Didn't a dog play a pivotal roll in Shpielberg's ET?

I guess there are some obvious ones like Lassie and Bengie and Toto and who was that big St. Bernard?

Anyhow, I just feel we K'9's get short shrift when it comes to our role in the history of Hollywood and the movies...

I'd sure like to take a crack at some of the classics...

Hmmm, do you think I could be in the pictures Hedy?

Ooo how about this one…
"Come back, Shane! You owe us child support, you cheap motherfucker!"

Or this one?
“Pay no attention to that asshole behind the curtain."

"Here's looking at you, you cheating whore."

Here’s one…
"Frankly, my dear, I don't give a fuckin’ shit."

Sir Gromit

Susan said...

As bad as National Treasure?

If it was "National Treasure" most of been horrible.


Posolxstvo said...

Gromit - Benji was a bedwetting pansy dog. Frikkin' Hooch, from Turner and Hooch. Now *that's* a dog.

Posolxstvo said...

Oh yeah, and I heard that they're making a movie out of Marley and Me, starring Owen Wilson. There is just so much about that that is so so wrong.