Good Things Friday – Magneto Edition

Did my very first 5k last Sunday – walked 90% of it but it felt great

Like the very start of something wonderful

Next 5K is in May, then another in June

I’m wearing flip-flops today

Just had some Light & Fit yogurt – blueberry is best

Had a GREAT conversation with Da this morning

Belly laughed with him about an extremely heated political argument we had on Monday

It felt soooo good

I told him about the first time I ever heard the word ‘magneto’

I must’ve been about 6 or 7 and he was taking apart the lawn mower

And explaining all the different parts

I remember feeling like I really needed to hold on to that moment

And soak in everything

Like the little gray sponge in the air filter

Mom & Da are really enjoying his retirement

It’s fabulous

Jim comes home tomorrow from his annual spring European tour

He is not a rock star in the classic sense of the word

But very popular there nonetheless

He was in Basel, Switzerland for part of the trip

I like saying Basel

BaselBaselBaselBaselBasel

It feels good, you should try it.

Bah-zle

Magneto is a good word too

Magnetomagnetomagnetomagneto

I missed Jim but the house sure stayed clean this week

My good friend Jim the IT guy showed me how to digitize our DVDs

I’m halfway done ripping Season 3 of Six Feet Under

It’s a good project

He recommended MakeMKV for ripping DVDs – it’s fast and easy to use

And Plex Media Center for Mac for managing and viewing our whole digital library – music, tv shows, movies, photos, etc.

It’s pretty slick and I can’t wait to get it connected to everything

Been listening to Green Day’s American Idiot this week

It’s one of those rare albums you can listen to all the way through

So much poetry, so much intensity

Really captured the Bush/Cheney era

I watched this Butterfinger commercial 30 times last night

Could not stop laughing

Something about the sound the phone makes when it hits his forehead

Awesome

Had a great week at work

Selected our new corporate logo/brand

Next up is the web site re-launch and exhibit booth

After 20 years of doing this stuff I still get excited about it

There’s a man on the corner of Wacker & Washington who says

“Have a blessed day”

To everyone during the morning and evening rush

It’s our dear friend Judy’s last day at the firehouse today

She’s going off on an exciting new adventure after 14 years there

I’m a big proponent of shaking things up and going on adventures every so often

We’re wishing her nothing but the best

~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am listening to: Green Day – American Idiot

I am reading: Nothing

And I am: BaselBaselBaselBaselMagneto

Good Things Friday - Only If I Have to Edition

This morning I opened a yogurt and SPLAT - it shot out all over my chest.

Not as sexy as it sounds.

Seriously.

Then I opened an orange juice - same thing.

By 10 a.m. I looked like I'd been rolling around in the gutter.

Which also is not as sexy as it sounds.

Anyhow, I'm at work crabby as hell and then the mail came, including a letter from the Make a Wish foundation here in Chicago.

Thanking my company for donating some Bulls tickets a few weeks back.

In it, was another letter from a boy named Tony:

Even though the past two years were the worst days of my life, I have been so fortunate to have so many people reach out and be so kind and thoughtful. I cannot believe that someone would actually give up such good seats to someone they do not even know. Please let them know that I had one of the best days of my life and I was SO GRATEFUL.

I have no idea what this boy's life is like.

But I do know that the petty bullshit-stress-drama-whathaveyou we deal with on a regular basis is nothing compared to the life or death struggles of this kid.

This kid that I don't know. Who had one of the best days of his life because nobody here could use our court side tickets.

Also:

An IM from my friend Taxman earlier today

Asking about the Friday blog

And telling me that my former friend Spike called him Hedy Jr.

(which Taxman says he took as a compliment)

Which made me smile

I made Spanish rice last night and it was excellent

I have RUNNING SHOES

My first 5k EVER is this Sunday morning

It is a walk/run

I will be on the walk side of things but this is the first of many races

In which I hope to eventually run

Had a great conversation with my friend Kyra on the way home from work Wednesday night

Found out my parents are going to Hawaii with us for An Extra Special Wedding in November

To have (most) of the people I love the most in my most favorite place on Earth will be unimaginably outstanding

Road the train in with Susan this morning

Went walking with friend/neighbor Debbie two nights this week

The Daily Show with Jon Stewart makes me laugh out loud pretty much every day

Antonio and his crew came this week for the spring yard clean up and it looks OUTSTANDING

Plus, they cut out an area for the vegetable garden I'm planting next month

The research is fun

I cried a little yesterday thinking "Gosh I wish my Grandpa Kammer was here so I could ask him questions about growing a garden. What a great conversation that would be."

It was a sad, totally unexpected cry but took me to some very good memories

I am trying to figure out if his garden was really as big as I remember or if I was just so small

"I'm thinking Blackberry tonight" - email from Jim just now

It'll be three date night Fridays in a row for us

Understanding that some people survive on bullshit alone

And I am not one of them

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am listening to: Somewhere Over the Rainbow by Iz

I am reading: A client case study

And I am: Grateful

Good Things Friday - Bubbly Edition

My new song list: Hed's Happy Time Tunes

My toes are a-okay and ready to be pedicured tomorrow

Walking to/from work instead of the bus - it's a hike but I love it

The cab driver who gave me a copy of the Quran Wednesday

Today is pay day

Planning date night

Planning a trip to Michigan for Mother's Day

Planning You-Know-Who's big 50th birthday in LG

Planning the trip for Nelson's wedding in Hawaii

The juggling balls from Judy for my birthday - love them

Doggies in a car next to the bus - smiling at me

My friend/co-worker Kathleen got engaged

Her ring is gorgeous - I rarely feel jealous but this is Gee Whiz Amazing Beautiful

That's about all I've got today for some reason.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am listening to: The Rainbow Connection - Sara McLachlan

I am reading: Nothing much

And I am: A-okay

Good Things Friday - Late Late Edition

Today was the final battle in a life long war against my in-grown toe nails

My doctor puts smileys on the bandages

"Petersoned"

As in:

Jim the IT guy: "If I was Jim, I'd have Petersoned your ass long ago."

Me: "Petersoned?"

Jim the IT guy: "Yeah, as in Drew and Scott. Petersoned."

LMAO

I signed up for the Sweetness 5K on June 5

The movie: Sweet Home Alabama

A classic chick movie

Jake (Josh Lucas) is just awesome

Jim making me belly laugh via email today

The word 'putz'

As in, since we have no plans this weekend, I am going to putz around the house

Weather permitting, I will cut the grass for the first time this weekend

I can't WAIT

The movie: He's Just Not That Into You

Great scenes between Jennifer Aniston and Ben Affleck

Sure wish she could get more roles like that because she's not an idiot

My chiropractor

This song/video: I Love You, I Love You, I Love You

The user group/meetup I started last month now has 88 members

And people are attending from Minneapolis and Kansas City this month

It's just cool

New song by Pink: Glitter in the Air

It's just beautiful

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am listening to: Pink

I am reading: Nothing

And I am: Relaxed

Good Things Friday - Late Edition

Marking days off my calendar with a blue marker
Which may not seem like much of a good thing
But I was out with mono for most of Jan/Feb so it's satisfying
Blue is for in the office, red is mono and the pink dots represent days I've worked out
Sharpies
I moved my desk at work on the advice of a Feng Shui consultant and it actually feels really good
I'm happy to say I've never shit my pants as an adult
I realize that could change at any time
It's been 80 degrees the past two days
Where are all the "Global Warming is Bullshit" folks now - the same people who crowed about all the snow
During one of the warmest winters on record
Assholes
(Assholes are not a good thing)
But oh well
I have flip flops on and it's April 2
A co-worker April fool'd me yesterday via text
I liked the emotional roller coaster - "Oh, NO" "You asshole!" "Hilarious!"
It felt good
My toes are bright pink
Well I think more fuschia
I had to look up how to spell fuschia
I've been walking to/from work instead of taking the bus or a cab
It's a 35-40 minute walk
I see a lot of cool stuff
Like men placing small squares of plywood near a building
"What are those for?"
The next day, a scaffold was sitting on the small squares
Now I know
I am blessed beyond belief with the best husband on the planet
He makes me laugh and cooks and helps me take life less seriously
My co-worker was on the news this morning for a Make a Wish room makeover
For a 12 year old girl with Long QT syndrome
(this is not a good thing)
But seeing her smile at the new bedroom - all purple and fun - was pretty cool
Hearing about a lot of people getting new jobs - hopeful sign that things are turning
Lunch with my friend Susan yesterday
Sitting on 'our' bench in the park
In the sun
Catching up
Was lovely
Text message from Jim just now: "Do you want to do a date?"
My response: "Sounds great!"
I have a full container of Wet Ones on my desk
(unrelated to the earlier statement about shitting my pants)
But it's a comfort having them
Figured out how to switch the phones over myself (moving my desk)
The phone lines in the server room were like spaghetti
But not so complicated when you really focus on what needs to be done
From my new desk, I can see the five buddhas in the conference room
And they can see me
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: Indigo Girls - Closer to Fine
I am reading: Not much
And I am: Closer to fine

Angry Republicans

Here’s what confounds me most lately: All of these Republicans – they’re angry at people they’ve never met who’ve supposedly taken something from them they never had.

You know them.

The angry people. There’s a lot of them lately.

They’re angry at the current state of affairs and they’re blaming lazy, unmotivated, freeloading illegal immigrants and lazy, unmotivated, freeloading poor people. Or they're blaming socialist/communist Democrats (which if you understand anything about socialism, communism, or Democrats, you'd know there's no way in hell to be any of those three things all at once.)

Let’s take a step back, shall we?

Let’s take a long, deep breath.

Mmmmmm. Ahhhhhhhh.

Now let’s try – really try – to understand why things are the way they are rather than screaming at the sky all the time.

First, illegal immigrants. Republicans are very angry at people who come to this country illegally. Why don’t they go through the proper channels? Why do they think they can just come here and why don’t they learn English and why why why?

1) The majority of illegal immigrants come here for jobs
2) Jobs that are offered by people
3) People who, for whatever reason, don’t want to pay a fair wage or health insurance or unemployment insurance or anything else that employers are legally required to pay
4) If the illegal jobs weren’t offered, people wouldn’t come here
5) Why would anyone break the law to come to a foreign country to work at jobs that no one wants for crap pay and zero benefits?
6) Maybe it’s because it’s slightly better than what their own country has to offer and maybe they have families they need to feed
7) And wouldn’t you do the same?
8) Is it so hard to imagine someone desperate to provide for their family – are all of us fat, happy Americans so disconnected from reality that we can’t see this as a possibility
9) And have a little compassion?
10) Here’s a better question: Why is all the Republican outrage directed at illegal immigrants (foreign and brown) and not at the people making money off of them (wealthy and white)?
11) Republicans want a crack down on illegal aliens but they don’t want to look at the source of the problem – the illegal employers.

Next topic: Republicans are angry that someone, somewhere out there is getting a Free Ride.

Think of someone you know. I am right now. He’s a relative, so no, I’m not thinking of you.

They haven’t held a job most of their life, living off the good graces of family and friends. Occasionally, they come up with a Brilliant Plan for Making It Big This Time involving some un-small monetary investment on your part that invariably ends in a fizzled up pile of frustration and excuses.

We all know at least one person like this. Maybe two.

If you’re fortunate enough to be a member of two or three different families (mom’s, dad’s, spouse’s), odds are you’ll know two or three of these people, but no more.

Because:

1) Most people want to work
2) The national unemployment rate is around 10% right now; 9.7% to be exact
3) During good times, it hovers around 3%
4) Which means 97% of the U.S. population is gainfully employed
5) Which means 3% or less of the population will always be unemployed
6) Because for some, that’s the way they want it
7) And there’s nothing we can do to convince these people they should work
8) So why waste all of this anger on something a) will never change and b) we can’t do anything about?

Oh and if you’re thinking most of those people who don’t want to work are non-white – I hate to tell you this, you’re a racist.

Here’s the bottom line (mostly because I’m at work now and can’t write anymore):

Rather than being angry and/or afraid and looking for someone to blame – rather than being overly concerned with a small percentage of people you’ll never, ever change – here’s a thought: Why not be the fearless, powerful self you are and try to make a difference in the world?

You’ll feel better. And quite frankly, so will I.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: Counting Crows – Rain King
I am reading: Nothing good lately
And I am: Fearless and powerful

Good Thing Friday

Here's to the best thing that ever happened to me: My Mom.

Today is her birthday and I'm ever so glad she was born.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: Tracy Chapman - Sing For You
I am reading: Not much
And I am: Happy

Good things Friday

I am wearing my favorite new comfy-cuddly sweater/wrap thing from Ann Taylor Loft
I do not look like this in it
Jim calls it a poncho
“Is that a real poncho or a Sears poncho?” - Frank Zappa
The sun is shining and it’s relatively warm
A big golden dog smiling, hanging his head out the back seat of a Jeep
Kicked off a user group this week that is going to be huge
Remembering the last time I had an uncontrollable giggle fit
It was at a small playhouse in Chicago with my friend Susan
“Do you know what the Nazis did first? They took all the guns away from the Jews.”
The actor stopped in the middle of her monolog, looked at us and said, “Is there a problem?”
Which only made things worse
You really had to be there
Da’s birthday is tomorrow
I am so grateful he was born
Planning a trip to Michigan in May to shop estate sales with Mom
Planning Nelson’s annual trip to Chicago in June
Planning Susie’s annual trip to Chicago sometime this summer
The “Bang” song from How I Met Your Mother
A date with Jim at the Roundhouse last night
It’s so cool and amazing how, after all these years, we still have great conversations
The restaurant Yolk on Wells in River North – great omelets and amazing fresh fruit
I’m finally awake and thinking clearly after two months of mono
~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: Some jerk yap yap yap
I am reading: Nothing much
And I am: Comfy-cuddly

Good Things Friday - Hairy Mammoth Edition

I’m finally kicking the mono’s ass instead of it kicking mine
The famous 'hairy mammoth' of Chicago
Laughing with Mom on the phone
My fingernails look great
The sun is SHINING!
Lunch @ Portillo's with Jim the IT guy today
Going to dinner with the You Know Who’s tonight
“That looks a little big on you, let’s try the medium.” - the angelic and delightful salesperson @ Ann Taylor Loft in Geneva Commons
The Old Spice commercial – “I’m on a horse.”
Still haven’t had any chips since June of last year in spite of many opportunities including a special 'mono dispensation' from Jim
The upside to mono: lots of reading. Recommended: Game Change, The Lost Symbol, and Hawaii by James Michener
“Practically every week I hear somebody say ‘You should see all the great things Heather is doing for LCG.’ We really screwed up letting you go with Larry.” - the guy who fired me 2.5 years ago
“Well I believe everything happens for a reason and I’m really happy now.” - my response
It’s funny – I didn’t even think before saying that, it just came out. Must be true.
~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: Phoenix – If I Ever Feel Better
I am reading: Nothing right now
And I am: Rockin'

The myth/math of networking

I've mentioned it before: The best jobs never get posted to Monster or Careerbuilder.

If you're in the market for a new gig, it'll find you. That's the power of your professional network. It can be explained using this simple formula:

R x T(I) = QPN

R = Reputation
T(I) = Time spent in an Industry
QPN = Quality of your Professional Network

If you're good, this isn't something you should really need to work at - your professional network just grows through the normal course of your career.

That said, I'm not a huge fan of the new millennium brand of Networking.

You go to a 'Networking' event. You chat with an ass-load of boring people you don't know. And, according to Expert Networkers, VOILA! BAM! POW!

Business comes your way.

Not so much.

And here's why. Let's call it Hedy's Neediness Quotient.

Well maybe not quotient. Theorem? Ack. Hypothesis?

Eh, fuck it, I was never much into science.

Let's call it Hedy's Neediness Something-or-Other That Implies It's Not Quite a Rule Yet But Should Be.

THEORY, Hedy?

Yeah, that sounds fine. And fuck you, I'm a little rusty, cut me some slack here.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What's the goal of networking? To help your business, right?

You find people who need what you're selling OR you find people you need to hire to help you sell more. Right?

But the more needy you are, the less likely you'll be able to provide something of value to other networkers. Right?

And the less needy you are, the less likely you'll need to attend a networking event.

See the problem? The people who have the most power to be of help at networking events AREN'T THERE.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I've been trying to figure this out for months. Well off and on for months.

Okay, maybe just for a few minutes here and there while I'm on the crapper, but still.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"The difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large matter--it's the difference between the lightning bug and the lightning." - Mark Twain
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'm working on another theory for how this relates to the usefulness of social media. Again, it's all about needs.

99% of what gets Twittered, Facebooked and LinkedIn'd isn't worthwhile to anyone but the social retard who posted it. Myself included.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I'm an introvert, that's why I don't do networking events."

That was my original reason but it never quite sat well. First of all, I believe that "introvert" is mostly a state of mind - we can choose to be outgoing and sociable if we deem it worthwhile. More on that another time.

Today I've finally (roughly) figured out the real reason why I've always been so negative on networking events: They're simply not worthwhile for people like me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Please. Tell me if I'm full of shit on this. Or if I'm just full of shit in general. It'd be great to hear from you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
But Hedy, what about the altruistic aspect of networking? What about just putting yourself out there to be of some small help to The Universe?

I can think of other ways to do that - ways that don't involve making small talk with strangers while downing crappy crudites and piss-warm wine.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: Dream Big - Ryan Shupe & the RubberBand
I am reading: Zeitoun by David Eggers
And I am: Rusty

Where ya bean

When I was a kid, I thought we were all human beans.

Green beans. Lima beans. String beans. Jumping beans. Baked beans.

And human beans.

Learning that I'm not a bean was one of the single most disappointing moments of my childhood.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Speaking of my childhood, I've spent the past year dissecting every aspect of my existence in a class Jim calls Charm School.

It's over now.

And this is one of the first Tuesday nights I've had free since last year around this time.

I went into the class thinking I was relatively self aware (food issues, anger issues, and maybe some - yikes - sex issues) but overall a relatively healthy, functioning human bean.

The class helped me figure out some pretty important things about myself and it took a lot of my time and energy to do so. Thus the lack of writing.

Or the lack of public writing anyhow.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Here's the thing: Way back in Oh Hell Whenever I started writing here, I swore I'd tell the truth.

The unedited, unpretty, and the unpolished.

I uncovered a lot more of that sort of stuff in Charm School and it became decidedly dangerous and uncomfortable to let some of it fly here.

Or maybe I'm just a coward.

Anyhow. That's the poop.

This feels like I'm easing back into something comfortable and comforting, so we'll see where it goes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: The fan on the Mac
I am reading: Hawaii by James Michener
And I am: FINE

Mono without all the fun of getting it

I am realizing - by the stilted reactions of several acquaintances - that there's a bit of a stigma around mono.

"Mono? Feel better."

"Mono? How'd that happen?"

"Mono? I always knew you were a whore."

You get the picture.

I sincerely wish I'd had some of the fun involved with contracting this evil virus. It would make having my ass embedded in the couch so much more enjoyable, with at least a few good memories to pass the time.

Mono IS contracted via saliva. It can be spread if a person sneezes on their hand and then shakes hands with someone or touches a door knob/handle.

Which is how I got it. I'm assuming.

Perhaps this isn't the best time to confess my penchant for sucking on door knobs?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: A very quiet house
I am reading: A user experience assessment for Zumies
And I am: Crabby and tired

MORE Good Things Friday

"This is Dr. Zimmer from Dr. C____'s office, has anyone called you about your blood work yet?"

"No..."

"You have mono."

"That's GREAT. I'm not crazy."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pos: "You may have mono, but that's not a mutually exclusive condition from 'crazy'."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: Gromit breathing
I am reading: Googled 'mono'
And I am: Relieved

GTF - Late Edition

"You're sick again?"
"Not again. Still, apparently."

Anyhow, here are some good things from the past week:
"You've lost 5 lbs. since we saw you between Christmas and New Year." - my doctor, today
Watched Slumdog Millionaire - good story, a little contrived, but good.
And the soundtrack is awesome
Taught myself how to add motion to a PowerPoint presentation
It might not seem like a big deal to you, but as one friend puts it, I'm easily amused
All of the Christmas decorations are finally down/away as of last weekend
I am wearing Christmas socks, compliments of Mom.
They are comfy.
The Red Cross, making it easy for all of us lazy-asses to help Haiti via texting
Craig Ferguson
Talking to Judy last night about her brilliant book exchange idea
"Did you hear Pat Robertson said Haiti made a deal with the devil?" - me
"And that's why they've been living so well all these years?" - Jim
I've been having my nails done on a regular basis for about two months now
My hands have NEVER looked nice - and now they do
It's a totally girly thing but it makes me feel good so fuck it
The mentor meeting went well last week - I'm supposed to write my obituary by Jan. 22 when he gets back from Mexico
I don't think he's planning on killing me - yet
I am wearing my favorite sweatshirt from Granite Peak in Wausau, WI
The house is clean
Two weeks, 4 days from tomorrow I'll be on my favorite beach with a few of my favorite people
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: CNN Haiti coverage
I am reading: Ugh - nothing
And I am: Tired and crabby

Good Things Friday – Back in the Groove Electric Boogaloo Edition

The 2009 holiday season was the best EVER

A fabulous pre-Christmas trip to Michigan to see family and friends

Nelson and Bec are getting married in Hawaii this November and it's just crazy-awesome-cool

Skiing in northern Wisconsin – one of my very favorite traditions and a great way to kick off every new year

I'm not a great skier but it's relaxing and fun for me

The cupcake charm Mom sent for my Pandora bracelet is wonderful

"You're a cupcake. And who doesn't love a cupcake?" - Mom

1Password – software that keeps all your password, ID, credit card, and software license info in one secure and easily accessible place

Sorry, it's only for us really cool Mac people

Jim built an amazing, awesome bar in the basement

He’s calling it the Wong Way Inn

(his nickname is Wong)

It makes me think of my favorite golf joke

Anyhow, it’s growing on me

Can’t stop watching the new Star Trek movie

It’s just good clean fun

And Leonard Nemoy's cameo is priceless

Good week back at work

New Motorola wireless headphones for Christmas - fantastic sound quality, and so much easier on my tiny ears than those damn iPod earbud thingies

I hate the word 'earbud' it sounds like something ugly growing in my ear

Finally sucked it up and got another copy of my Best of Ed Bruce CD, which was stolen years ago

Definitely one of my top 5 favorite albums

“Everything’s a Waltz” and “Mommas Don’t Let Your Babies” are sublime

Ed Bruce actually wrote the song made famous by Willie and Waylon

And sang it way better than them on this CD

The guy’s like 80 years old now and still kickin’ with the ding-dang sexiest voice on the planet

Like a very old Kid Rock

He had a cameo in Public Enemies with Johnny Depp

My boss and a co-worker made it home to Chicago last night

Keith at the front desk and Andre the Giant - two guys in our office building who keep things running smoothly

It's the only way I can remember his name - he's Andre and he is the Largest Human Being I've ever met

I have my first meeting with my mentor today finally

He scares the crap outta me, that’s why I asked him to do this

Had a pretty horrible dream on Monday but by Wednesday had it mostly figured out

Fantasizing about everyone on the train singing “Mommas Don’t Let Your Babies”

It’s been like eight or nine months since I’ve had a crunchy/salty chip

Still haven’t given up sweets as planned

But I’ll get there

Realized yesterday that 2009 was the best year of my life

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am listening to: TLC – Diggin’ on You

I am reading: Eat, Pray, Love…sorta

And I am: Like peace…in a groove

Trains, planes & automobiles

Because of the weather, I spent a good portion of today desperately trying to get two co-workers home to Chicago from Syracuse, New York.

Lessons learned:

1) Delta's automated phone thingy is rigged. It pretends it doesn't hear you say 'representative'. Every. Fucking. Time. How do I know this? I called them five times in the course of 90 minutes and no matter how clearly I enunciated 're-pre-sen-ta-tive' the automated douchetool said "I'm sorry, I didn't hear your answer, do you want to blah di blah di blah?"

2) "That flight was ticketed by US Airways, so you'll have to contact them." - United Airlines.

3) "That flight is operated by United Airlines, so you'll have to contact them." - US Airways.

4) If the tickets you're after are no longer available on the Delta site, try Northwest.

5) Expedia and Orbitz are completely worthless in this scenario -- apparently you need to "contact the airline to book these tickets" during snowstorms.

6) There are no Amtrak trains from Milwaukee to Chicago after 7:45 pm on a Thursday.

7) Contrary to its name, Metra's Milwaukee District North Line does NOT go to/from Milwaukee.

8) If you're super duper nice, the hotel folks will cancel your just-in-case reservation without a penalty.

9) To keep your job, resist the urge to say "You're fucked!" (like the gobble-gobble car rental clerk in Trains, Planes and Automobiles) to your stranded boss and co-worker.

I finally booked these guys on the only flight out of Syracuse that wasn't cancelled.

On Delta. Via the Northwest Airlines web site.

To Milwaukee. Via Cincinnati.

Here's hoping they made it home safely tonight.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am listening to: NBC 5 News

I am reading: Ugh - trying to get back into Eat Pray Love but haven't made it any farther than eat

And I am: Amazed it's Friday already

The last thing i want

Or perhaps it's the first thing.

Anyhow, the thing I want most right now is for what I'm about to say to not sound preachy.

Here goes.

How about if this year we shit-can all of those crazy resolutions we have no intention of (or let's be honest here, a real plan for) keeping.

And instead, we take a long, hard look at the deeper reasons why we

eat

drink

smoke

talk

shop

bitch

gossip

procrastinate

surf the Internet

[insert your favorite here]

too much and actually do something to change our lives this year.

It's difficult and it sucks but it's also amazing and real and enlightening and life-changing.

You ready? You with me?

Here we go.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am listening to: The Rose Bowl

I am reading: Eat, Pray, Love

And I am: Ready for 2010

CWC

In honor of Cuddly Wuddly Christ, Dave from RatherThanWorking, and the holiday season in general, here is my all-time favorite Christmas memory:

It’s December and we’re bringing down Mom’s mountains of Christmas decorations from the attic.

Da is up at the top of the stairs handing things down to us. Us is me, my brother Eric, and David, my boyfriend at the time.

It was a long process and we were all pretty crabby and dusty towards the end.

“Here’s a box of ornaments,” Da said. “Be careful.”

“Here’s the wreath.”

“Here are the outside lights, put those over in the corner.”

Finally, he got to the last box. The three of us looked up expectantly at Da, leaning down with that trademark half-serious grin.

“And here. Here’s the goddamned manger.”

Thanks to Da, every manger, anywhere (especially in my own house, dragging out decorations in December) is referred to as The Goddamned Manger.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am listening to: Bare Naked Ladies - God Rest Ye Merry Woop-di-do

I am reading: Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert

And I am: Unbelievably joyful

Good Things Friday - You Don't Need Shoes if You're Dead Edition

My iPhone isn't dead, just very crabby lately
My heavy winter boots which I thought needed replacing
Just needed a good cleaning/vacuuming and
Are pretty much the warmest things I own
They're ugly but get the job done
Unlike those fucking Ugg boots that are worthless in deep snow/slush
Going to the ChristKindl-Markt (which we call the Kringle mart) then dinner with Jim and The Millers tonight - it's going to be a blast.
Putting up the village tomorrow with Tina - one of my favorite holiday traditions
The Chipmunks Xmas song
3 Advil is the poor man's Vicodin
Jim's new baked Spanish rice recipe - YUMMY
Gromit actually looked pissed and covered his eyes with his paws Thursday morning when I turned on the light to find a book
It was without question the most human thing he's ever done
Right after knowing Mom was spelling F-R-I-S-B-E-E that one time
"Why does she need shoes if she's dying?"
Jim's Xmas lights on the house are beautiful
He always sneaks off and buys new ornaments a few weeks before Christmas -this year it's an excessively chatty Robby the Robot and a Twilight Zone TV
"Are those my bras?' I say to Jim as he brings in a small UPS box from the porch.
"Your bras would fit in this box?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: Mr. Hankey's Christmas Classics
I am reading: Nothing great right now
And I am: Getting there

Good Things Friday - Freezing My Baguettes Off Edition

BEST THANKSGIVING EVER - it was a truly collaborative effort and unbelievably fun, thanks to all of our good friends, xoxo!
Having some amazing, enlightening conversations with Mom over the past two days
Another favorite holiday tradition: Christmas Walk in Geneva tonight; hope to see you there!
Last year I knocked over a luminary and it burst into flames
Went to a Pampered Chef party at Mrs. You-Know-Who's with Mom W, Judy, and Debbie Thursday night
Jim: "You're just pissed off you don't have a penis."
For the first time in my life I have pretty fingernails and am getting lots of compliments on them
It's very girly and historically I've stayed away from high maintenance chick stuff, but this makes me inexplicably happy
My new lumpy brown $20 sweater from Target
Okay maybe I'm lumpy, not the sweater but who the fuck cares
My podiatrist has fixed the hell outta both ingrown toenails
His name is Robin and he's awesome
(I like it when he touches my feet)
(in a purely professional doctor-patient way of course)
(not really)
Anyhow, where were we?
I am writing again, just not here - more on that later
"Back Door Santa" by Clarence Carter
I now have a professional mentor - something new and interesting and kinda cool
Getting the Griswold family Christmas tree this Sunday
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: Blue Christmas - Elvis
I am reading: Drawing Down the Moon by Margot Adler
And I am: Pretty freakin' festive