Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Apologizing for the rain

I’m sorry for no blog yesterday.

I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.

Irritating, yes?

It’s because I’m an Apologizer. You know the type.

We apologize for every goddamn thing – even the stuff that isn’t our fault.

It’s what we do.
I asked Jim the IT Guy to lunch one day last fall.

After the standard where do you wanna go I dunno where do you wanna go bullshit, we looked outside and realized it was raining. Hard.

Having invited him to lunch, I felt bad for dragging him out into the cold wet city.

“I’m sorry it’s raining,” I said, as we walked through sidewalk puddles to the food court at Ogilvy train station one block away.

“Are you apologizing…for the RAIN?” he asked with no small amount of sarcasm and incredulity.
Today I am sorry for:

Not getting an anniversary card for my parents (their 41st anniversary was yesterday)
Not going to Palm Springs with my friend Nelson for Memorial weekend
Not starting my detox fast yesterday as planned
Not answering your e-mails quickly enough
Not being there for you when you needed me
First thought: It’s guilt. I apologize all the time because of a guilty conscience.

Maybe. But it’s gotta be more than that.

Perhaps I apologize because I want everyone to be so goddamn yippee-skippy joyful in my presence that if there’s something getting in the way of it, I feel…sorry.

There are some people who never, ever apologize. They see it as a sign of weakness.

Or if they do apologize, it’s one of those weak-ass “I’m sorry if you’re offended” sorries that isn’t really much of a sorry at all but a veiled, passive-aggressive You’re an Idiot accusation.
Got it: The answer is a Continuum of Sorry.

On one end, there are those of us who feel responsible for Everything.

Global warming. The price of gas. Your bad haircut.

On the other end, there are them that take responsibility for Nothing.

Ironically, these are usually the people most responsible for things like global warming, the price of gas, and your head, which looks like it was attacked by an angry and/or horny ferret.
I am listening to: R.E.M. – So. Central Rain (I’m Sorry)
I am reading: Not much lately
And I am: Soaked



And you're sorry that you haven't finished that book yet, right?
You're hilarious even when you're sorry.

msmoo1 said...

I'm sorry and guilt - interesting - I am experiencing that in my life right now - I am sorry that I DON'T want to go to KY (family issues) in two weeks (I AM going) and miss out on something that is important to me up here and feeling guilt about it all.


dr. detroit said...

-I'm sorry for being mean to Richard Prenger in High School
-I'm sorry I don't appreciate what I have
-I'm sorry I don't donate more time and money to charities
-I'm sorry that I will never accomplish my dreams, because I'm addicted to money
-I'm sorry I don't talk to my wife when I'm mad at her. She doesnt deserve that
-I'm NOT sorry that I hate Hillary Clinton!
-I'm sorry you have to actually look at me with my shirt off...I'd prefer pants off only!

other than that...I'm pretty happy!

Dave said...

"and your head, which looks like it was attacked by an angry and/or horny ferret."

Please provide further explication.

Regarding sorry, I find my self being pushed and bumped by someone clearly across the literal or figurative societal line and saying "I'm sorry."

On the other hand, I think it's a good thing to 'fess up when I've messed up. "I'm wrong and I'm sorry."

Hedy said...

Re: The ferret hair-do. I have no idea where that came from. But I did like the imagery of the angry and/or horny ferret. It made me happy.