Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Truth & consequences

This one came from HedyBlog’s silent partner/agent via IM yesterday:

"What is one thing that you'd LOVE to do? Or, if you could do one thing and would get in NO TROUBLE for it, what would it be?"

So, here’s my If I Could Do One Thing Without Consequences List (and yes, it’s more than one thing, shaddap):

Crash into bad drivers – Nothing more satisfying than plowing right into an ass-hat driver going too slow in the left lane and then leaving them stranded on the highway. This is my #1 non-sex related fantasy.

Have a Portillo’s Chocolate Cake Shake every day – If you haven’t had one of these yet, please do. It is like sucking up little bits of heaven through a straw.

Bret the Trainer - At the fitness center. His calves look delicious. And this is my #1 sex-related…well, I'm sure you get the idea.

Swim naked - Especially in the Gulf of Mexico. With good friends.

Rescue all homeless dogs - If it weren't for Jim, I would be that old lady you hear about in the news who lives with 73 dogs and piles of crap everywhere. Well, maybe not the crap part. In the no consequences scenario, there's no crap.

Speaking of crap - I would never poop again. There are some folks who enjoy nothing more than a good sturdy crap in the morning. Not me.

Tell chronic train yappers to shaddap – They usually just get The Glare. I do not have the courage to actually say anything because a) I don’t want them to feel as if they need to respond by talking MORE and b) You can never tell if a seemingly harmless yapper might turn into a deadly stabber.
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So, c’mon. Don’t disappoint me. What’s one – or better, a bunch of things – you’d do?
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I am listening to: A webcast
I am reading: Three Cups (thisclose to done!)
And I am: Still in melted buttery goodness mode

4 comments:

dr.detroit said...

1.)be the mansl*t i've always wanted to be..b*ng as many chicks as possible...have at least a 5 on 1...and they treat my body like a circus ride!

2.)Punch Hillary

3.)Torture Osama and his cronies

4.)Oil wrestle with 4 b*kini clad women like Dewey Oxberger in Stripes

CRUSTYBEEF said...

hmmmmmmm..
I may regret this later having had three glasses of wine, but I give you permission to post this:

1-have a little girl keep my body in it's present state and not have it affect us financially
2-Tell off my m.i.l when she's being rude to bigdogg
3-Run naked down a field during a sporting event such as the Canes in the National Championship Game
4-Smoke a BigFatDOOBIE with my parents
5-Go to a Swingers bar and not be freaked out if I'm hit on by women
6-Tell Off my gma when she's rude to my mom
7. Become Jewish but still maintain my Christian faith especially- Jesus, Christmas, and Easter!!
8. Hit on a woman at a swingers bar by using lines that are being fed to me by bigdogg

Okay, I lied,5 glasses, I'd better stop while I'm ahead.

Always,
Crusty~

10 inch said...

Ok ladies...I always walk around downtown in the summer and there are so many sexy women around. I always see a few that I would really love to go up to and just say...."Just give me 10 minutes....it'll be fun and No One will know".
How would you react to a decent looking dude asking you that....IF no one would ever find out?

Hedy said...

Mr. 10 Inch: I would respond to your intriguing and delightful inquiry, but there would be consequences. :)