Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Never again

“I’ll try anything once.”

That was me in my unfettered youth.

Now that I’m older and have tried just about everything, I can honestly say that trying everything is seriously overrated.

A person who is silly enough to say they’ll try anything once invariably ends up saying ‘I’ll never do THAT again’ even more.

So here’s the last of the silly hypotheticals for a bit: What is one thing you’d never do again?
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As usual, there’s always more than one:

Eat black licorice
Live with a guy
Perm my hair
Ski/snowboard
Anything wintergreen flavored
Have a one-nighter with a nearly anonymous frat boy
Wear my hair shorter on one side than the other
Play bunco
Smoke pot
Late-night White Castles
Read anything by Ernest Hemingway
Ditto Ann Rice
Raw oysters
Shop anywhere ending with 'mart'
Believe it when someone says “C’mon, nothing bad will happen.”
Amusement park rides that spin
Host a home shopping party
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By the way, unfettered is my all-time favorite word.
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There’s also the list of things I’d very much like to never do again, but will probably have to eventually:

Attend a wedding I don’t believe in
Wear panty hose
Go to a mall
Hurt a good friend
Have surgery
Get married
Barf after too many tropical drinks
Fly coach
Attend a home shopping party
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You’re planning on hurting a friend again? That sucks, Hedy.

No. That was originally under the Never Again list.

You don’t ever intentionally hurt someone you love.

We’re human. It happens. I’m a realist.
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Of course, there’s also the list of things that I’ll never do again that you’ll never know.

And now we never have to talk about nevers again.
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I am listening to: The Strokes – You Only Live Once
I am reading: Revolutionary Road by Richard Yates
And I am: Damp

3 comments:

Dave said...

Of course we have to talk about it, that's why there's the little comment icon at the bottom of the post.

No raw oysters, ever? No Hemingway? Alright, like White Castles (down here, Crystals), I supposed they are acquired tastes.

But, get married again? What's Jim's take on this?

Hedy said...

Oysters: Tried 'em once. It was like eating giant slimy boogers. Bleh.

Hemingway: Ever since The Old Man and The Sea in high school, I've had a bad taste in my mouth over him.

To clarify on the whole marriage thing, since several of you expressed concern:

"If I die, will you get married again?" I ask Jim.

"Nope. After you, I'm done. What about you, will you get married again if I die?"

"Nope. But if Mr. Hershey or Mr. Borders asked I would definitely consider it."

A friend said...

I notice swimming in the Gulf was not on your list of "never again's". So happy to hear that! I look forward to the next trip :)