Thursday, November 15, 2007

Back to elsewhere

“We have a very full flight folks and the plane cannot pull away from the gate until everyone is seated so blah de blah de blah.”

I’m in 23D. An aisle seat.

Aisle seats offer as much control as you can possibly have on commercial flights. I can get up if I need to. And I’m not relying on some fat gambling gramma to get outta my way should the plane decide to drop outta the sky like Dorothy’s domicile.
Of course it’s all self-delusional doo-doo. Who am I kidding?

Should the plane crash, my triumphant and powerful aisle seat will be filled with shit followed by my sad sinful remains and that’ s about it.
So the flight is full. A steady stream of travelers trek down the aisle, shuffling to their designated spots.

And I wait. Sans seat belt. For the folks in 23E and F to appear.

As a seasoned denizen of the aisle seat, you learn to not lock in too early. You get settled and strap in too soon and someone invariably arrives with a sheepish smile, pointing at the seat next to you.

The huge dude in white socks and Crocs mercifully plops down in 21C. The gray-haired angry-faced grandma with bad breath takes 22D (I know she has bad breath because she stands in front of her seat scowling at me until the last possible moment before we take off.)

The flight attendant comes through after the “cross check doors for take-off” whatever the hell that means and we’re off.

I’m the only person on the flight sitting in an otherwise empty row. I notice other passengers scowling in my direction now.

I move the backpack over to the space under the center seat ahead.

A luxurious stretch. A smile.

Once again I am heading elsewhere. Life is good.
I am listening to: Sheryl Crow - Leaving Las Vegas
I am reading: Wired Magazine
And I am: Sleepy



So, you finally met my grandma, eh?
She was probably just pissed that she couldn't light up a cigarette on the plane. :)
Have a safe trip back.

Dave said...

I know the comfort of an aisle seat. Only exceeded by an aisle seet on the bulkhead or the exit row.

I used to travel a lot. The great thing about frequent flying on Delta in the old days is that they saved aisles for FF's even if you went standby before or after your scheduled flight. I was even yelled at once, along with the flight attendant, by a fellow passenger who had checked for standby ahead of me and got stuck in the center seat, unfortunately next to me, on the aisle. Luckily, it was a short flight, much of which I spent at the back of the plane talking to the flight attendant.