Idiots & Assholes

Over the holiday I finished ‘The Devil Wears Prada’ by Lauren Weisberger.

When I started reading it on Friday I told a few friends that it was good, mindless summer reading.

I was wrong.

It’s an awful story that shouldn’t have been written, much less published.

Why is it so gosh darn popular then?

The author is a woman who worked as an assistant to Anna Wintour, the notoriously bitchy editor of Vogue. The book is a dishy, gossipy, fictionalized account of her experience at the world’s biggest fashion magazine.

And it's complete trash.
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Heather’s Theory #137: People are assholes because the rest of us let them get away with it.

Assholes aren’t born, they are made.

An asshole tries something once to see if they can get away with it – like cutting the line in traffic or at the store. If it works (nobody says “Hey, asshole! Wait like the rest of us!), then their bad behavior was rewarded and they do it again. And again.

Us non-asshole types have a responsibility to let others know when they’re displaying asshole-type behaviors.

And we can’t complain about assholes if we’ve done nothing to stop them.
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The main character of ‘The Devil Wears Prada’ is an asshole.

But she’s wealthy and powerful so people allow her to be an asshole in hopes that they will eventually benefit from it. The assistant in the book sacrifices just about everything – her morals, self esteem, friends, boyfriend and family – trying to meet this woman’s ridiculous demands.

In my estimation, the assistant is way more despicable than her boss.
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Yes, we should call out assholes on their behavior. But that doesn’t mean we should go around mistaking idiots for assholes, either. Idiots are the occasionally clueless folks who do stupid, unintentional things.

I’ve done it. You’ve done it. We all have the ability to be idiotic once in a while.

That’s why I’m particularly careful about confronting assholes.

Because invariably, I’ll display that same behavior within 24 to 48 hours after the incident. It’s a quirky little karma thing that I haven’t quite figured out yet.

So as the responsible, intelligent (ahem) participants in society, we need to use prudence in assessing any idiot/asshole situation.
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Then there are the Hopeless Assholes.

You can call them on their bad behavior but they’ll never change. These are the neglected children of the world who will do anything to get attention.

I mostly feel sorry for Hopeless Assholes and do my best to avoid them.
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Hey, wait a minute. This whole asshole thing you’ve got going here doesn’t seem particularly Christian, Miss I-Love-Others-as-Myself.

You’re right.

So let’s agree that when we’re doing our part to make the world a better place by confronting assholes, we should do it in a way that is loving and supportive.

Wrong: Hey asshole, stop yapping on the phone while you’re riding the train!
Right: Hey Mr. Asshole, stop yapping on the phone while you're riding the train!

Hmm. Perhaps this theory needs more work.

Because that asshole I’m confronting could be me.
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I am listening to: Songs about trains
I am reading: 1776 by David McCullough
And I am: Trying hard not to be an asshole