Monday, July 16, 2007

Flipping the mattress

“It looks like you need a new butt,” says Jim.

Thatisntverynice,” I say, mildly muffled 'cause I'm face down in the mattress.

“Well, this one has a crack in it.”

It would’ve been hilarious if it didn’t suck so much.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Feeling ambitious on Saturday, I decide – in addition to changing all the bedding – this time I’ll flip the mattress, too.

Ironically, I thought that flipping it over would be good for my back.

Turns out it wasn’t. Not at all.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Flipping the mattress? Is that a euphemism for some new suburban sex thing I’m gonna see on HBO Real Sex next month?

No. I wish.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So Jim is rubbing Tiger Balm into my lower back and cracking wise about my crack while I’m face down on the culprit.

And that’s pretty much where I’ve been since then.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: The Devil Wears Prada
I am reading: What I did on my summer vacation by Neil SteinbergBLEH!
And I am: Stupid & sore

4 comments:

DewMama said...

You wicked whore

Now stupid and sore



:)

the dilf said...

Hedy, you've got it all wrong. It's NOT Tiger Balm that Jim should be rubbing into your crack area! You should try this world changing substance,it's called.....ASTROGLIDE!!!!!

CRUSTYBEEF said...

Hope you feel better..
Back pain is not something to mess around with.
Always,
Crusty~

Posolxstvo said...

When I bought my latest new mattress in 1999, I was told to flip it once a month.

Heh. Right.

Think it's been flipped no more than 10 times since then. And only when Mrs. P insists that it is time.