Thursday, July 12, 2007

I’m a wicked whore

"People who claim they're evil are usually no worse than the rest of us. It's the people who claim they're good, or any better than the rest of us, that you have to be wary of."

That line is pretty much the best you’ll find in Gregory Maguire’s otherwise drab and disappointing book ‘Wicked’.

It came to mind earlier this week upon learning that David Vitter, a Republican Senator from Louisiana, publicly admitted to ‘a very serious sin’. This revelation came within 24 hours of the news that the D.C. madam had (finally!) released her client list.

Vitter is known for promoting ‘family-values platforms such as marriage protection and abstinence-only programs’ according to news site The Raw Story.

Why is it always the people most interested in controlling the sex lives of others who turn out to be freaky fuck monkeys?
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Not that I view visiting prostitutes as deviant.

Sad and seedy, yes. Deviant? No.

It’s a business. And it should’ve been legalized a long time ago.

But of course, someone like Vitter would’ve voted against it.
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Now that Deborah Jean Palfrey has released her client list, I’m like Jerry Lewis all fresh and frisky on Telethon Friday with a Freaky Fuck Monkey tote board built in the back of brain.

So far it looks like this:

Republicans – 2 (Tobias & Vitter so far)
Democrats - 0

Before this current scandal is over I’ll be the tie-loose, jacket-off, pit-stain, sweaty-head, Scotch-swillin’, ready to tear down the fucking tote board and retire to Boca Jerry.
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Just for giggles, Google ‘Republican sex scandals’.

Then Google ‘Democratic sex scandals’.

Even acknowledging that the Internet is less than reliable, it’s fascinating.

An alarming number of the Republican sex scandals involve pedophilia. Serious, serious crimes against children.

The Democratic sex scandals involve relatively benign sexual harassment charges, prostitutes and of course, the vo-di-o-dome in the White House.

Fascinating.
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Here’s another quote I like:

"Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren't."

Margaret Thatcher said that. I love it because it captures the irony of people who are compelled to make proclamations about themselves.

Do you know anyone like this?

Someone who likes telling you how honest they are. How much integrity they have. How much money they give to charity.

Freaky fuck monkeys, the lot of ‘em.

Trust me. I’m a wicked whore.
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I am listening to: The Tudors Final Episode
I am reading: Real Simple magazine
And I am: Yep. Wicked. Whore.

4 comments:

Mrs. Pos said...

Oh, oh, oh, I want a Freaky Fuck Monkey tote board too! Better yet, let me be your tally mark minion -- I'll even bring my own stash of multi-colored sharpie markers for recording the nefarious deeds (heh heh heh).

BTW - I too am a very wicked whore ... I've never claimed to be good for anything ;)

CRUSTYBEEF said...

Yes, Hedy, I do know quite a few self promoters..
don't forget to include those with the perfect memory, perfect era that they grew up in, perfect marriage..
The self professed self promoters deserve a FFM bag without a doubt.
Always,
crusty!

dr. detroit said...

I'm accepting all wh*res! My door is open!

DewMama said...

Yeah Yeah Yeah--Tell us something we DON'T know :)