Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Such as, maps

“I bet she sucks dick like a champ,” said Jim over dinner at Melvin B’s Truck Stop last night. “So she’ll be okay.”

We were watching the ubiquitous clip of Caitlin Upton, a Miss Teen USA contestant who badly botched her answer during the “All This And Brains Too!” portion of the competition.

The question?

A fifth of Americans can’t locate the U.S. on a world map. Why do you think this is?

She muttered something about 'U.S. Americans' not having enough maps and then went off into a muddled mess of South Africa and 'The Iraq' before shaking her tits, flashing a smile and shouting TA-DA! to the packed auditorium.

Well, maybe not that last part, but you get the picture.

First of all, why do we expect these chicks to speak, let alone answer Very Thinky Questions? They’re up there because they’re cute, not because they’re smart.

So let ‘em jiggle and sing a little and then pick the one that looks most likely to pose in Playboy after her 'career' hits a low point 10 years from now and be done with it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
By the way, one fifth of Americans can't find the U.S. on a map because we don't need to, we're HERE!

TA-DA!!!

I'm callin' Playboy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: Suchas, maps, suchas
I am reading: Harry Potter – Book 4
And I am: Map happy

4 comments:

S.Ray said...

Well...if she sucks D*ck...she must be a republican...so hedy, I guess you hate her now!

Hedy said...

s.ray: You're kidding right? Republican chicks don't do that. "Eeeewwwww!" Oral is reserved for repressed Republican dudes (preferably in the stalls of public restrooms).

Hedy said...

Re-posted on behalf of Mr. UK: She was on the Today show yesterday trying to save herself. She had a very well thought out, but not necessarily good, answer prepared for them. Matt Lauer went out of his to make sure she was comfortable, telling her they ALL make those kind of DUH! mistakes. Matt's apparently newly single, and trolling for young 'ens.

-Mr. Uk

She and Lance Briggs need to get better PR people.

CRUSTYBEEF said...

This world is going to crap. They need to spend more focus on other things than mundane answers from a girl that still isn't sure of herself..
The bandwagon of Drama..
I'll take the next bus, please. :)
Always,
Crusty~

So republicans don't do oral? That "sucks" for them...:)