Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Bubblegum whiplash

“Oh, BAZOOKA!”

That’s me, grabbing at the Baggie of bubblegum co-worker Josh brought to the booth.

BAM!

Justlikethat I am six years old.

I peel back the paper flap like an expert, careful to avoid tearing the comic tucked inside.

I take that first, fresh expectant sniff.

I pop the small powdery pink piece into my face and chew chew chew chew chew chew chew, working up to that Magical Miraculous Bubble.

Meanwhile, I fold open the comic, anticipating the final bit of silly nostalgia that caps the Bazooka Experience.

Wait. Heh?

I squint, holding the scrap closer to my nose. What the hell? Nothing.

I can’t READ the FUCKING comic.

The type font is so small I can only guess what’s happening based on the tiny, poorly drawn characters.

BAM!

I am 60 years old and blind as a sad bat.

PTOOEY.

I spit the blob into the wastebasket.

Bubble Yum was better anyway. Bigger bubbles.

And no perennially disappointing comic.
~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: Brand New Key - Deana Carter
I am reading: Deus Ex Malcontent
And I am: Old

3 comments:

the dilf said...

I miss the Bubs Daddy. Remember those? I took 30 to school every year for my birthday.

fm said...

oh come on... you're not old!!!

it's just that the quality of printing has gone worse. they're just trying to cut corners by printing smaller making it look all blobbery.

....aah yes... and really haven't had 'dem gums in ages. makes me want them now.

Susan said...

The real problem behind the comic is that it is printed in China with lead laden ink that smears - didn't you know?

blow