Monday, March 10, 2008

God vs. the Internet

When I ask the Internet a question, it provides an answer immediately. I stopped asking God questions a long time ago because he never, ever answers.

The Internet makes it easier than ever to connect with friends and family. Beliefs about God have divided friends and family since the beginning of time.

Better still, the Internet connects people who don’t even know each other from all over the world. Sadly, the world remains divided over religion and God doesn’t seem to be doing much to help that.

If I am ever lonely, I can talk to my friends via Instant Messenger or Skype – day or night. When I’m lonely, that’s when God feels the most far away.

When I want something, the Internet helps me find it and get it. When I pray to God for something, there are absolutely no guarantees it will ever arrive, let alone on time and with free Super Saver shipping.

All you need is a browser to access the Internet. If you want to get to heaven and see God, there are a bazillion different rules you have to follow and still there are no guarantees.

Nobody ever killed anybody because the Internet told them to do it. More people have died for God than any other cause on the planet.

When something bad happens, the Internet lets the world know what can and should be done about it. When something bad happens, God is silent.

Thanks to WiFi, I have Internet access everywhere, all the time. To feel closer to God, the accepted practice is to go to a church or synagogue or mosque.

I know the Internet exists because I’ve seen it. Of course the Internet does go out occasionally, but that’s because of those godless fuckers at the cable company. But at least it’s here and works most of the time.

The jury’s still out on God.
I am listening to: The Corrs – Borrowed Heaven
I am reading: Neil at the Sun-Times
And I am: Fine


Dave said...

One of your best posts.

Susan said...

A computer can’t send you a friend you haven’t seen in 5 years – to a train car that you happen to be on – alone and fearful – to comfort you with prayers and kindness – to share your tears and surround you with their love.

from above

the dilf said...

I'm too scared to respond to this one...

I don't want to be in front of Satan when he says,
"Thanks for agreeing with your little left-wing, potty mouthed, know-it-all, bimbo friend of yours!"

I'm already going to have enough trouble explaining to him!

judy said...

According to your quote: "Thanks to WiFi, I have Internet access everywhere, all the time. To feel closer to God, the accepted practice is to go to a church or synagogue or mosque."
I disagree....You don't have to go to a church to find God; He is accessible anywhere, anytime (plus the access is FREE of charge) :)

molly gras said...

tricky concept--this God business--frustrating at best.

Let me know when you've reached another serious religious epiphany ~ I'd be more than obliged to hear it, seeings how we seem to have a common attitude regarding the matter ...

Peace sista ;)

Anonymous said...

I've felt this way a LOT, Hedy. I have an arm's distance relationship right now. It wasn't always that way. But a combination of circumstances in my life, unanswered questions/pleas for help, and the indifference/busyness/downright double-standardness (is that a word?) of people in the church I reached out to (church is apparently God's stand-in for his own physical proximity) killed it for me. Somehow these people keep popping up around me & despite me honestly sharing my feelings of disconnectedness from both them & God, they seem happy to go their merry way, without an invite to get together for coffee, lunch, dinner, a walk, anything. Can you believe that a close friend texted me that God loved me??? Texted. Never called. Never emailed. Texted. That after a year or so had past since we've even seen each other or talked. Ugh. For me, personally, it's hard to believe God cares, when he "talks" through people like that to me.

I agree that the internet has helped me a great deal when it's come to finding some kind of community. I've had mere acquaintances & total strangers treat me better than a lot of church people I've known. And, outside of the internet, I've made more friends & have had more of a social life since leaving the church.

Thanks for writing this,

One of your train buddies... ;-)

Hedy said...

Of course nobody screams, "OH GOOGLE!" during those moments of ultimate pain or pleasure. At least not yet. :)

theozbc said...

Recently I was in India for 16 days on business. I was surprised to learn of the number of different gods and goddesses in the Hindu religion. Right, there's only one God, my God or you die! Each religion has their own form or forms of God. The crazy's within each religion use their God to promote their own agenda and greed. God certainly wouldn't be happy with how people use him for their own purposes.

One of my favorite lines from an old tune. "Send me money, send me green, heaven you'll meet. Make your contribution and you'll get a better seat."

Hedy said...

Thank you for so many wonderful, diverse comments on this. Here we are, all of us, thinking about various aspects of God today -- all because of the Internet. I don't care what you believe, this is a blessing for sure.

Anonymous said...

Here we go again. God always answers, but we may not be willing to hear what He is saying. When I have a problem or feel lonely, I open my Bible to a random page, and 9 times out of 10 what I read will relate to what is going on in my life. Before I got to this place in my life when I had a problem I would think I have to call Lana, Anita, or Joan. I don't do that anymore. There are no guarantees in life. Our wants are not always what we need. You said a Bazillion rules? No, there are only 10 rules. You know that I don't go to church, and I feel closer to God than most of the pew sitting Christians. You keep putting your faith in the internet Heather, and you will remain lonely & unsure for the rest of your life. Do I feel that I am better than anyone else because I believe in God? You know the answer to that Heather. Do I feel that I & all the other people who believe as I do will be the only ones in Heaven? You know the answer to that Heather.

Posolxstvo said...

Ah yes. The classic humanist/deist (theist?) debate. After all, when you are referring to the Internet as opposed to God, you are referring to the information on the Internet, which was put there by, and represents, humans.

Of course, everything we know about God was handed down to us by other humans as well, so I suspect that there's as much bad as there is good on the Internet - just like in religion, but on the Internet it is so easy to leave where you are uncomfortable and find someplace else where you are comfortable. In the physical world, that's not so easy. If you are in a Catholic town and you're not a Catholic, it isn't so simple to just leave. (See Chocolat for a frame of reference...)

Some say that mysticism works the same way as the Internet, but I have yet to experience a truly mystical experience, so I shall stay clammed up about that.