Tuesday, March 04, 2008

The turdliness continues

“Did you talk to Ryan?” asks the Turd yesterday afternoon, passing my office on his way out the door. “His 30 days are up.”

Ryan is the admin guy we hired last month after the Great Turd Explosion of 2008. We agreed that after 30 days we’d decide if he was working out.

“I thought you and I were going to talk about it,” I say.

He shakes his head in frustration.

“No, you were supposed to speak with him first.”

I figure there’s really nothing to lose here and I’m not about to be bested in the management department by the likes of this insufferable douchebag, who I wouldn’t trust running a pay-per-squat shithouse at the county fair.

“Since he started we’ve been speaking on a weekly basis, often daily, and based on his progress and feedback, I’d say he was a very good hire.”

Now at this point, if you are a rational, sane person, you’d probably say something like “I’m glad to hear he’s working out.”


The Turd frowns, and yells:

“Well he BETTER BE, or HE’S OUT!”

Then he stormed off.

It was a good thing, too, because I burst out laughing.

Who says shit like that?
I am listening to: Mendelssohn's Spring Song
I am reading: This article from the New York Times
And I am: Giggly


Susan said...

Is it possible that the turd is just so sick of his own stench that he just has to wipe it on everyone he comes in contact with?


molly gras said...

Damn, Susan beat me to the analytical punch!

I'm glad you laughed ~ I would have thrown something at the back of his head ... in the hopes of making some sort of blood-curdling contact.

Well, maybe not really. But my alternative universe self would have: He'd been decapitated in a thrice by my strategically hurled three-hole puncher with a letter opener follow-up! Tiesa! Whack! Bam! Omph!

Anonymous said...

this is the sort of thing that pushed me into the freelance world. i can't stand that sort of behavior...i'd much rather be freaking out about working than freaking out about some freakish jackass middle management power junkie. :)

i'm so glad you can laugh about it. it willb e a good day when i can look back and laugh too!!

Posolxstvo said...

According to the latest management style book I am reading, it sounds like you are both treating each other like objects, rather than like people. I think you might need an offsite team building exercise. Probably involving throwing fish at each other. Possibly involving lots of Pert and Gantt charts and TQM diagrams.

Either that, or you need to start drinking on the job.

Hedy said...

OUTSTANDING, Pos! Don't forget the SWOT analysis. Screw it, I'm drinking. :)

Anonymous said...

The turd is OK, he just needs to be slowly choked to death and thrown into the Fox river. He can rest in peace with the rest of Capone's fallen astray.

Dave said...

Late to the party; but, turd is a noun like stud. Shouldn't the title say "The Turdliness Continues?"