Monday, November 17, 2008

The anti-Christ conundrum

“I have to ask,” I say to Mom this morning. “Some fundamental Christians believe that Obama is the anti-Christ. Wouldn’t that be a good thing? Wouldn’t that mean the end-times are here and Christ is finally coming back?”

“I guess from a Christian perspective, we’d just rather he was president of some other country.”

She was joking of course. But she didn’t miss a beat and it was brilliant.

I’m still giggling about it here, a half hour later, on the train.
It’s a legitimate question.

If cuddly-wuddly Christ’s nemesis is here, then Christians the world over should be rejoicing.

It means that all of the true believers will be taken up to heaven with their Savior while the rest of us pagans Jews Muslims Buddhists atheists Democrats heathens suffer and die at the hands of the Dark and Prickly-Dickly Lord.

It’s gonna be quite a party.


I know, I know.

I don’t mean to make light of the end of the world as we know it. I’ll leave that to R.E.M.

Here’s the thing: If I’m the anti-Christ, I’m sure as hell not gonna make it hard on myself by trying to take over the world dressed as a half-black geeky dude with a funny sounding name.

If I’m the anti-Christ, I’m gonna try to blend in and be as normal as possible.

Like Joe Six-Pack.
I am listening to: Gives You Hell – The All-American Rejects
I am reading: Nothing, although The Glass Castle was very good
And I am: Cuddly-wuddly waiting


Posolxstvo I said...

Watch out for when he plans his first trip to Israel. All the "twue beweivers" will be out in force, I am sure.

Here's an interesting book on that very subject, sans Obama...

Anonymous said...

If I were the anti-Christ I would come back as a dog that is owned by people who are often not at home. And while they were away I would log on to the computer and create a network of people who would all watch the same pre-selected viral video at precisely the same pre-determined time. As a result of this mass action, the backbone of the internet would self destruct and all communication would go down for 36.5 hours.
At precisely 15:30 hours on the following day I would morph a set of hands and go to the fridge and prepare for myself a tall glass of ice cold milk and a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. And then I would sit back and watch as all the global financial systems crashed... thus creating a world economic crisis.
But that’s just me.

miss kitty said...

"If I were the anti-Christ"...written by Grommie the DOG..don't you all know that D-O-G is how Satan spells G-O-D? He spells it backwards for evil reasons!

So look no further...D-O-Gs ARE the anti-Christ.