Friday, January 09, 2009

Looks like a left wing liberal whore

“Yesterday I have this guy who say he’s Christian,” says my cab driver. “Say he's teaching Christian school 40 years.”

“Oh yeah?” I say, wondering where the hell this is going.

“He was no Christian. He was jerk. And I want to tell him ‘I am Muslim, how do I know more about your Jesus than you?’”

He holds up a small MP3 player and smiles.

“I listen to Koran every day. It tells about Jesus – I know about him and his mother and what he do, how he live. I know more than this guy about his Jesus.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Quite a photo, isn’t it?” asks the Pakistani guy standing next to me on the 7:42 train to Chicago.

We were waiting to get off the train, reading the front section of the Chicago Tribune someone had left on the luggage rack. It was that photo of all the presidents: Bush, Bush Sr., Clinton, Carter, and Obama from the famous lunch they had earlier this week.

“But only two great presidents,” he says, pointing to Clinton and Obama, and smiling.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“It’s a great day,” says the cab driver, winding his way through Chicago.

“It sure is,” I say.

“Obama is our candidate for president,” he says.

“He sure is.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It happens all the time. This thing.

Strangers expressing views on politics and religion, assuming I’ll agree.

And here’s the deal: I do agree. 100% of the time.

But how the hell do they know I’m – as my friend You Know Who likes to say – a left wing liberal whore?

I don’t dress like a hippy chick. My fashion leans toward Midwestern Chubby Girl. And I have no visible tattoos.

So what gives?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“You must give off some kind of weird vibe – how do you attract people like this all the time?”

That was my dear friend DewMama, back in college when I was more of a whore than a left wing liberal, but anyhoo.

It’s been the story of my life: People open up to me on things that they probably shouldn’t and/or wouldn’t with others.

It happens all the time.

Well, Hedy, I’m sure your cab drivers don’t say that shit to old white dudes in suits.

Right. Like the Jesus teacher.

But why open up like that to me? I could just as easily be a Right Wing Bible Humpin' Christian. They can’t possibly know who I am or what I believe just by looking at me.

Can they?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: The irritating dude in front of me babbling into his phone
I am reading: The Soft Addiction Solution by Judith Wright
And I am: An LW-squared

8 comments:

molly gras said...

It's a scent thing--like ants--where like-minded organisms from disparate backgrounds/locations converge and share like-minded things.

It's the basis of Group Think ... I think.

Anonymous said...

I can only smell a left wing liberal whore from a mile away. But I can smell a right wing conservative skank whore from the next county.
In other words I can smell!!
Now give me a bath!
Grommie

you know who said...

Lots of people telegraph who they are just by their appearance, expressions and mannerisms. It’s the same way guys (back in the day) knew which chick to hit on in a crowded bar (or so I'm told. Jim helped me on this one a I was never very successful with the ladies… but I digress). Some women just had 'the eye of the tiger' and you knew just by watching her that she was looking for dick (or so Jim told me…again, I was never good at it, but always enjoyed watching Jim the Master). Your eyes, mannerisms and general presence tell a different story. You all but instantly telegraph yourself as a very sweet, smart, deeply caring, considerate and wonderfully compassionate person, with the mouth of an ex Recon Marine Specialist turned full time Truck Driver and part time Well-Digger. Your expressions, body language and general presence all say: "I really really really just fucking love everyone here with me. I only wish everyone could be this fucking happy. Now let's all eat some cookies sing kum-ba-fucking-ya and try to make the world a better place!" By contrast, my own expressions and body language tend to say: "get the fuck off my lawn".

By the way, it's not just your fellow lefties who are able to sniff you out on sight. The right-wingers all instantly know who/what you are too, which is precisely why none of them ever talk to you.

ps - I ride you about your bleeding heart liberal tendencies but in all honestly I think the world needs a lot more people like you (I just wish they wouldn't vote) For what it's worth, you are my favorite liberal whore.

Posolxstvo the First said...

Everyone assumes that I agree with them. Because everyone assumes that their viewpoint is THE ONLY VALID AND CORRECT VIEWPOINT.

Kind of annoying actually.

Even when I do agree with them, I do hate that they presume to know what my stance is. Of course, the fact that I refuse to make myself a lightning rod for criticism probably doesn't help.

You know what I do like? When people ASK what I think. And let me finish telling them what I think without interrupting me.

Doesn't happen often.

fermicat said...

Well thank God they're getting it right, right? Because wouldn't it feel so much worse if they were reading you wrong?

Hedy said...

Thanks, YKW, I am still laughing over this today. Classic.

Hedy said...

Good call, Fermicat. I guess it would be bad if I was projecting the whole Bible Humpin' Christian thing.

And in response to your 'baked' comment from the other day: Yes. I was taking nips off Jim's flask for courage. No baking, just nipping, but still good.

mirzadude said...

if only u knew why *sigh*

u sure he was pakistani?? probably was if he was tall + dark + handsome.