What annoys me

Yesterday was Something Else, eh?

I am extremely grateful that my friend “The Dude” was willing to help out during what has been a very hectic time. He’s just a great friend that love, love, love to pieces.

However, I have to confess that I struggled with publishing his entry without cutting the parts I found offensive. If you’ve been reading HedyBlog for more than a week, I’m sure you can pick ‘em out.

But then I realized it was an opportunity to explore something that’s been on my mind for quite a while. It’s a touchy topic and I’ll prolly muck it up a bit, but hopefully I won’t lose anybody over it.

Or maybe I will. But I sure hope not.
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“It was totally nigger-rigged.”
“He’s a Patel. You know, an Indian guy. They’re all over these tech events.”
“You’re gay, dude. Seriously.”
“I got gypped.”

These are just a few of the racial/homophobic phrases I’ve heard in the past 24 hours.

Yep.

And if I called out everyone on his or her prejudices – racial, religious, or otherwise – I would be an extremely lonely person.

But when is it okay to tell your friends that their prejudices bug you? If I love people no matter what, does that include the folks who are just a little bit racist or a little too homophobic?

Where do you draw the line? When do you say: Dude, it’s not cool?
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Some people say shit like that to be funny and outrageous. To draw a response. Like my friend the Anonymous Blogger from yesterday.

Confession: I have burst out laughing at extremely inappropriate comments. We've all done it, I think.

But I’m not entirely sure if it’s because it was genuinely funny or from the shock of hearing it.
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And why the HELL is it okay to say someone’s gay as long as it’s followed by the popular Seinfeldian phrase “Not that there’s anything wrong with it”?

Why do some people care SO MUCH about sexual orientation – as if it really matters what goes on between two consenting adults in private?

It smacks of jealousy. Or something.
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Here’s what annoys me most: It’s so fucking easy to put people in categories rather than understanding them as individuals with hearts and minds and goals and challenges just like you.

But Hedy, I don’t want to get to know [insert offensive label of your choice here]. I don’t want to understand them. I want them to leave me and my family the fuck alone. I want to be able to tell jokes about them when I'm among my white, heterosexual friends. I want them to stop demanding special treatment. I want to stop hearing about them on TV and in the newspapers.

I want them to start acting normal, like me.

Or something.
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I am listening to: My gut
I am reading: Nothing
And I am: Uneasy