NoThanksgiving

I guess it’s that time of year again. Time to be all grateful and shit.

But I don’t feel like it today.

So here’s the deal: Since we’ll all be engorged with gratitude tomorrow, let's designate this -- the Wednesday before Turkey Day -- an official holiday.

We'll call it NoThanksgiving.

I like it.

Whaddaya say? Feel like bitchin’? Today’s the day. Have at it.

Here are the things I’m ungrateful for at the onset of this oh-so-fucking festive time of year:

Two (count ‘em!) in-grown toenails. Gross.
This itchy brown sweater
Christmas music that started the day after Halloween
People driving too slow in the passing lane
Microsoft Windows XP and SharePoint
People who can’t get beyond their own fucked up childhood bullshit to do the right thing
Ear buds that are too big for my tiny ears
My tiny ears
My big ass
Poodles
People who are quick to believe the worst in others
Heartburn
Corporate jets for auto execs (shouldn’t they drive, like, everywhere?)
Gromit’s ass-breath the past week
The books on my desk that keep flopping over onto my wooden traveling Buddha
The non user-friendly clock in my car, still on standard time because I can’t fucking figure out how to switch it over
AT&T dropped calls and their inept/ridiculous customer service people
People who talk more than they listen
Laundry
Dry, cracked fingers
Hillary Clinton as Secretary of State
That one song on my iPod that I’ve deleted three times yet it won’t go away
People who text while driving or walking
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: An Evening with El Diablo - Chevelle
I am reading: eCommerce sell sheet
And I am: Ungrateful