Monday, February 12, 2007

Anna & the Continuum of Untimely Death

First of all: Here’s a great, big sincere thank you to everyone for contributing comments on Friday.

I was taken aback at the response to what I considered a rather benign and mostly accurate statement.

At the time I wrote it I actually thought, “Who doesn’t think Anna Nicole Smith is a money-grabbing bimbo?”

I stand corrected. Thanks.
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“Maybe they loved each other,” said my Mom on Friday during a somewhat heated discussion about Anna’s untimely demise.

“MOM!” I yell, nearly driving off the Eisenhower expressway. “She met him WORKING in a STRIP CLUB. She was 26 years old and he was in his eighties.”

“Well maybe she really loved him,” Mom insisted. “That’s no reason to call her a money-grabbing bimbo.”

“Fuck bunny. How about fuck bunny? Is that better?”

Maybe if she’d met her 89-year-old billionaire husband while wiping his ass volunteering in a nursing home, I’d have cut her a little more slack.
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Introducing HedyBlog's Continuum of Untimely Death (CUD).

Ta-da!

Did you die trying to make the world a better place?

Did you die because of a tragic accident?

Did you die doing something stupid?

Did you kill yourself?

Did you die because you made the world a worse place?

On HedyBlog’s Continuum of Untimely Death, Anna Nicole Smith ranks somewhere between Darth Vader and Marilyn Monroe.

It’s a shame she died so young. But tragic? I don’t know.
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I didn’t mean to say that Anna Nicole Smith deserved to die because she was a money-grabbing bimbo.

I meant that given the regrettable karmic choices she made, she was fortunate to have lived as long as she did.

She’s dead. And maybe I took a cheap shot by disrespecting her life.

Would it have been nearly as offensive if I'd called her a money-grabbing bimbo while she was alive? Why does that matter?

What are we calling the three (count ‘em!) men claiming to be the father of her baby? Scum?

So it’s not alright for me to call Anna out on her bad behavior, but it’s okay to say the various men she slept with were scum?

Why does death instantly lend an air of respectability to people who otherwise don't deserve it?
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Here’s the deal. I was the Queen of Bad Decisions up until more recently than I’d care to admit.

So keep your ‘let she who is without sin’ and ‘judge not lest ye be’ in your pants for just a minute.

In spite of some truly bimbotic moments, I like to think that I’ve learned from my mistakes and that by trying to make good decisions (and maybe a smallish difference in the world), I can somehow make up for them.

I don’t think that it’s wrong for me to expect the same from my fellow human beings. Especially those who are in a position to make an even bigger difference than us average folks.

We’re all in this together.

And if you’re not trying to make the world a better place by learning and growing and maybe even helping those who can’t help themselves – if you’re, say, a selfish, money-grabbing bimbo – then I’m sorry, but I’m not mourning the loss if you go.
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Your Mom called you a bimbo, Hedy. Doesn’t that suck just a little?

Hell, no. If it’s not true, why should I be offended? On the other hand, if it is true and I am self aware enough to acknowledge it, again, why should I be offended?

And if you remember, Mom also called me a flag-burning slut.

I haven’t burned the flag. Yet.
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But what about Anna’s baby daughter? Isn’t it sad that she’ll never know her mom?

Yes. It is very sad for that little girl who will only be able to imagine what having a mother is like.

Hopefully the mom that she imagines will be more like mine and not like hers.
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I am listening to: Thunderclap Newman – Something in the Air
I am reading: An article about Barack Obama on Salon.com
And I am: Ready for a new topic

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

3 things...
1.)our firewall blocks the "CUD"...booooooo!
2.)Don't go rippin the guys who took a shot at her! Who wouldn't do a "Drive By" on her?????...It might be Unbelievable and how much fun would it be to tell everyone!?!?!?!?!
3.)Listen here you little flag burning ho, Don't you Dare burn a Flag!!!!...I'm for free speech, but for some reason, Flag Burning makes me Violent!... Why is that?

Hedy said...

1) I will try to be more compassionate about your firewall problem s.ray.
2) That's the thing that is most amazing about this sad situation, and Joeysday said it best: "There is so much out there that deserves front and center attention, versus this." Why do we even know about these guys? Why is it such a hot topic on the news? Who really cares?
3) I will burn the flag the day our government takes away my right to do so. The flag is a symbol; but what it stands for is so much more important and can never be destroyed -- except by conservative idiots who use wedge issues like flag burning and abortion and same sex marriage to rally voters.

Anonymous said...

Well...how about the left wing rally cry???????.....
1.)TAX THE RICH!
2.)the RICH are SCUMBAGS
3.)Let's TAKE from this group...and GIVE it to THAT group!
4.)Let's investigate EVERYONE who has money!
5.)Lets KILL all Rich People!!!

Response:YEEEAAAAHHHHHH!

Anonymous said...

Very impressive hedy.
Agreeing to disagree is a fantastic tool that not too many people have. Good to know you do!
Looking forward to more writings from you.
Did I spell all that right??

Hedy said...

Joeysday -- I'm so glad you're still here with us after my snippy and stupid spelling comment. I'm looking forward to the day when you catch one of my typos; it'll happen soon enough. Thank you for being here. :)

Dave said...

I did call them scum, didn't I? Zsa Zsa's husband is closer to not alive than the other two. I am altering my description of him to gauche.