Mine goes to 11

Just when you think the world can't surprise you, there's this from -- ironically enough -- the Land Down Under:

Australian doctors warn against 'designer vagina' craze

I refuse to actually read the article for fear of being caught up in this muff-related mania.

Seriously.

Isn't keeping up on skirt lengths and hairstyles worrisome enough for us fashion-impaired types?

Now I have to think about couture for my cootchie? C'mon.
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Okay, I had to read it.

And I'm all "WHEW!" and then "THAT'S CRAZY!" and then "OUCH!"

Apparently this latest craze is about surgery for 'vaginal rejuvenation, revirgination, designer vaginoplasty and G-spot amplification.'

G-spot amplification? Amplification?

Is there a knob somewhere? Does this mean there's a mute button, too? Who knew?
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But Hedy, you had a boob job. Would you deny women the opportunity to improve their quality of life through surgery?

Tits are one thing. You just don't mess with the muff.
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I am listening to: Pink - Who Knew
I am reading: Nothing
And I am: Having t-shirts made