It's 9:33 a.m. And I'm eating Cheez-Its for breakfast.
I'm not crazy, just incredibly hormonal.
Yep. Perhaps one of the most emotionally-charged events in recent memory and I'm fixin' to bleed.
I was choking up at the rehearsal last night. Without serious help from Jack Daniels today, I'm going to be a blubbering pile of snot before we even make it to the church.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Are you glad you married me?" I ask yesterday, after a lovely and unexpected afternoon visit with the Bride and Groom.
It's not quite enough to be cramped and bloated and crabby, I have to become a bleeding Mrs. Beasley doll -- pull my cord and instead of 'Would you like to try on my glasses?' or 'Do you want to know a secret?' it's the same four questions:
- Do you love me?
- Do I look fat?
- Are you glad you married me?
- WHERE IS THE CHIP DIP?
"Are you glad you married me?"
"Yes. It was the best day of my life."
"You're lying."
"Yes. I'm lying. It was the day Karen Abbott gave me a blowjob. But our wedding was a close second."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
And that is what I wish for our dear friends Steve and Judy on this brightest and most blessed of days: Laughter.
Keep laughing together and your best day will never be behind or ahead of you, but today.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: This Will Be (An Everlasting Love) - Natalie Cole
I am reading: Nothing
And I am: Bleeding and blessed
8 comments:
Hedy,Hedy,Hedy ....
Marriage is about Sex, not laughter.
The more you're "Buns to the Sky".....the happier the marriage!
Jeesh.....do I have to teach you Everything?
Maybe you should use a pseudonym for the individual who blew you know who. You know with google and all it could be embarrassing. Just a thought...
Hmmm, now that I think of it maybe you did use a pseudonym... odd word pseudonym... looks funny... no smell though... SQUIRRELL!! Gotta run!
Gromit
Good point, Gromit. However, to use a phrase I'm sure you hate: the cat is out of the bag.
SEE! THIS is how rumors get started. Pseudonym or no pseudonym, Miss A did NOT blow 'you know who'. She blew JIM.
The problem is, I don't know who.
And, not that anyone asked me, but in my opinion, Sue Donem was waaaaay over-rated.
You Know Who is Jim's long-time Right Wing Republican friend who spends most of his days traveling the globe on golf-related boondoggles. He charmingly refers to me as a Left Wing Liberal Whore or Caustic Bitch, depending on his mood. You Know Who is married to the lovely and talented Mrs. You Know Who, who is wayyyy too good for the likes of him. That said, we are profoundly grateful to her because she makes YKW much easier/fun to be around.
Sue Donem? Is that a pseudonym? As in Done 'Em? :)
Hedy -- Yes. Sue Donem is a Pseudonym. And for what it's worth, so is Anna Mattapeya.
They're also both really bad puns, of sorts.
I''m coming down from a decidedly hectic weekend so I'm sorry for being slow on the uptake. Yeesh. :)
Post a Comment