Jungle love

"Federal employees charged millions of dollars for Internet dating, tailor-made suits, lingerie, lavish dinners and other questionable expenses to their government credit cards over a 15-month period, congressional auditors say."

That's really all you need to read from this AP story published today.

Okay, I lied.

You really should read the whole thing, especially this part:

"The review of card spending at more than a dozen departments from 2005 to 2006 found that nearly 41 percent of roughly $14 billion in credit-card purchases, whether legitimate or questionable, did not follow procedure — either because they were not properly authorized or they had not been signed for by an independent third party as called for in federal rules to deter fraud. For purchases over $2,500, nearly half — or 48 percent — were unauthorized or improperly received."

And this:

"Out of a sample of purchases totaling $2.7 million, the government could not account for hundreds of laptop computers, iPods and digital cameras worth more than $1.8 million. In one case, the U.S. Army could not say what happened to computer items making up 16 server configurations, each of which cost nearly $100,000."

But wait, here's the best part:

"At the State Department, one credit-card holder bought $360 worth of women's lingerie at Seduccion Boutique for use during jungle training by trainees of a drug enforcement program in Ecuador."

To summarize: Some government cock-hole used your tax dollars to meet a monkey via an Internet dating service, bought that hairy bitch some new squirrel covers and then fed her a fancy schmancy steak.

God, I love this country.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: Jungle Love - The Time
I am reading: Nothing
And I am: Submitting my resume to the State Department