Thursday, April 24, 2008

See what happens when I take a day off

Lynchings in Congo as penis theft panic hits capital

Some lucky stiff at Reuters had a blast writing that headline.

I'm trying to figure out the mechanics of a penis snatching. Is it similar to my Uncle Frank's famous "I've got your nose" trick?

Because it's not as if a penis is a purse or something you could grab and run off with too easily.

Although, if we can believe all of the National Geographic specials on Africa I've ever seen, they do keep their wieners, shall we say, readily available and ripe for thievery or whathaveyou.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Penis. Theft. Panic.

C'mon. We know what's really happening, don't we ladies?

"Can you describe the penis, sir?"

"It was big. Huge. And it always worked. Always."

"Right."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am listening to: Craig Ferguson
I am reading: Eh, not much right now
And I am: Saying penis theft panic three times fast

8 comments:

the dilf said...

Hey Ladies....Mine's out there for the Takin!...I'm ringing the dinner bell....COME AND GET IT!!!!!!!

Hedy said...

DILF! This is your FIRST and ONLY WARNING: KEEP IT IN YOUR PANTS HERE. Remember, Mom reads this blog. Unless of course you're offering it up to her, but I'm guessing she'd really have no use for it now that Da's retired and all.

Tell us, please, are you so anxious to have yours stolen because it is no longer in use? In which case, who wants it? The world wants to know.

CRUSTYBEEF said...

hmmm,..When I read the article yesterday online sometime in the afternoon, I contemplated sending you the link.
Then I thought, nawwww...she has enough girth "in her hands" with Hilary posts, so why bother her with a link in regards to penis sorcerers. (sp??)

So I sent it to my friend over in Letterman's office, instead.

Hapenis brings growth! :)
Always,
Elizabeth

Anonymous said...

Sometimes my penis goes inside itself. Once, when this happened, I thought for a moment that someone had snatched it while I wasn't looking. But then it came back. After this happened a few times I realized it was not stolen at all. As you can imagine this was a very welcome realization.
So I licked it and went about my business.
Gromit

Posolxstvo said...

For some reason, everyone's blog entries are reminding me of songs today.

Your song of the day?

King Missile's "Detachable Penis"

If not familiar, it would be worth your while to look it up. I'd be willing to bet that YouTube has the video...

Hedy said...

I love Detachable Penis! Great song! Great concept!

Dave said...

As I clicked to type a comment, I intended to say something about noses and Uncles, me and Frank. Then I read what preceded me. I have nothing more to say.

Anonymous said...

Ah heck Hedy. Don't let them get to ya. There was, is now, and always will be, ignorant people… there’s just no getting around it really. Why, I’ll bet that most of those people don’t even know they are racist. I’ll bet if you asked, most of them they would say they even have a black friend!

Truthfully, I get riled myself when I see ignorance parading itself around as righteousness. And this whole “pride” thing. Correct me if I’m wrong but isn’t “pride” one of the seven deadly sins?

The next time you get one of those emails just hit the old delete button. After all, why let the haters get to ya? Don’t get me wrong, I like your spunk and I like it that you’re not afraid to tell it like it is… but be careful to not let their hate infect you.

I guess it just gets to me when you get so worked up.

That said, keep fighting, give them hell, and most of all… never let a day go by!

Ohh… a CAT!!! Frickin’ prideful varmints… late.

Gromit